Baby blues

[WaterWellies]

Sorry, posting in AIBU as I have a baby boy who is only a few days old and really need advice. Cardinal sin of piston for traffic, sorry.

My boy is perfect, but I'm so down. Everyone keeps telling me he looks just like DP, looks just like DPs daughter, that he looks nothing like me, etc etc. It's starting to upset me. I know this is stupidly unreasonable. DP is gorgeous, I should be happy that he looks like him! Just everything and every conversation revolves around this.

I had a tough birth which I am seeking counselling down the line to deal with, so I'm very sensitive and feeling quite vulnerable at the moment.

AIBU to be upset by ridiculous things like this? I've got the baby blues, bad...

Posting*

It sounds like you definitely need some counselling . I hope you don't have to wait too long - can you push your doctor to see someone urgently?

You say your son is only a few days old - I doubt it is really possible to discern any strong resemblance to either parent in such a tiny baby. I expect people are saying this as a pleasantry, and are comparing him to DP and his family simply because he's a boy. They think they are being kind and haven't realised it's upsetting you. When he's older, he'll probably resemble you both in equal measure.

From your post, you have the insight to see this as a symptom of your post-birth trauma. Hopefully your counselling will help you deal with this and bring you to a place where you can enjoy your lovely son.

Babies look like babies. If it helps you in any way at all DD looked like her dad for the first couple of years (and I had MANY comments about it) but now she’s all me. They change. Constantly. You grew him for the best part of a year so your features will soon come through. Enjoy your baby and be proud of yourself. DP game him 23 chromosomes but you gave him the same amount plus a warm and safe environment whilst he was developing.

There’s a theory that newborn babies are designed to initially resemble their fathers to aid with boding, because dads don’t have the added benefit of all the lovely boding hormones that floods mums body after delivery, nature has creatively helped dads to bond by making babies look similar to them.

Yanbu to feel emotional after birth, but hopefully you can be assured that lo looking like dad is nature’s way of helping them bond.