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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For us not to force dc to read.

26 replies

JustAskingForAFriend · 28/10/2018 00:42

So dps daughter is with us with a strict instruction ' yelled out' by her mum at the door on collection to 'make sure you read'
When she got back here we said about reading and she seems really off about doing so. She's normally really keen to read.
We said to leave it until today but do her other homework last night.
Again today. Not too keen on reading.. I will add she's 2 years ahead in reading for her age so not like she's always slacked.
We asked her why she didn't want to, wa sit a tricky book. A boring book, a book she's read.
She just said she didn't want to and she hasn't read all week (1/2 term) at Mummys.
We managed to get her to read 8 pages. And said that was all. We wouldn't force her to do it. As don't want her rebelling but also want to encourage her.

Now we've text her mum to say about it, however she's done all her other homework. and she's gone mad saying don't let her get away with it. MAKE her READ.

We don't want to force her and her rebell as I said. But thinking an odd time isn't going to harm her. But obviously would keep and eye. If not contact the school and speak to them about it.

For the record she is normally really enthusiastic, isn't coming across as there being anything bothering her etc. Think it's just a case of she's not in the mood to.
She's 7

OP posts:
FissionChips · 28/10/2018 00:45

Reading should be an enjoyable activity, forcing it seems a sure fire way to quash any love for books.

Jlynhope · 28/10/2018 00:47

She needs to do her reading. Follow her mom's instructions.

WorraLiberty · 28/10/2018 00:47

I feel like I've missed something despite reading the OP twice

You've already forced her to read eight pages

What is the problem exactly?

DelphiniumBlue · 28/10/2018 00:48

Maybe read to her?

Original poster
JustAskingForAFriend · 28/10/2018 00:51

Sorry should of said clearer, not to force the whole book.

OP posts:
Original poster
JustAskingForAFriend · 28/10/2018 00:52

We do read to her aswell at bedtime, we read all as a family with my DS and our dd.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 28/10/2018 00:53

Schools push too hard. We never had homework when I was 7 - and I can read! Even dgs5 has homework!

WorraLiberty · 28/10/2018 00:53

I don't think anyone here would advise you to force her to read the whole book.

I'm sensing a bit of antagonism between you and her Mum.

Is there a history?

FissionChips · 28/10/2018 00:53

Why force any of the book? She’s 2 years ahead ! Wtf is the point in pushing her when she needs/ is wanting a break?

Jlynhope · 28/10/2018 00:56

Ok so she was expected to read the whole book this weekend? That seems crazy.

Jlynhope · 28/10/2018 00:56

How big is this book?

AviatorShades · 28/10/2018 00:58

She's already read eight pages! I reckon that's enough,OP.
Ds showed a marked reluctance to do his set reading. And then I bought him Spike Milligan's silly verses for kids(or something like that). DS laughed and laughed and laughed and by the end of the hols knew them all off by heart. He got hooked on humourGrin
See if you can find something she'd actually want to read? I remember that DS's school readers were so damned boring.

AirandMungBeans · 28/10/2018 01:02

Why not take her to the library tomorrow so that she can find something she'd like to read. I can't see how her mum would complain about that, plus it's good for kids to visit the library and try out all sorts of books.

moredoll · 28/10/2018 01:03

Agree with pp. If she doesn't want to read, you read to her and ask questions. You know the kind of thing, "who's your favourite character?", "why?", "what do you think could happen next?".
Also, maybe find out is she's being teased at school because of her reading.
But it could be she just doesn't like that particular book. Fair enough.

Blondebakingmumma · 28/10/2018 01:13

I agree with a previous poster. Take her to a library. Let her choose a book she would like to read. I’m sure it really doesn’t matter if she is reading a different book to the one she was sent with. Reading should be about enjoyment

agnurse · 28/10/2018 01:19

Can you find her a different book to read? Something she would enjoy more?

I can't speak to how you feel but I know for myself that I personally don't care if my kid is reading comic books, as long as she's reading SOMETHING. (Fortunately this has never been an issue. When my kid was in Grade 7 she was reading at a university level.)

Italiangreyhound · 28/10/2018 01:20

Sounds like her mum is going to end up making her hate reading.

I'd not get involved, it's between her mum and her dad.

But I'd say that forcing her to do this is likely to kill off any natural interest in reading! Sad

Original poster
JustAskingForAFriend · 28/10/2018 01:22

A bit of history with her mum not picking and trying to find fault. So just wanted to make sure she can't iyswim. Dp said he will text her again tomorrow explaining she's read 8 pages and done her other homework.
She said when it's school term mummy says she has to read a whole Book every day.
No library open on a Sunday here. She has lots of new books she got recently that she wanted and we do the library when it's open on a Saturday, prob about once a month.
I never forced my dc to read that much. I encouraged it, but we all have days where we just don't feel like doing g something I guess. He's doing well in his education.

OP posts:
Original poster
JustAskingForAFriend · 28/10/2018 01:24

I remember my DS went through a stage of reading newspapers at about 8 ( well what he could read of them) looks quite funny sat on a bus reading a ' metro' that was on there. To me he was reading either way.

OP posts:
Original poster
JustAskingForAFriend · 28/10/2018 01:25

'nit picking'

OP posts:
AnnieAnoniMouse · 28/10/2018 01:29

jlynnope. Are you the Mom?

If not, I can’t see how you can possibly know what’s she needs.

Her Mum isn’t the only parent in her life.

Just. You’re not there to do her mother’s bidding. Do what you think is right for DSD. She’s 7, reading two years above her age. Forcing her to read is the surest way to sap any joy out of reading and that can do irreparable damage to her love of reading, for life.

How long is she with you for?

If she’s there a few days could you casually ask her to read to the younger ones when you’re ‘busy’? Ask her what’s happened in the book so far? If it’s a good book? Etc. Just talk to her, but as subtly as you can, with no pressure to read.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 28/10/2018 01:34

Dp said he will text her again tomorrow explaining she's read 8 pages and done her other homework

Don’t. She’s not his boss. DSD is HIS daughter too. She doesn’t get to make the rules in YOUR house. If this carries on, he’s really going to have to talk to her about HER rules making DSD not want to read & the damage that causes.

Original poster
JustAskingForAFriend · 28/10/2018 01:35

She's with us weekends. I think it's just an off day(s) for her.
I know forcing her to do a whole book is not right. And I don't want her to stop enjoying reading.
She had other choices of books but wasn't fussed.. Maybe still in holiday mode.
But some of it is I know it will cause a stupid 'hoo-ha' with her mum. As she's controlling like that.
But pp is right there's two parents and dp can also decide what's best for her.

OP posts:
stopitandtidyupp · 28/10/2018 04:36

Agree don't text her.

Use it so the mother learns some boundaries. It's not as if the girl is behind and she has read. The Mother sounds like the worst pushy parent. A book a day!!  Forced at that.

Jessicabrassica · 28/10/2018 06:45

How big are the books? If she's 2 years ahead then surely we're talking about stuff like Harry Potter, vashti Hardy. I can read one of those in a day but it'll take a couple of hours. I'd not expect a 7yp to read for that long. My kids are readers and my 7yo would read a tree house book in one sitting but not much else - and reading like that means not eating meals, not getting dressed etc.

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