Who is being unreasonable?

[NotUmbongoUnchained]

One of my best friends has confronted me on the fact I haven’t been to see her for a few weeks.
The reasons why are because I’ve recently had a miscarriage and haven’t really felt like socialising. Also, she NEVER comes to see us. I can count on one hand how many times she’s been to see me in my house, where as I’d go to hers maybe once a week or more. She doesn’t finish work until 6 so it means me dragging my two young children out, when she doesn’t have any so it’s easier for her to nip out for an hour.
She’s started sending me passive aggressive messages like “I really miss you” “I miss the kids” “you never come and see me anymore” etc.
I just responded with, “you know where I live.”
I’m just so fed up with her and don’t actually want to see her atm, although I know that partly because I’m quite depressed atm.

Am I just being a miserable bitch?

Regardless of your miscarriage the friendship sounds a bit one sided if you do all the running.

Does your friend know you have had a miscarriage? If she does she is being an insensitive cow. If she doesn't it might be worth cutting her some slack and just saying you have had a lot on but she is more than welcome to come and visit you and the kids.

Yes she knows about the miscarriage. My husband says to just leave the kids with him and go but I know she will moan that I haven’t bought them and it will still be me doing all the running.

Just agree and ask her round to yours? Say you’re not up for going to hers but would love to see her at yours.

Course you are not being unreasonable!!

"The road to each other's houses works both ways. Stop sending me pa messages and come see us if you actually miss us, if not stop using it as a dig at me and I will call when I get a chance. But you need to know that me always calling to you and you not calling here has stopped so you either make more of an effort or get used to "missing us" because it will be a regular thing"

I have no time for shit like that though

Sorry to hear that op

The fact she knows and still sends passive aggressive messages would be it for me. Why isn’t she there for you? Honest to god if my friend had had a miscarriage and confided in me I’d be doing everything I could to help.

Does she ever do anything for you? I agree it all sounds very one sided

So she'll moan even if you go but don't bring the kids? I hate moaners, what exactly do you get from being friends with her? She sounds like a shit friend to be honest

She’s brilliant in every other way it’s just this issue.

just ask her to go round yours

She always makes an excuse why she can’t come if I do that.

Just reiterate you would live to see her at yours. If she makes an excuse just say that’s a shame and keep making the same offer every time you receive a pa text

I'd just say 'I miss you too but not up to going out at the moment. I've been thinking about it and realised you very rarely come to mine - can I ask why? You're welcome to visit at x time this week'

Sorry about the miscarriage.

Do you miss her? If so, I would be tempted to reply "I miss you too. Please come visit". But brace yourself for her to reject you. And if she did, I'd be re-thinking the friendship, to be honest.

I think I’d miss her more if I wasn’t so irritated with her.

This isn’t the friend whose husband declared his undying love for you is it? Because that might be why. That all sounded very messy.

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage .

I’d also just say “I miss you too. Please come and see us soon”! And if she doesn’t, there you are.

No this is a different friend.