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AIBU?

To stop daytime breastfeeds for one year old DS?

23 replies

ethelfleda · 27/10/2018 13:37

Ok so I do know that I’m not BU but I have mixed feelings about this!
I feel so so drained. I can’t figure out if it’s because of the amount of milk I’m making and the extra calories I need or low iron or both. Taking iron seems to make DS constipated via breastmilk.
Also, he is starting nursery 2 days a week now and I while I have been expressing milk for him to take, I really feel like I don’t want to carry on doing this for much longer so I am considering cutting out his day feeds - at least between say half 8 and half 5! Did anyone else ‘force’ this with their babies or did they naturally start dropping feeds at this age? I haven’t felt this drained since I was pregnant!
I don’t want to stop completely as DS still feeds during the night, especially when teething and it seems to be he best thing to help him go back to sleep at night and for us all to get a decent amount of sleep each night!
Thanks.

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DrunkenUnicorn · 27/10/2018 13:43

Of course it’s completely fine if you want to stop or cut down a bit in the day.

If you want to cut out the expressing and sending it to nursery then he’ll be fine. You could cut out when he’s not with you but carry on when you’re at home?

What about just breastfeeding before nap time?

I cut down to just before sleep/upon waking at around 18m as he was driving me up the wall. Kept the feeds before sleeps as it helped settle him and send him off. I kept up the first thing in the morning feed as I’m lazy and meant I could doze! Wink

He will be fine whatever you decide to do Flowers

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PrincessHairyMclary · 27/10/2018 13:48

Older babies tend to get their breastfeeding quota in whenever you feed them, a good excuse to sit down with your feet up after work.

There's no hard and fast rules to cutting down and your DC will adapt and as you introduce more solid foods they naturally cut down although don't underestimate their need to suckle for comfort particularly during big changes and periods of teething.

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ethelfleda · 27/10/2018 13:53

Thanks for the replies

I agree with the comfort thing which is why I don’t want to stop altogether just yet - also want to keep feeding through all the inevitable bugs he will pick up at nursery etc

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teaandbiscuitsforme · 27/10/2018 13:57

Don't force anything. Feed during the day if he asks when he's with you (don't offer but don't refuse) until he's settled into nursery and then stop feeding during the day if you want to. I don't think you need to worry about expressed milk, he'll be fine with food and water/cows milk until he's call with you.

My DD did 2 days from 12mo. I never sent milk with her and she fed as normal on the days I was with her. She then gradually stopped during the day.

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NationalShiteDay · 27/10/2018 13:59

I think your plan is fine. I only did morning and night time feeds from 1yo. They had cows milk during the day from a bottle.

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Feb2018mumma · 27/10/2018 14:01

My little man is 8 months and I am so done, forcing myself to breastfeed him, wish he was 12 months so I could swap to cow's milk! Do whatever makes you happy, I definitely understand the feelings you have though!

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ethelfleda · 27/10/2018 14:20

don't offer but don't refuse) until he's settled into nursery

I actually agree with this - thank you!

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overagain · 27/10/2018 14:41

We did don't offer/ don't refuse. If you cut the day feeds you may find he reverse cycles, so wakes more at night to feed.

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ethelfleda · 27/10/2018 20:18

Thanks overagain
He already has 3-4 feeds at night so don’t want that increasing!!

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Thehop · 27/10/2018 20:26

I’m still trying to cut my 2 year old down so watching with interest.

Do nursery have any joy giving him cows milk?

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ForgivenessIsDivine · 27/10/2018 20:26

I would think about cutting out night feeds... not easy I know! !

And Spatone liquid iron supplements might help you without making him constipated.

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Dreamingofkfc · 27/10/2018 20:28

I didn't express for my second when he went to nursery - he was 13 months. He was absolutely fine and if we were out he wouldnt really want to feed off me but if we were at home it was a different story! He'd be hanging off me! My first stopped at 16months by himself, my second I stopped at two years.

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Gizzygizmo · 27/10/2018 20:31

Oh I wish I had the answer Grin

My little boy is 10 months and still feeds so frequently, but it’s not the frequency I’ve just about had it with the scratching, pinching, sticking his fingers up my nose and in my mouth, kicking and flipping around like a fish out of water 😒 seriously I would give up tomorrow if I could

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Bluetrews25 · 27/10/2018 21:30

I stopped at 12 months, it felt right.
Doing 3 or 4 feeds a night must be exhausting! (I could not do it!) The more you do, the more they want. I've been there (the occasional feed became every night, then one became two, then I woke up to what I was doing, rewarding waking with a feed because it was the easy way to settle the DC.) DCs can learn to settle without a feed and you can all get a better sleep as a result. But I know this thinking is frowned on by many these days.
Sleep training can be your friend. You will all feel more rested, and the DCs will get the calories they need during the day. The later you leave it, the harder it is to do.
If you want to stop, then I'd say just do it! There really will not be any long term psychological damage, honestly.

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ethelfleda · 27/10/2018 21:33

Thanks Blue but I don’t have a problem with night feeds - especially when he is teething. He sleeps in my bed so I feel I get enough rest and I’m definitely not the type of person who could do sleep training Blush haven’t got the backbone!

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BarbarianMum · 27/10/2018 21:34

3-4 night feeds? Poor you, you must be on your knees. Sad

I know it's not what you asked but if you wanted to cut these down a bit too, it might help you.

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serenmoon · 27/10/2018 21:35

My one years old just feeds when they wake up and before bed. They’re fine in the day now with water or cows milk and don’t ask for it. If you do want to cut down you maybe should do it by dropping one feed at a time though so your body can adjust and you don’t get blocked ducts or mastitis.

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BarbarianMum · 27/10/2018 21:35

Oh sorry. X post.

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overagain · 27/10/2018 21:40

I didn't express for nursery. He was 12 months when he went and was fine with food and water (he wouldn't drink cows milk).

Personally, I'd stop expressing and on non-nursery days I'd go don't offer don't refuse, including at night. We did this and continued feeding until 2 (when I stopped it).

I did night wean at 14 months but had awful nursing aversion which was worse at night so needed to for my sanity and sleep. We used the jay Gordon gentle method and daddy did all the hardwork! (I slept elsewhere for 3 nights). Three nights and it was done, we still co slept but he'd alternate each night between me and DH. Might be something to consider if you ever do want to nightwean.

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MissMooMoo · 27/10/2018 23:10

My ds is 17 months and I don't offer but if he asks I usually say yes.
He has had a cold this week and done a lot of BFing during the day. For a while we was only having a feed before bed and upon waking in the morning.
I would start with not expressing for nursery and go from there if stopping is what you decide to do.

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MissMooMoo · 27/10/2018 23:11

That should say he was not we was

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ethelfleda · 28/10/2018 20:38

Can my baby read and knows my MN password?? Because he is currently on a nursing strike Hmm

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ForgivenessIsDivine · 29/10/2018 10:50

How did the night go if he was on nursing strike all day?

BTW, I am often surprised that by discussing solutions 'out loud', the problem sometimes solves itself!! (Though saying that we did spend years battling sleep and then bed wetting so not always by any stretch of the imagination!!

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