to be panicking about breastfeeding?

[WaterWellies]

My little boy is a few days old. He was very small when he was born and struggled with regulating his blood sugar, and this combined with him having zero brown fat, meant we had to top him up with formula.

I'm on day 6 now and still only expressing colostrum. I've just expressed a good 50mls, but because baby is still so small, he's still having to have it out of a bottle.

I'm panicking that my milk hasn't come in properly yet and it's day 6 already. I'm also worried I won't be able to wean him off bottles and on to my boob (though he does latch on okay, and sucks for a minute or so until he realises nothing is coming out/gets too tired).

Does anyone have any advice for me? Really, really worried as would love him to be ebf...

Sorry haven’t read the full thread. I struggled to get breastfeeding going after my emergency section, what worked for me was pumping to get the colostrum flowing and then latching baby. That way he didn’t have to do the initial hard work with no reward.

Hang on in there, it’s often hard at first but once you and baby get the hang of it, it’s wonderful.

Has your baby been properly assessed for tongue tie by someone trained on it (ie a lactation consultant not a HV or midwife)?

Definitely go to breastfeeding drop-ins if you can. In my area there are nhs ones at children’s centres but also others run by breastfeeding charities and groups. My son’s TT was diagnosed at one of the latter.

Anyway, tongue tie or not, the groups are invaluable in the early days.

Lastly, I haven’t read it, but people often recommend the book “the womanly art of breastfeeding”.

Sounds like no harm done if he's got the hang of it (even if only from one side... though it's not that uncommon for babies to have a preference). FWIW, I had trouble telling colostrum from milk. Everyone talks about milk coming in and suddenly having boobs like beach balls but that really didn't happen for me (though the colour did change, from yellow to an almost blueish colour).

The teary eyed and tired go hand-in-hand... You are not useless. What actually matters most to your baby is being cuddled and loved, because whatever happens, he won't starve. Ultimately we have the good fortune to live in a society where you can get at safe formula if you need to. So while you may feel this visceral feeling of "I'm not providing him with the food he needs" (I remember feeling like that), actually, though the emotions are very, very real, in practical terms, you are not going to fail to feed him, even if the food ends up coming out of a bottle. (And in any case it sounds like you are getting the hang of BF together, even if it's hard work).

More and un-mumsnetty hugs. Hang on in there - you will get through this. And you're allowed to feel crap and upset and over-tired - that's part of the deal too. Some women are lucky enough to float through the early days in a loved up haze, for others it's a hell of a struggle (it certainly was for me). There's no right or wrong way - just luck of the draw.

If you are finding he is sucking for a short time then falling asleep try stripping him off so he's more alert and use a piece of damp cotton wool to wipe his body and blow on it to startle him (the cold air will do this) and he will wake and feed more. My LO struggled to stay alert enough to feed for first week or so and I went back to hosp for help
with feeding and this was shown to me by the paediatric doctor. It works!

Hope feeding goes well but if not you have tried and that's all you can do! He's had that magic colostrum which is the most important thing.

OP my DD fed better from one breast than the other, I found doing a rugby ball hold on the other boob helped.
It took me a good 3 weeks to get the hang of breastfeeding and my advice would be to just keep on trying to see what works. I remember ringing the La Leche League helpline and sobbing down the phone. They were lovely and helpful so just try and speak to someone in real life.
It is SO overwhelming but it sounds like you are doing really well.
Check out past threads on Infant feeding board and Kelly Mom is quite a good site x

Oh yes - I'd forgotten that. The "strip them down to a vest to keep them awake" trick.

Hi OP. Just to say I found the question of when my milk was ‘in’ really confusing - I was in hospital for a week after the birth and was asking every midwife, and they all had different opinions as to whether it was ‘in’! I was expecting to feel full and engorged but I never did - even 6 months down the line, I rarely get that full boob feeling you read about so I agree with other posters 50ml sounds really good and in all likelihood your milk is in.

I also had to top up with formula initially as baby was tongue tied so just couldn’t get enough and did so for about 3 weeks - and it was fine. Gradually DS started having more breast milk and the amount of top ups decreased.

It’s so tough though and I really feel for you. I would definitely go to any bf clinic or ring the helplines as they can give you advice and support over the phone (for me it always gave me a boost as they would suggest new things to try which would help get through a tough patch or the next feed).

Have you had baby checked for tongue tie? I only ask because you mention him getting tired (my baby fed constantly because after 5 minutes of feeding he would fall asleep as the effort of trying to get the milk was exhausting and then would be ready to go again - it was a constant cycle until we had the tongue tie corrected)

Favouring one side is normal (my boobs are totally lopsided now!). Just keep putting baby to breast and forget about expressing just now. The more you feed, the more milk you will make, you can do it. You can even do it from only one side if you have to. 💐

Just seen in the time it took me to write the above tongue tie, boobs NOT being like beach balls and calling la leche league have all been covered by the above posters!

I missed about 50ml, I only got about 20ml with the hands pump after my milk came in, it took ages until I could get more, it's great that is sorted.

Cup, bottle, teaspoon or syringe - it doesn't necessarily matter, my DS drank from anything and never got confused. Early days he struggled to latch with my left nipple because it was flatter, I had to play with it to bring out the nipple and squidge out a little milk, then he went for it once he tasted the milk. With the right boob it could get a bit too round and engorged so he'd struggle to maintain a latch; I'd squish a bit out into his mouth and the looseness after that gave him sucking space.

Mine was always a slow eater (still is when he's tired) and like many breastfed babies was slower growing in the early few weeks as he took so much time and effort over feeding. The standard EBF curve then goes way over the centile charts, which worked for my (now huge) boy. If you need to top up for a bit that's ok, it won't last forever so just stick with it for a little while.

Those day 5 hormones are a bastard, hope you're on the up now. Enjoy the newborn snuggles, it all feels so scary at first when they look fragile but they get big so so so quickly! X

If he’s falling asleep too early in the feed, you can gently massage little circles on his jaw (under his ear) to stimulate sucking again - worked with both mine!

Please get some syringes from boots if the hospital won't supply them. There is a real risk of bottle preference. I take it your ward hasn't got UNICEF baby friendly award thingy. Coz syringe is absolutely the first way to try to get extra colostrum in.

And you are doing amazing to be able to express anything at day 6! Well done you.

It can take quite a few days for milk to come in, there's a broad range of normal.

As long as baby isn't doing damage to your nipples keep offering the boob. You can't bf too much.

And keep swapping sides if he gets 'lazy' on one side.

It's totally normal for babies to have side preferences.

Keep yourself well hydrated. Doesn't matter what you eat, but do make sure you drink lots of water.

I'm a bf peer supporter and have helped many mums in hospitals with bf. Send me a message if you want more help on the phone. If you are nearby I can call in to help, if you want.

Basically- hang in there. Keep offering the boob. You are doing AMAZING

Keep going! Sounds like you’re doing amazing so persevere. Baby’s tummy is teeny tiny so it’s likely he’ll want little and very often. Plenty skin to skin and just let him latch and feed as much as he wants. Try and just relax, make yourself comfy with plenty snacks and drinks and the remote control. If you can get to a breastfeeding support group definitely go, and try and get your HV to put you in touch with some specialist support that can visit you at home. Breastfeeding Yummy Mummy’s on Facebook is brilliant for support so if you’re on Fb join that too x

@NameChange30 I don't think he has? I will definitely ask just in case!

Thanks everyone fit the tips. Really useful. Thanks!

Any advice... he's starting getting a bit hysterical when I feed him. He just sucks a bit, then starts crying and rioting and trying to latch. He ends up upsetting himself and I end up after a 39 minute battle just giving him a bottle... normal?

You could try contacting your local NCT group, ours has a breastfeeding councillor - good luck.

OP get his tongue checked an an infant feeding clinic. They neex to check by actually putting their finger in and not just by looking.
My milk came in on day 6 i think.
Lanisoh for nipples, and express if its too painful.
Pace feed when giving expressed from bottle so the flow is as it would be from the breast.

You've got this!x

Oh and another thing. Get comfy! Stay in bed and feed and sleep all day for a few days. Itll help you rest and you'll be more relaxed, and baby will love it too x

What you're describing happened to all three of mine when they weren't getting enough from me. Doesn't mean this is the same for you of course. Could be because of a possible tounge tie. Are you expressing? Sorry you may have said...I am sleep deprived with my own newborn.

If he has a tongue tie he could well not be able to latch without taking in air as well - try feeding him somewhere really quiet and listening to hear if you can hear funny wheezing/sucking noises. If he is, he'll get terrible stomach pains which would explain the fussing and pulling off (this is what happened with my DS). There's a myth that babies are automatically less colicky when BF but this isn't necessarily true of a baby with a tongue tie. My DS certainly took in less air with a bottle.

I would do lots of skin to skin, like maybe have a bath together.
One side is fine. You know he can latch. You can move onto the other side mid feed maybe, quickly unlatch from the one side and move over. Or try to get him to latch to the other side when asleep or sleepy. I also used to find I could get a latch on my difficult side by sort of propelling the baby on while standing up, for some reason that was the only way for a long time - me moving seemed to work.
50ml is loooaads btw.

You could try using the pump before latching him on, just for a minute or two to get your milk flowing a little. It may make it easier for him to feed. But don't spend too long trying to get him to latch, if he's getting very upset. Try it, let him latch and feed for as long as he wants, then give the bottle.

I'd use a teat like the Medela Calma ones where they have to work a little harder to get milk, rather than a free flow teat.

Sounds very similar to where i was at on day 6. I'm on day 17 now...

Other posters have offered excellent advice which i won't repeat, I just wanted to say hang in there because it does get much better, probably within the next couple of days. At day 6 i was only pumping about 50ml each time. Can now easily do 100ml in one go, depending on the time of day, up to 300ml total daily.

Make sure your DP is using the expressed milk to do feeds so you can sleep a few hours in a stretch, that will definitely help!!

“
Any advice... he's starting getting a bit hysterical when I feed him. He just sucks a bit, then starts crying and rioting and trying to latch. He ends up upsetting himself and I end up after a 39 minute battle just giving him a bottle... normal?”

Sounds as if he’s frustrated because he’s hungry and wants to latch but can’t.

Please do get him properly assessed for tongue tie ASAP. If you’re happy to tell us where you are, we could help with suggesting BF drop-ins and lactation consultants.

There’s info about tongue tie, including symptoms and what an assessment should involve, at www.tongue-tie.org.uk/Mobile/m-tongue-tie-information.html

50ml is really good.

You've had great advice here. Yes to syringe, yes to LLL, real life groups.

All I wanted to add is you are not useless. You are a great mum. You are making your baby feel, safe, secure and loved... your milk is like liquid love for baby.

I have had huge hurdles to breastfeeding my first child this year.... terrible birth, long hospital stay for both of us, feeding tubes, inverted nipples, baby couldnt latch, formula top ups, mastitis, breast abcess, back in hospital, ongoing recovery and health problems for me from awful birth....yada yada yada. However, my baby is now 10 months old and we are still exclusively breastfeeding alongsides solids now. I love feeding my baby and she loves it too.

Persevere, keep asking for help and be kind to yourself. You have just been through birth and now you are both learning to feed. It will get easier. You can do this. Never give up on a bad day.

Congratulations on your new baby

Contact your midwife and tell her you need help BF from the infant feeding team.