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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Be pissed off with my partner because he is talking nicely with his ex wife.

13 replies

1sunflower · 26/10/2018 17:11

Ok guys so this is a bit complicated. Me and my OH been together 3 years and have a beautiful 1 year old daughter. He was previously married and has a son with ex wife. Since me and him got together they been separated for 4 years. I have a very good connection with his son. Since me and OH have been together his ex has been making my life a misery. She's been texting him saying I'm trying to poison her son because he has diarreha from my food (the same night he had chicken for dinner at her house), she's been calling me fat( even though I'm 56kg) she's been calling him names and texting at freaking 3am with stupid talks about how he should give her more money for her son etc. Lately everything had calm down. We've set up a child maintenance payments so that she gets the amount she should and not spend it on herself but on the kid( we also buy him anything he asks for). And for past 2 months she has been calling him and talking all nice like "What paint should I use on the walls" or how is my and his dog doing?! So I said to my OH I do not want her being all f* nice after all that and so that she calls regarding their son and nothing else, he said sure that's ok, but today he received a weird message from her while he was in the shower so I opened and had a look. In the watsapp conversation I found him sending her pictures of our dog with captions like "look she's scared to walk in the forest" etc and her sending him pictures of her old dog and videos and a spinning to send some videos of our dog?!?!??! I don't know what the heck that is about, but it hurts me has been all lovely talking to her behind my back not about their son but different things. What should I think of this? I'm actually fuming right now!

OP posts:
LokiBear · 26/10/2018 17:17

Them having a friendly relationship is the absolute best thing for their son. YABMassivelyU. Consider how brilliant it will be to your ds to have his parents and step parents get on. If she has started to behave more maturely then so should you for the good of the child.

EsmeeMerlin · 26/10/2018 17:19

Surely it’s better they have a good relationship for the sake of their son? Would you not want the same for your child?

I do get it’s not nice for you after the way she behaved but he is stuck with her now they share a child so I think it’s better all round they can get on. It will help them co-parent.

Suebnm · 26/10/2018 17:19

Your boyfriend is doing the right thing and he wouldn't have to hide it from you if you weren't fuming.

wallowinwater · 26/10/2018 17:22

I wouldn't like it either after their history, it's a bit odd and over stepping boundaries, especially given how extreme and unpleasant her behaviour has been to you. P.s you can never win as a step mum on Mumsnet.

PushHop · 26/10/2018 17:22

Yabvu. I really dislike DH's ex after everything she put me through the first few years, but I 100% encourage him to have a good relationship with her for his sons sake. I often have to tell him that he is BU when he gets arsey with her.

ZigZagZebras · 26/10/2018 17:24

It sounds like shes adjusted to them being separated and him having a new partner and child. Surely you should be happy about this? They're talking about dogs not sending romantic texts

SoyDora · 26/10/2018 17:25

Them being friendly with each other is the best thing for their child, and he is all that matters in this scenario. You’re a grown up, you can choose to ignore her insults.

IStandWithPosie · 26/10/2018 17:25

Erm it sounds like they’re in the early stages of flirting/an emotional affair!

ivykaty44 · 26/10/2018 17:57

Just bit the bullet and invite her round for supper - that’ll sort it

OscarWildesGreenCarnation · 26/10/2018 18:00

I'm constantly nice to ExP for DS's sake. He's still a twat! Admittedly I don't get his views on my wall colours, but it'll probably settle. Bite your tongue if you can!

Jack65 · 26/10/2018 18:03

Yanbu, I would be pissed off too after the way she has behaved and it feels he is being disloyal to you. I don't have any idea how you could deal with it except smile sweetly and hope she gets bored.

Ilovetolurk · 26/10/2018 18:04

I sent exDH a cute picture of the cat this morning

If he had been with a new partner with whom he had a child no I wouldn’t

smilethoyourheartisbreaking · 26/10/2018 18:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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