To feel a bit sad/miffed about this...

[Putmedownforanap]

I know I am really, but I can't help it!

We have recently adopted our second child, he moved in with us just under two weeks ago and is a young baby. He is our older child's birth sibling. It has been a stressful and exhausting process (much more so than with our first child), but he is a lovely baby and we are of course absolutely over the moon to have him home.

So, what's bothering me is... We have so far had a total of 3 congratulations cards. No one from my husband's family has sent anything at all. This has NOTHING to do with our son being adopted as everyone made a huge fuss with our first child.

I get that this is always the case with a second child, but we have lots of friends and family and I have certainly send cards and presents for every single one of their new babies. When you adopt, perhaps understably, you don't tend to get any of the fuss as a Mum that you might get when having a birth child. No pregnancy massage, no pamper days, certainly no presents for you etc. So, if I'm honest, whilst I also feel sad for my son that so little fuss has been made (we e kept all my daughter's cards and there's at least 50!!) I also feel sad for me and my husband as the first few weeks are pretty tough and a few more congratulations cards and a bit of fuss would be very nice!!!

*with us, not you! Weird autocorrect!

OP, I think you make a good point that adopted children may be more likely to think about how many cards they got when they were a baby especially as I suspect adopted children are more likely to have a ‘my story’ book. I hadn’t really thought that through properly.

Anyway, how about simply asking your friends and family to send some cards. Be totally upfront about it. Tell them you are making your son a ‘my story’ book and he hasn’t got as many cards as his sister. If your friends and family are the least bit ok then I bet they would be happy to oblige.

Ugh, sorry about typos etc

There was defo less cards/resents for my second child. I really don't think it's about being adopted.

To be honest it was like this with our second child. We received a barrage of cards and gifts for our first and a handful for the second so I would say it's just how it goes sadly. Congratulations from me x

This ^^

🎉🎈💐 Congratulations 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🥂🍾🎉

It’s definitely normal for the 2nd child, sadly. As others have said, with the first one it’s a big life change, after that it’s different. I always make a big fuss because they’re a new little person in the family, but understand others that don’t.

Maybe people don’t realise what you’ve gone through to get DS & assume it was ‘a given’ as you have DD, his sibling? It’s sad DS had to go to foster parents given you did already have DD.

Try not to give it any more though and just enjoy those snuggles, I’m very envious!

Anyway, how about simply asking your friends and family to send some cards. Be totally upfront about it. Tell them you are making your son a ‘my story’ book and he hasn’t got as many cards as his sister. If your friends and family are the least bit ok then I bet they would be happy to oblige.

I second this.
Were you to say this to me, I’d happily oblige.

Congratulations & welcome to your new son.

That's crap isn't it? The same happened to me when I had DD2 OP. DD1 arrived in a flurry of cards, flowers and gifts and visits but DD2...nothing!

I think I had a couple of cards from my Aunt and sisters and Mum and that was all.

I felt very low after the birth. Looking back and I think bugger them all! You think that too. You've now got a lovely new baby son and a sibling for his older sibling. All wonderful. Congratulations.

If you think it will be important for ds then hold a party - I would arrange a buffet at a naice eatery and have a welcome to family party then he will have cards and pics of the gathering, cake etc

I don't like being centre of attention so was happier about quiet fanfare for DC2+. How it should be.