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AIBU?

. . . to want to tell DH he needs to get his act together?

2 replies

ChangedNameForAMo · 27/10/2018 13:58

We're in our late thirties, married for a year, together for three and a half. DH is piling on the pounds but, I think, in total denial about it. I'm worried because his family is prone to obesity and resulting health problems.

I love and adore him, but I'm also starting to feel uneasy because, apart from being very overweight now, he's letting himself go in other ways too - he doesn't seem to perform basic hygiene tasks like trimming his nose hairs; he sneezes into the air instead of into a tissue, his breath is often bad, and he doesn't seem to care about how he looks at all. He never wears clothes that are appropriate for the occasion - like, if we arrange to meet for dinner, he'll turn up in a crappy, scruffy t-shirt and dirty shoes, whereas I'll be looking forward to a fun, flirty evening and will have dressed up a little.

I know I'm probably going to get flamed but health worries really are my primary concern. I've tried the subtle approach - when it's my turn to cook, I make healthy meals etc. but we spend big chunks of time apart so I don't have much influence.

Also, I'm struggling a little with attraction . . . and this is where I expect to be bollocked Blush

How do I talk to him? I've tried the "oh I'm on a health kick, want to join me?" and "here, mints were buy one get one free, have a packet" and I've even gently joked about his nose hairs (so he did trim them once after a little bit of wounded sulking). I just want him to be proud of himself and make a bit more of an effort . . . I realise that a relationship "settles" and things aren't as heady as they were at the start, but I think this goes further than just getting "comfortable" Sad

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MrsPerfect12 · 27/10/2018 14:11

NYANBU I’d feel exactly the same and would be annoyed if scruffy for dinner etc. Personal hygiene or lack there of is disgusting, fair enough breath due to eating spicy food but otherwise that’s vile.
I’d just tell him, no point flowering it up. X

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ChangedNameForAMo · 27/10/2018 14:35

I don't want to hurt him, though. He doesn't respond well to perceived criticism; he gets very quiet and sad. This will be a touchy subject too, because deep down, I think he knows . . . he can't not see the size of his belly Sad

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