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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed “D”H has bailed on me!!

30 replies

MrsPerfect12 · 27/10/2018 13:35

Our friends big birthday party is tonight it has been booked and has been on our Calendar since the start of the year. I’ve bought a new outfit all ready to go and was really looking forward to it.
DH said on wed or Thursday night he was going out with the boys for drinks Friday and you’ve guessed it not only is he now lying on the sofa hungover as hell he has hurt his eye (his friend poked it by accident) and now got appt to have it looked at this afternoon.
No way will he come tonight now.
I don’t know my friends mutual friends at all so I feel really let down.
I never moan about boys nights out but I think he could of arrange this so it didn’t conflict on our 8 month plans! He can never manage 2 nights out in a row. I knew this would happen and I’m livid!! Always the bottom of the bloody scrap heap! This would be our second night out this year so not like we get out often as a couple.

OP posts:
IABURQO · 27/10/2018 13:41

He's being a knob. Tell him to take some paracetamol and drink a pint of water with 2 vitamin C tablets in it. Then have some toast or whatever he fancies carb-wise and a good strong coffee. Then he needs to put his big boy pants on and come out with you for the night because it's only your second night out together this year.

Longdistance · 27/10/2018 13:41

Well, he can drive then, can’t he? No need for transport.

HollowTalk · 27/10/2018 13:42

He's pretty pathetic if he can't go with you just because he had a night out last night. Tell him to pull himself together!

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 27/10/2018 13:45

Even if he doesn't come, you know your friend. They can introduce you to people and you can wander around and enjoy yourself. Then rethink if his selfishness is a one-off or whenever it's something for you being impacted?

Broken11Girl · 27/10/2018 13:49

Ah it's only 1.45pm, surely there are several hours yet for his hangover to lift. Painkillers, LOTS of fluid, sugar, caffeine, carbs. HOT bath or shower when getting ready. He would be pretty shit not to go imo.

MixedMaritalArts · 27/10/2018 13:53

Go without him if he's not up to it!

Balaboosteh · 27/10/2018 13:56

This is why I’m polymorous. Plenty of options when it comes to plus-ones. Joking. I think he’s let you down OP.

Leeds2 · 27/10/2018 14:11

There is plenty of time for him to recover. I certainly wouldn't look kindly on him if he pulled out now. But, if he does, make sure you go by yourself looking a million dollars and have a great time.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 27/10/2018 14:13

Tchuh, I'd make him go!

Years ago, DH went out on his works night out on a Friday - promised not to get too hammered but totally did - and we were due to go to Proms in the Park the next day, with our 10mo DS. He wanted to back out of it but I wouldn't have it - made him go and made him stay til the end with the fireworks.

Original poster
MrsPerfect12 · 27/10/2018 14:13

I’ve had a melt down and shouted a lot. He’s at the opticians now hopefully feeling bad. I feel better it’s off my chest :)

OP posts:
puzzledlady · 27/10/2018 14:14

I would make him go. Angry

Ngaio2 · 27/10/2018 14:16

Demand a compensatory outing while you have the moral high ground and he is feeling low

Zoflorabore · 27/10/2018 14:16

Get him. McDonald's, send him for a shower, couple of painkillers and he will be right as rain.

Selfish git.

BlueBug45 · 27/10/2018 14:19

Get him, a McDonald's?

Only if you want to kill him. Fry ups are better but anything carby is fine.

Ifoundanacorn · 27/10/2018 14:20

I would insist he went for at least one drinks, and once he has done that he can pick you up at the end.

Hungover or not, I would not allow him to let a friend down like this. He will then learn that once committed he needs to be there. Remind him how much trouble/time and money people go to for parties like this.

PattiStanger · 27/10/2018 14:25

Get him. McDonald's, send him for a shower, couple of painkillers and he will be right as rain

All my adult life I've wished my hangovers could be cured as easily as that, I barely drink now because a hangover for me, even if I don't drink loads, is a full day event.

Obviously I wouldn't get drunk knowing I was going out the following night but if for some reason it did happen, there's simply no way for me to shift a hangover, and believe me I've tried, maybe the DH is the same.

YANBU to be cross though

MrsJBaptiste · 27/10/2018 14:29

Yep, Mcdonalds then hair of the dog and he'll be fine Wink

WhateverHappenedToTheHeatwave · 27/10/2018 14:29

He needs to suck it up. I hope you have told him that he has disappointed you.

Sitranced · 27/10/2018 14:32

Leave him at home and enjoy the party with all your news friends.

Gabilan · 27/10/2018 14:33

Well, he can drive then, can’t he? No need for transport

Why would it be a good idea for someone who's just been to the opticians with an eye injury to drive? And then factor in the hangover. is he still over the legal limit? And even if he isn't, why would you operate a ton of machinery whilst you're sub-par and your reactions are slowed down? It might be convenient, but I really don't want someone like that on the roads.

ReanimatedSGB · 27/10/2018 14:39

Does he have form for messing up social events that are important to you, rather than to him?

BewareOfDragons · 27/10/2018 15:00

If he's never been able to do 2 nights in a row like this, then he shouldn't have gone out last night drinking with his friends.

But he did. So now he has to suck it up and take you out as calendared and committed ... he can be the designated driver if he feels off ... but it's completely unreasonable for him to bail on this stage because he's hung over.

thenightsky · 27/10/2018 15:02

If he can drag himself to the opticians it means he is capable of dragging himself out tonight. Tell him to man up.

Shoxfordian · 27/10/2018 15:24

Tell him to stop being pathetic and come with you

Original poster
MrsPerfect12 · 27/10/2018 15:43

TBF He wouldn’t normally let me down and he’s coming now. He knows he’s in the wrong and didn’t argue with me about it. He’s apologised.
I had to take him to get his eye looked at as yes he could be boarder line for driving. Thank you all for the support. X

OP posts:
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