Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband a dick and I am trapped

11 replies

Blackberry10 · 28/10/2018 07:35

I so fed up. As I said in a previous thread I did my back in on Friday and pulled a muscle and was in agony. I have been given tramadol and diazapan which is knocking me out.

My husband this morning is accusing me of not doing enough.

Yesterday morning he did park run so was out for a good hour and a half, in the afternoon he went to collect something and was out for 2 hours while I sorted dinner. Last night he said he needed some space and went upstairs for a hour while I sorted mine and DS tea.
In between him coming back from dropping something out and him going upstairs for space I went to lie down as I wanted to get comfy and was totally knocked out. I was up for 3 hours and then was rung as asked to come down as DS was playing up. He then disappeared upstairs. When I came up I was angry and told him DS had his his tea was all ready for bed and to get on with it.

The thing is he has been getting worse and worse with my disability as well which is unrelated to this. He throws things when he gets mad or hits a wall or rips the T-shirt he has on in two.

I try to talk to him but it’s all my fault he gets angry. He said yesterday I managed with DS on my own and then ignored him when he came in and I should have stayed up in the afternoon and spent some time as a family. He will be useless with DS today so I have not taken any painkillers as all so I will be more alert (in agony but alert). He also got mad because in the time he was out I package up some things I was sending on eBay which I did sat on the sofa. He said if I was fit enough to do that I was fit enough to do other things and there was not need for me to go and lie down.

I am at the end of my teather and just want to leave. I have no money, I only work 5 hours a week due to my disability. My mum and dad won’t have me. We are also tied to the house with a morgage. He had said if I go I will be an unfit parent due to my disability. I am so trapped

OP posts:
Blackberry10 · 28/10/2018 07:37

Also would like to add when he did his shoulder in he did nothing for two weeks and was waited on hand and foot by me

OP posts:
ProfessorMoody · 28/10/2018 07:40

Firstly, you won't be an unfit parent due to disability. Plenty of us disabled people have children without the help of a man-child.

Secondly, you need to make him leave. He actually rips his own clothes in two? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

If he leaves, don't worry about money. You'll have help with benefits and child maintenance. He'll still have to pay his half of the mortgage too.

Contact some agencies now, to start the ball rolling. Honestly, there's plenty of help out there for you.

Why won't your mum and dad help?

lauryloo · 28/10/2018 07:45

He sounds horrible OP. You can't live like that forever x

Blackberry10 · 28/10/2018 07:45

It not that they won’t its just they are getting old and wouldnt he able to have DS all of the time

OP posts:
ProfessorMoody · 28/10/2018 08:15

Why would they need to have your DS all of the time?

MrTrebus · 28/10/2018 08:38

Sounds like you're making excuses. Get your ducks in a row, you'll definitely be eligible for council housing I would have thought and various more benefits. Leave the mortgage to him and get divorce on the way and get some money from the house sale. I honestly wonder where these horrible men come from he sounds disgusting.

BrightLightsAndSound · 28/10/2018 08:46

He rips his own tshirt???? WTF!

Blackberry10 · 28/10/2018 09:10

It’s an interest only morgage so not much money from sale. Glad to say we are not in negative equity but would only end up with a few thousand

OP posts:
Blackberry10 · 28/10/2018 09:11

I meant if I went to live with them. They couldn’t cope with DS there all the time. He is a bundle of energy so would tire them out

OP posts:
MrTrebus · 28/10/2018 10:38

Excuses excuses excuses. Clearly you haven't reached the point yet where you really want to leave but you should get to that point soon for the sake of your DS

RedFallLeaf · 28/10/2018 14:15

Try watching this, see how it resonates and what you might be able to do. I wish you peace x

New posts on this thread. Refresh page