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Social media and being body confident

12 replies

Gizzygizmo · 28/10/2018 07:32

Can women really feel confident about their own body when social media is full of what the perfect body should be?

I know it’s down to your own mind set, and what we think of our own body. But myself I can’t help scrolling through Instagram and Facebook feeling deflated.
I have noticed a decline in my own body confidence.
Maybe I should delete Facebook and Instagram Grin

OP posts:
guinnessguzzler · 28/10/2018 07:48

Just unfollow, block or delete things that make you feel bad. It is absolutely a frame of mind and you need to keep challenging your own negative thoughts (or others comments, although I hope you are not receiving these). I look back on photos where I had a 'great' body and I know I am much happier now, not least because I still thought it wasn't enough then whereas now I know my body does what I need it to do, to facilitate my life, and is broadly healthy, and that's what I need it for. There is always a tighter tum / bigger bust / whatever. What matters for me is: am I a more or less decent human? Do I make the world marginally better or at least limit the damage I cause being in it (environmentally speaking predominantly)?, do I experience joy and love and bring it to those around me? I just don't care about the rest anymore. To be honest, it did take conscious effort for a while but now it comes naturally.

What really matters to you?

silkpyjamasallday · 28/10/2018 07:59

Comparison is the thief of joy, if you spend hours idolising people online who are showing a highlight reel, you will become dissatisfied with your own inevitably less glossy reality.

I know a few very successful Instagram 'influencers'/models in real life and believe me they do not look even 50% as good as their Instagram accounts would have you believe, their abs are not always visible, their faces get puffy, they have spots, they only look like that in one very unnatural pose etc etc. They openly admit they only post the best pictures and spend literally hours getting the shot that ends up on Instagram looking like a spur of the moment selfie, it's their job. But it skews our perception because it isn't our job, we don't use our own social media like they do but we somehow feel we have to be like them to be worthy? Having a good body is far less valuable than being a nice person, but the world tells us the opposite.

I stopped following anything remotely to do with shallow showing off, as I recognised the negative impact it was having on my self esteem and now only follow stuff that actually improves how I feel or that I am actually interested in. Jameela Jamils 'I weigh' campaign and account is great, pushing the idea that we are more than our physical attributes might be one to follow to turn the tide.

MissusLuciferMorningstar · 28/10/2018 08:00

Exactly what @guinnessguzzler said. Really sound advice. I simply just don't use any pictorial social media, and concentrate on real life. Be YOU and know that social media is rarely reflective of real life.

Cookit · 28/10/2018 08:03

This is so true @silkpyjamasallday

I saw a reality star in a shop the other day and it made me feel so good for the next few days because she just seemed actually so NORMAL. She is a beautiful woman but normal beautiful if you see what I mean, whereas the impression you get online of course is of something just far beyond.

CarlGrimesMissingEye · 28/10/2018 08:04

Once you get your head around how every picture is curated, edited, retaken and tinkered with to the nth degree to get the shot that's posted then you realise that it's all bollocks.

For example, I watched a great shirt video clip of an instagrammer. She was in position to take her photo. Snapped it. Then relaxed. As she relaxed her stomach stopped being taught and flat and rolled like everyone else's.

I am confident in my body despite all it's imperfections. But finding your way through the barrage of messages telling you you shouldn't be is hard!

Biologifemini · 28/10/2018 08:07

Agree. And I’d add. Don’t encourage your daughters to do the same. It’s a quick route to mental health problems even if you look perfect.

MaggieAndHopey · 28/10/2018 08:08

I think you need to change your social media feed. I don't see any pictures or messages like this on instagram because I don't follow those sorts of accounts.

shearwater · 28/10/2018 08:10

Follow different people. My social media is much more warts and all.

OneforsorrowTwoforJoyce · 28/10/2018 08:12

Great post guinessguzzler

spinningworld · 28/10/2018 08:13

You have to remember a lot of it isn't 'real'.

They are busting their back literally to get into a pose, filters, good lighting, etc etc

When they take their make up off at night they look like the rest of us. They have rolls of belly fat, they have cellulite....they just know how to make it look good for the camera.

Yes some women may have tens of thousands of followers and in my opinion it's quite sad that they can only feel happy in life
when they have all these followers gushing over them. It's just a fake Instagram or FB family.

Spookytoast · 28/10/2018 08:39

I agree OP. I follow lots of fitness type accounts as I’m trying to get in shape for my wedding but I know that I will never look like any of these perfectly toned, perfectly tanned and even skinned women with fabulous gym wardrobes.

‘Strong is the new skinny’ is a social media phenomenon that’s getting my goat at the moment - these women are strong AND skinny! It’s just another dimension of pressure being added to women to look a certain way - now instead of being slim you have to be slim and have abs.

I think I’d find it very difficult being a teenager nowadays.

Underpressureidiot · 28/10/2018 08:49

My Instagram feed is full of people who look like me - I’ve sought out mid size fashion people who live a more realistic life. Social media is what you make of it.

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