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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you take a 3-4 day old baby to a pantomime?

270 replies

ThirdChildFourthPile · 27/10/2018 13:19

I booked panto tickets in December a few days before my due date. I went very overdue with the others so I thought this would be fine.
It's an amazing panto with west end cast in the Hilton hotel, we all love it and I really don't want to miss out.

However, I've found out that I need to be induced at 39 weeks.

I can get a refund that's not a problem. But I really really want to see this pantomime. The other option is to change the dates and go on the 28th December with a newborn baby.

If the worst comes to the worst I can take the baby out and even drive around with him while DH and the kids carried on watching the show.
But chances are I wouldn't need to. I mean my boobs are right there. And all the do is sleep.

My only concern is the germs. Am I stupid to consider it from a newborn health point of view?

OP posts:
needsanewname · 27/10/2018 19:10

Wayyy too loud for a newborn. I've just bought 3 month old DD ear defenders for Disneyworld for when we're at shows & fireworks. Maybe I'm being over the top, dunno.

Noise aside, I wouldn't go - would rather spend those first few days doing as little as humanly possible.

crimsonlake · 27/10/2018 19:11

You are putting your desire to go before your babies needs. I would not inflict it on other people for a start and because of the fear of germs from such huge crowds. Put your baby first and stay home, I cannot understand why you are considering it.

chrisinthesun · 27/10/2018 19:24

No way! My husband is a sound engineer and just said "that child's ears will be damaged!

EXACTLY! As I said earlier, they have microphones, and it's VERY loud.

It's very foolhardy to take a newborn to a panto. Full of 100's of people, loud screaming, loud music, loud cheering.

WTF are you thinking?!

Anyone who thinks it's OK to take a newborn to a panto needs to give their head a massive wobble.

serenmoon · 27/10/2018 19:30

I wouldn’t go because the noise would be too much for a tiny baby. Also the lighting can be very bright, it’s just too much stimulation for a babies nervous system.

Ochayethenoocoo · 27/10/2018 19:31

I would... no bother. At that age ds just fed and slept. I was moving fine..hardly any bleeding and I never had any pain from the 18 odd stitches I got. Never got the emotional thing either. I was happy and full of energy and took him everywhere as I had a 3 year old as well

Ochayethenoocoo · 27/10/2018 19:31

Ooh and you'll be feeding so likely to be a healthy wee thing. Neither of mine caught a cold or bug until I stopped feeding them as toddlers.

anniehm · 27/10/2018 19:38

Yes, assuming a normal birth without too many stitches it's perfectly feasible (it's hardly a quiet environment!) I was in Asda 16 hours after giving birth, didn't need to rest.

In other countries women return to work immediately with their babies strapped to them, not suggesting this is good but it puts our first world dilemmas into perspective. You probably though need a plan b as not all births go to plan

Bingolingo · 27/10/2018 19:41

I took my two week old to an opera family concert, her older sister was singing in it as part of her school choir. Baby slept through the whole thing and we had a really lovely day.

I couldn’t have done that with said older sister, she would have screamed the place down.

I was walking the school run at 4 days pp with the youngest, but it was painful and I had to cling onto the pram for dear life; I had a fast normal delivery.

Just play it by ear, see how you feel, see how the baby is.

needsanewname · 27/10/2018 19:43

I think going out to the pub, for a walk, back to work is completely different to a pantomime where there's shouting, singing, pyrotechnics, stage lights etc.!

Poor thing would be getting startled every 2 minutes.

chrisinthesun · 27/10/2018 19:45

@anniehm

Sod how the fucking birth went, and how you were doing your weekly shop in ASDA the next day! What about the health and welfare of the baby?!

Jesus wept!

anniehm

In other countries women return to work immediately with their babies strapped to them.

First of all, we do a LOT of things differently in the western world to what other countries do, secondly, did you just make that up? And thirdly, the OP is not thinking of taking the new born baby to work, she is thinking of taking it to a noisy panto with 100's of people screaming and yelling, and VERY loud acoustics, potentially damaging its ears.

Utterly fucking ridiculous to take a newborn baby to a panto.

I can't believe some of the posts I am reading here. This thread is batshit. And I am horrified to think some of you have children.

reallybadidea · 27/10/2018 20:25

Calm down chris Hmm

Absofrigginlootly · 27/10/2018 20:37

only read a bit of the thread but I don’t agree with all the posts saying “just don’t pass your baby around/let people lick them and you’ll be fine etc”

Measles for example, is so infectious that you only have to walk past someone to catch it and it can kill a newborn baby or leave them permanently disabled very easily.

No life doesn’t stop when you have a baby but the newborns needs so need to be taken into account somewhat I think! They really don’t have much in the way of an immune system for the first 6 weeks or so even if fully BF

I wouldn’t go

Bananacakes · 27/10/2018 20:46

I would go before you have the baby or as late as possible.
I just had a baby. I say just. It was not my first and 3 months ago. But it still feels like I just had her. I wouldn’t take her now. 6 months onwards maybe. I took Dd at 9 months.
I was induced. It took 3 days in hospital waiting before induction started. Then she had antibiotics as unexpectedly seemed a bit quiet and unresponsive (she was actually a bit early despite scans) we went home at 4 days then back in at 6 days with jaundice. It was really stressful. My previous baby was not induced and I was home in 4 hours fine.
You just have no idea how it will go.

AJPTaylor · 27/10/2018 20:46

I wouldn't go. I wouldn't take a new born. Baby surely wants to be on the sofa sleeping on mum.

Absofrigginlootly · 27/10/2018 20:46

Also I agree with those saying it would be an assault on the baby’s nervous system! But then I very much believe in the concept of the 4th trimester and believe that baby’s have very strong emotional needs for peaceful, calming environments and lots of skin to skin. Not noisy theatres full of 100s of people

SuperMumTum · 27/10/2018 20:47

I wouldn't go with such a young baby as it would clearly not be in the best interests of the baby and its hardly necessary. Maybe at 8 - 10 weeks when they're a bit more robust.

MrsLeBear · 27/10/2018 20:54

Ridiculous idea. The noise, flashing lights, crowds, germs - all these in the first few days of the baby’s life. Can you try and emphathise what it might be like for a tiny creature recovering from the shock of just being born? When I was at the hospital with my newborn, a midwife explained to me how alien the outside worlds feels to them, they’re overwhelmed by all new sensations like feeling air on their skin, bright lights, voices that seem loud in comparison to muted sounds in the womb. You’re crazy to even consider inflicting panto on them. You’re putting your whims ahead of your baby’s well being. Sorry if this sounds harsh but I’m utterly apalled by your selfish attitude.

BertrandRussell · 27/10/2018 20:55

Surely if it's that loud it's too loud for 3 year olds too?

Sparrowlegs248 · 27/10/2018 20:57

I wouldn't. Apart from.anything else, I was due to induced on the Monday, didn't happen til the Friday. Also, it can take aaaaages to get going. I also narrowly avoided an emcs, and had multiple stitches so wouldn't have been comfy sitting through a panto!

Bananacakes · 27/10/2018 20:59

@bertrandandrussell depends on the child. My ; yr old could not cope at all but many children do learn to tolerate noise. A newborn may not react but it’s far from ideal.

Absofrigginlootly · 27/10/2018 21:03

MrsLeBear agreed

Absofrigginlootly · 27/10/2018 21:07

But I feel like there’s always competitiveness on MN to treat childbirth like a knee graze (just shake it off and get on with it! Stop being precious!) and newborns like a sack of potatoes (pass them about like a pass the parcel, take them to the shops/theatre/football stadium at 4 days old! Stop being PFB!)

I actually find it quite sad Sad

tillytrotter1 · 27/10/2018 21:12

My only concern is the germs

My only concern is the disruption to the other 99.9% of the people there and no doubt if your baby cried and they looked annoyed you would be here claiming the maternal moral high ground.

WaxOnFeckOff · 27/10/2018 21:12

Absofrigginlootly

It's funny, I see it as exactly the opposite on here tbh. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle.

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 27/10/2018 21:20

I took 2 week old dd to the panto, she might have been 3 weeks

She was fine, didnt cry and if she did i would have taken her out (plus she would have had to compete with the other children)

BUT

I hadnt booked the tickets in advance, its only because mil bought an extra ticket. So i wouldnt have booked something like that as i agree with other posters that you dont know how well you will feel by the time it happens

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