Failing at this toddler malarkey

[Moominfan]

Usual routine out in the morning for a toddler group, then in the afternoon we go for a toddle. Now he sits on floor doesn't want to toddle. I struggle to interact with him at home. I hate mess which is why we always go out. But now I need to think of some more indoor stuff to do. We read, play with jigsaws, he helps me clean. Just feel like a naff mum cause I can't cope with painting, baking all that fun stuff toddlers love. i really wish I could get over my need for the place to be clean. I've got a mate that makes elephants out of bottles with hers. I just wish I had that crafty knack but it's just not me.

It’s only messy til it’s cleaned up. Baking doesn’t need to create a lot of chaos if you do something simple like biscuits.

Mostly though, don’t beat yourself up. It sounds like you’re doing fine! Is he going to go to nursery? If so they’ll do loads of messy / crafty stuff with him.

There are loads of easy crafts things on Pinterest that are not too messy. I will post a photo of DD’s and I latest creations below.

If your need for everything to be tidy is affecting your ability to parent then maybe you need to seek help.

After my DD dropped her nap I got over excited with being able to go out to places all day and one day she said ‘I want to stay and play in DD’s house. Sometimes they just want to be at home.

Magic pictures - just water to "paint a picture". Crayons and paper. Bubbles. Musical toys (no mess, loads of fun).

Leave messy stuff for nursery, I wouldn't bother with baking with little toddlers anyway.

Drawing, crayons, playdoh - all low mess.

Mostly at that age they just want to play though, no need to do 'activities'.

DD is in nursery and does the messy and distructive stuff there. We read loads of books and play with her toys - I don't think you're failing at all x

And we got a magic mat thing so she can draw but not make a mess...

Here www.argos.co.uk/product/3495533

I would tackle your OCD firstly then you won't feel this guilt around it. then you can play however you like at home and won't have this issue around mess.

Meh I get you op, I'm rubbish at home too, toddler group in the morning, out and about or to friends in the afternoon.

I have no idea how to entertain at home, I'm not crafty, can't bake to save my life...no advise really I guess, just letting you know you aren't the only mum who feels this way!

It's so hard as it gets colder to entertain them isn't it?
I have been bored stuff and cold today. Just me, DD and her sylvanian house.
In the end o took her to a garden centre and she had a blast looking at the Halloween and Xmas displays, also the pets then to the cafe for a carton of juice.
I feel your pain though, the library's quite good too :)

Same except that I can’t be arsed to go to groups (also I work part time and on my days off I have housework to do so time is scarce). We go for a toddle at some point but mostly it is indoor play for us. I’m missing the crafting gene so we play with cars, draw, read books and he helps me around the house. Currently he’s very keen on making his own food so a lot of the time is spent buttering bread, making porridge and cleaning up (he’s almost 2). 😂

How about dancing to music, singing together, playing music with home-made drum (tin with dried peas), reading stories, playing at dinosaurs?

Relieved to know I'm not the only one :) the thought of him with paints is the stuff of my nightmares. Luckily he is at nursery a few days

I think we need some kind of anti mum group, where we can share our tragic attempts at toddler entertainment, you know, like sharing pictures of beautiful bakes and crafts, but instead its pictures of your toddler emptying your purse for the billionth time or banging a stick against the hoover (just my day then?!)

Afternoon baths are great fun!

Me too! Not a fan of messy crafts and I find it very hard to do make-believe play for longer than 10mins. But I think mum's should give themselves a break: no one is perfect, we're all different and that's what is great. I go swimming and we dance & sing because that's more my thing. There will be other mums looking at you thinking "I wish I was more outdoorsy like Moominfan"

Great idea! Can we do a tally of how often they shout "NO!"

OP I'm the same!!

You can put paint into ziplock bags and tape them to French doors (if you have any) so your toddler can draw in the paint with their finger but there's no mess!! If you put a squirt of two colours, one at either corner, you can teach them about how new colours are made in the process!

Have a look at little Brian paint sticks for no-mess painting.

How far does the no mess thing go? Are there enough toys to keep him entertained? I only ask because crafty stuff and baking seem to make far less mess in my house than the general littering of toys across the floor and the accumulation of stuff. If you’ve got lot of toys, you might be surprised by how little mess something like baking might make in comparison.

You hate mess yet had a child? Logic for you.

Get over yourself OP. You need to before your desire for a 'clean and tidy' home damages your relationship with your child, because you will be 'that mum' and also their development when it comes to crafts and imagination.

Also getting a toddler to help clean is a novelty like loading the washing machine or running the hoover hose around like a little drunk person. I hope you're not actually trying to get him to genuinely 'clean'.

Totally with you, not so much with the mess but I find toddlers in general really hard going. I much prefer my 4 year old

Daytime baths with toys
Indoor picnics for lunch
Rotate toys so they're always new and exciting. Bonus of this is there's less lying around the house.
Pre-make some biscuit dough so you can just cut out together, or just decorate pre made ones
Play doh?
Chalks on the patio

I’m not a huge fan of mess either. I do find crayons, playdoh and stickers to be pretty low mess. We do ‘pretend baking’ in her toy kitchen and she sits with me whilst I’m cooking and I give her a plastic beaker with some water in and a toy whisk so she can ‘cook’ with me.

There’s lots of good in the house games to play without mess. We make Lego houses and cars, play with her train set, read books and play silly games... a favourite is ‘guess the animal’ where you take it in turns to do an animal impression and the other guesses. Dancing always popular too.

P.s I also find having a toddler and keeping her entertained really hard going, and I work full time so only do it on the weekend. I also always feel guilty that I’m not fun enough or interested enough in playing with her and often have to push myself to do it.

I feel you. I would desperate love to be artsy/crafty and have beat myself up in the past for not being so. I'm totally just crap at it. No imagination or ideas for it. I love cooking but not baking and find it all fiddly and faffy. But like one of the posters up top said - I'm really outdoorsy with my 2. Parks, train adventures, mazes, farms, stables, soft plays, children's centre groups, church groups, friends Houses. I'll get them out in rain and cold wintery weather (wrapped up snug of course) and they now get quite tetchy being indoors. They're so used to outdoors. I'm an introvert so getting out and about wasn't easy to start with but we've all thrived from it and i know I'm rubbish at 'indoors' so I've played up to my strengths rather than beat myself up for my weaknesses. I would just suggest you do the same and to be fair it sounds like you're doing a good job entertaining your little one. Don't try to be something you're not. If you're not artsy and paintsy and all Mary Berry - don't try to be. So long as you're doing something for the benefit of your children you can't be everything! Give yourself a break and pat yourself on the back for what you are doing. Leave the fancy stuff you're no expert at to school/nursery. Lot of pressure now on social media where everyone seems to be posting pics of themselves and their chocolatey faced toddler making some super duper cup cakes. It's got to be a one off for them to see it fit to post!

• You hate mess yet had a child? Logic for you.

Get over yourself OP. You need to before your desire for a 'clean and tidy' home damages your relationship with your child, because you will be 'that mum' and also their development when it comes to crafts and imagination.

Also getting a toddler to help clean is a novelty like loading the washing machine or running the hoover hose around like a little drunk person. I hope you're not actually trying to get him to genuinely 'clean'.*

I wonder if people talk to others like this in real life

Agree everyone has their own strengths.

Indoor things which aren't messy but can be fun:

Ball pit balls in a playpen or paddling pool or tent
Blocks/duplo - making towers to knock down, building different things
Brio (or cheap wooden) train tracks - build complicated layouts
Toddler disco - cheap disco ball online + your own music
Play hide and seek with toys e.g. teddies or a set of plastic fruit

Then if you want some "cheat" crafts:

Google "cut and paste _" with whatever theme you like. It's colouring and then cut/stick. Or use junk mail and order sheets of cheap stickers online to make pictures. Pritt stick is non messy and you can just hoover up the excess paper.
Buy mini cheese + tomato pizza, chop some toppings and let him put them on

I think letting them do housework with you is great BTW. It is fun for them, it's cute watching them do adult stuff, it gets them in the mindset to do it when they are older, it counts as interaction and the housework gets done.

Letting him loose with toys that make horrible sounds and lights is also fine. It's good for him to entertain himself sometimes. Other good toys for this age are a shape sorter, stacking rings set, stacking cups. If he won't play alone, try sitting near him watching with a cup of tea. Gives you a rest at least. Then over time you can "just pop to the loo" or "just get this washing out" and slowly increase his periods of playing alone.