To hate this meme?

[angelicanto]

Not sure if meme is the right word but anyway it is doing the rounds again on my social media and it makes me feel
Uncomfortable because the assumption is that childcare is the responsibility of the mother rather than a joint cost to be borne by both parents?? Aibu??

I see your point and agree in two parent families it shouldn’t be one parent’s responsibility but not all families have two parents to ‘share’ childcare costs.

Whilst I agree with your sentiment I do think it highlights one of the reasons why women end up trapped in bad relationships. Two sided for me.

It’s not a meme. I see your point childcare shouldn’t come down to just mum but often does which is wrong

It's good it highlights that it is typically the mother who deals with household,/childrearing. It could do with being more explicit about it though.

Most people don't recognise the economic value, let alone the societal importance of this work. And it is work!

I totally see your point. And even in families where the parents have split, it should still be a joint financial responsibility. Of course deadbeat dads get away with shirking that but the point still stands. I say that as someone who made no profit (taking my salary individually) for several years that I worked because childcare was the equivalent of what I earned. Childcare costs have long been an issue- and in fact the short maternity leaves and no free hours at age 3 meant full childcare costs used to last much longer than they do now. It was full nursery costs for us from when dc1 was 12 weeks til a fortnight before he turned 5 and just needed wraparound care! (Pitfall of a September baby!)

Anyway, the point is, yes, it takes two to create a child and it’s a shame that women are seen as either the ones paying for childcare or giving up their career

The gender inequality around parenting is dismaying, but I don’t think it helps to pretend it doesn’t exist. Surely part of the reason women’s average wage is lower than men’s is because of the career break that most mothers have to take, at least when their children are babies. It doesn’t help the cause to pretend child rearing affects men and women equally.

This meme is usually used to lure women into MLM schemes.

I think it shows how a women going back to work is usually not worth it as hervwage will
Just disappear.

Meme is actually the correct term. Any piece of information that spreads wide and far is considered one. The term is from 1976, so it doesn't just apply to the internet.

I think it shows how a women going back to work is usually not worth it as hervwage will Just disappear. Well, yes, if the mother is the only one responsible for the child, but she isn't. Children have 2 parents and both need to shoulder the financial burden. Every time I hear it 'it wasn't financially worth while me working' I wonder why it is always somehow worthwhile for the man to work. Oh yes, that's right, men magically never have to pay a penny for childcare, it seems, just women.

It doesn't matter who pays for the child care!

If household income is £1000 per month, one parent not working, child care fees £0 then household income is £1k. If household income is £1500, both parents working but childcare is £600 then household income is £900.

The HOUSEHOLD is worse off unless the second income covers childcare costs. If it doesn't it costs money for the lower earner to work.

I think yabu. It highlights that it costs to work. That childcare is expensive and explains why so many single parents end up in the benefits trap.

I am assuming it means single mothers, as they mostly have the child, not the father. It is true though. My ds holiday club, is £36 a day, with 2 kids it is £72, that means to make going to work worthwhile, you would need to earn £90-100 per day.

They never factor in, amongst other things, Child Benefit or that lots of people use childminders rather than nurseries.

Also depends how you define “profit”.

Eg I interpret “profit” (to the woman and household) to include financial independence, medium and long term earnings and job options and pension contributions.

yeah - i agree, i saw on FB and just thought, yeah its just the woman who pays for it all

@overagain exactly my point. If bothe parents are working but overall household income is £2000 from both wages (£1000 each)and £1000 has to go out on childcare it’s not worth having both parents out trying to juggle children and work. It’s about the full house income to check if it’s worth both parents working when you wouldn’t actually see any financial benefit. It would probably be better for one parent to SAH.

I really get why it makes you uncomfortable. It's also conveying really important information. It could be better worded in order to make a stronger, clearer point.

but time out to look after DC takes more than just todays earnings, its your pension, your promotions etc

We worked it out based on my earnings, those of us who have a 100% shared money system do need to look at household income as a whole. If I was going to earn less than childcare cost it would have a negative effect on total household income.

Maybe just the '2nd earner' would please people mote.

And yes, there are benefits to working beyond financial gain. It's why we've decided I'll go back to work after DC2, we might just break even on my income BUT the time out of work, my pension, promotions and most importantly, my mental health are equally important. Luckily we are financially able to do this.