To not be invited

[Cuppatea10]

Just been for food with work friends. There are 6 of us. 2 of us haven't been invited to one of the girl's hen party but we have been invited to the wedding. Someone mentioned something earlier and it got awkward which was when I first become aware I wasnt invited. When this girl left someone else mentioned it and I said oh I hadn't been invited.
AIBU to be upset I had not been invited? This girl has said she doesn't have any other friends other than us. So it's not like any other girls are going just 1 cousin on top of the 3 other girls.

Was it an oversight? They obviously think a lot of younto get a wedding invite

No it weren't as the girls who wedding it was tried to stop the other girl mentioning it and sharply changed the subject. And then when she left the other girls confirmed I had not been invited

It is* not it was

Weird! Normally it’s an invite to the hen do but not the wedding.

Yea feel a bit rubbish I've been left out

Obviously there must be something behind it as it was so hushed.

Doesn’t necessarily mean that it was done to harm ... are your circumstances very different?

Be very grateful, hen nights are hell shite

It sounds like she is purposely keeping the hen do very small, just 3 friends from work and her cousin. Coupled with the fact that she says she doesn’t have any other friends, I’m guessing that she’s shy or introverted or both and doesn’t want a typical hen do, just something quiet and low key. It’s possible that she doesn’t want a hen do at all but feels like she has to and this is her way of minimising the embarrassment.

You’ve been invited to the wedding. This is good. It would be more of a snub, I think, if it was the other way around - you’re good enough for a night out but not to share a really important life event.

I think you need to let this go, and be pleased that you’ve been invited to her wedding.

Are you just invited to the evening reception? Are you a filler? She hoping you'll stick a couple of notes in a card?

If so, I wouldn't go. Sod that.

I would prefer to be invited to the wedding than the hen do, if I'm honest. So I don't really think that you have been snubbed.

What are they doing for the hen? Maybe it is restricted on numbers?

I'd feel snubbed for sure, but the bottom line is... dont waste your time wanting to spend time with people that don't want to spend time on you? Like I go to events now because I want to go, I wouldn't go for anyone else, if I fancy it I'll go and feel no obligation to do anything. If they're going to do weird 'exclusive' things like that, that's odd behaviour I wouldn't want to be around anyway, how petty schoolgirl is that! X

What's the hen is there limits on numbers?

Just think of it as having saved yourself some money. Or go out that night with friends who do want your company. Do you know what the evening activity is? Maybe it is something where the numbers are limited? Or limited by tbe number who can fit in a car? Even so, you know where you stand in the pecking order of her friends.

Or maybe, OP, she doesn't actually consider you a friend. This is common in group friendships. You have stronger connections with some members than others. Or you feel no connection with some, but they have connections with other group members so they are part of the circle. If this is the case, don't feel bad. It's very normal and no reflection on you (or her even). We just don't connect with everyone. Ideally, as part of the group, she should have invited you, but she didn't, so you just need to find a way to make your peace with that. She should have known, though, that it would get out that you weren't invited.

(Or she's just a divisive bitch, in which case, kick her to the curb.)