To find this soooooo irritating

[figelnarage]

So I am probably overly sensitive due to hormones but I've just lost it with my DH for doing something he has been doing to me for years.

He always says 'anything', for example when choosing food....or 'anywhere' when deciding where to go, for example from nights out to holidays.

But then when I make a decision he is NEVER happy with it and changes it. For holidays this has often involved quite a lot of research and really winds me up!

This has always irritated me but I found myself completely in a full on rage about it - haha. It was only a takeaway 

So AIBU to find this incredibly infuriating?!

YANBU. Don’t keep giving him options. Or next time he’s vague and then tries to veto your suggestion tell him if he was fucking bothered he had his chance to say so and missed it.

No, YANBU, that sort of thing drives me crazy too.
From now on, keep a list of everytime he says anywhere/anything, what you decide and what he changes it to.

YABU to start a sentence with the word So.

That is incredibly infuriating!

Haha, sorry Yoni

Tried that Anne, but mostly end up changing just to have a decision

MumW, the list thing is a good idea. Maybe I'll put it in his xmas stocking 

You're not being unreasonable, but you are allowing this pattern to continue. Why? Just STOP already. Force him to make decisions or don't go on holiday/order food etc. Simply refuse to be a part of this madness until he grows up and stops being such a twat.

I forgive you.

YANBU. My husband leaves every little decision to me but then I can tell by his face when he's not happy with it even though he has the sense to keep his mouth shut. I don't want to always decide what to have for dinner. When I say "What shall we have for dinner?" I'm really saying "Please can you help me choose something?"
So I've started saying that instead.

My other half does this. If I'm tired after a day at work and buying dinner on the way home and I ask him what he'd like. He always replies "anything" and thinks that's being helpful. All I want is for someone else to have to think for once and make a decision!!!

Aqua, I wish it was as simple as that

Red and Oyster, I am sorry you are going through this too....but it feels good to know I am not alone 

Ach just tell him he is no longer entitled to an opinion. That would do my tits in

YANBU, but YABU to put up with it.

I’ve spent many an afternoon fishwifing “Why do you say you don’t mind what’s for dinner, when you do mind very fucking much!?” at DP in the centre aisle at Asda.

He usually has the grace to concede, and then chooses some food he actually wants to eat.

Cringing as I’m your husband- I always say ‘whatever is easiest’ or ‘anything’ if my husband/friend offers. I genuinely don’t mind, so it’s easier to default to non-commitment. Offer of tea/coffee, for example, I’ll reply ‘either’. Now wondering if it must irritate anyone?

My DH does this. I do it too though so I guess we are even.

My husband does this too. So now I make the decision and honestly it’s tough shit if he doesn’t like it. If he does it again tell him that he had his chance to voice his preferences, didn’t have any and so you have chosen. If he huffs about it—also tough. He’ll stop doing this pretty quick with this tactic. I get how annoying it so give it a consequence.

Applesandpears you are absolutely irritating many people I'm sure. You must have a preference for tea or coffee and if not just pick one at random, pushing the decision onto someone else is annoying as hell.

I call this 'outsourcing thinking'. My MIL is terrible for this - "will I need a coat?" - and, to a lesser degree, DH.

I tell them to work it out themselves and let me know what they've decided. If nothing is forthcoming, I do what I want.

Probably a bit appleandpears... it’s easier for you not to have to make a decision and harder for the other person/people as they then have to do it for you.

The OP is complaining her DH actually does have an opinion but only bothers to share it when he’s left it up to her. Which is different. If you really don’t mind then it’s not as bad but still passing the thinking effort to the person offering you something.

I know where my DH gets it, his whole family are like this. We went on holiday with his parents last year and it was like torture. If I hadn't taken control I think they'd still be there all saying they don't mind which restaurant and they're happy to go along with what everyone else wants to do.

My DH does this. I don’t mind making the decision but if he won’t get involved then his only option is to be supportive. You don’t get to abdicate responsibility and then complain about the consequences...

I would be tempted to feed him a really random assortment of food on a single plate if he said "anything". It drove my mother bonkers when my father did this.

I just reply that if I'd wanted to decide I wouldn't have asked him.

But I still occasionally get 'but I don't know what's in the fridge' so I start enquiring if his limbs and eyes have stopped working.

Funnily enough he's rather a lot better now.

Play with his twattishness.

Suggest something utterly ridiculous. Every single time.

"Let's order in Pot Noodles for dinner"
"I quite fancy some quail actually"

"I've heard Columbia is lovely this time of year"
"There's that lovely place in Korea, is it North or South? I can never remember"