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AIBU?

To say I’m not depressed?

19 replies

Sohardtochooseausername · 26/10/2018 16:12

I have had a lot of stress in my life over the last 2 years:

  • partner lost his job
  • partner was diagnosed with life threatening condition
  • partner had a 2 year affair which I discovered and called him out on 3 months ago
  • I accepted a new job before I found out about said affair so started new challenging job 1 month after
  • relationship disintegrated but partner refusing to move out
  • work full time, take DD to school, pick her up, make dinner, do all the house work
  • about to put house on market as I can’t afford it on my own if he ever moves out


I have asthma and it has been very bad for about a year. I got flu in December and since then I have had a cough which has kept me awake every night. I’ve seen a consultant but he’s not interested as all my x rays and tests are clear. But it’s getting worse.

Despite this I try very hard to stay fit and well. I don’t drink a lot, I do yoga, I practice mindfulness, I ran a 10k race 3 weeks ago and did a PB. Exercise makes me feel great and I have also seen a counsellor.

I’ve been trying to get past this cough as it is really weighing me down. I’m not sleeping because the cough keeps me awake. I have been to the GP 3 times this month to try and get something different for it.

Today she said I was clearly depressed and should go on anti depressants.

I’m not depressed. I’m stressed out of my brain and I have a cough. What good would antidepressants do? AIBU to refuse them?
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BaldricksCoffee · 26/10/2018 16:20

My doctor said the same to me. I went with a whole range of symptoms which were basically making me feel totally shit, and have been for some years. Apparently it's because I'm depressed.

Er - try the other way round, i'm miserable because I feel ill all the bloody time.

Sorry you are in a similar situation OP, can you go back to the GP and ask why they believe that depression is causing you to feel ill all the time, and maybe if they could get to the bottom of why you feel ill and treat that instead, then you wouldn't be depressed any more.

Having said that, maybe antidepressants might not be a bad idea in the short term, at least it might help you feel less stressed for a bit.

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NameChanger22 · 26/10/2018 16:25

It sounds like your doctor is on commission. Try the pharmacy instead. Sorry you are having such a rough time, things will get better.

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FaithInfinity · 26/10/2018 16:30

I think it’s totally reasonable to be exhausted and frustrated in your circumstances. I also think those feelings are quite different from having depression (I have felt both).

Are you on any regular medication?

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PinguDance · 26/10/2018 16:31

Sertraline might help with stress as it’s anti anxiety as much as depression - is that the anti depressant you’ve been given? Of course you don’t have to take them if you don’t want to. Did you do the depression inventory? I didn’t realise I was actually depressed until I sat down with the ‘tests’. You can absolutely go back and at you don’t think the diagnosis fits though

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BlaaBlaaBlaa · 26/10/2018 16:31

I've had a similar experience. Apparently the significant amount of pain I'm in is not a herniated disc but partly psychosomatic due to stress and nothing to do with the car accident I was in 6 months ago 🙄

I'm not stressed and had zero symptoms before the accident.

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Sinead100 · 26/10/2018 16:32

OP you sound like an absolute trooper- massive respect. I have been in a similar situation and refused the pills. Keep up with the counselling and see if you can get to a pharmacist for the cough. Good luck!

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PinguDance · 26/10/2018 16:32

id want to pursue the cough definitely, a cough isn’t a symptom of depression so it ought to be dealt with regardless of if you decide to take antidepressants or not

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gingeristhenewblack43 · 26/10/2018 16:34

Has your GP considered reflux? I had a persistent cough that lasted months until my GP prescribed meds for acid reflux. I had no other symptoms.

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3out · 26/10/2018 16:36

Had the same with HV. 6 months of trying to get someone to believe DS wasn’t well, but all HPs doing naff all except slide the depression score across the table at me. ‘Do you enjoy life less now that baby is born’ - absolutely I enjoy life less - this brand new being is ill and completely miserable and nobody will take my concerns seriously! It does my head in.
Have you had an asthma review recently OP? Most GP practices should offer them annually or every other year. Maybe that would pinpoint something?

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Sohardtochooseausername · 26/10/2018 16:51

Thanks everyone - I’m so glad I’m not being totally U.

Asthma - that’s what the consultant is for - I’ve tried a couple of different drugs but none have stopped the cough. Now they just seem bored with me talking about it. But who wants a bad cough that keeps them awake? There must be something that can be done?

I’ll check the depression index thing out, that’s a good idea.

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Sohardtochooseausername · 26/10/2018 16:53

PS I said I didn’t want any anti depressants - but the gp said to come back if I change my mind. Next consultant appointment is in a month so I might try being insistent with him. The only regular drugs I’m on are for asthma and they do nothing.

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FaithInfinity · 26/10/2018 16:58

Just wondered as my friend had a persitent cough and it turned out she was allergic to her drugs. It’s know very frustrating when you’re ill and no-one is taking it seriously.

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marvellousnightforamooncup · 26/10/2018 17:03
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Conseulabananahammock · 26/10/2018 17:07

Anything codeine based is good for a cough believe it or not .

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Sohardtochooseausername · 26/10/2018 17:13

faithinfinity potentially - one inhaler I tried caused an asthma attack.

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Sohardtochooseausername · 26/10/2018 17:13

marvellousnight ah I’d not seen that, thanks.

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Sohardtochooseausername · 26/10/2018 17:14

consuela I’ll maybe ask a chemist what they think I could try.

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IdblowJonSnow · 26/10/2018 17:18

Your gp is an arse. Ask to see someone else. They should have referred you after having a cough for 3 weeks or more. It's normal to feel down after a series of shot episodes but I wouldn't be taking pills in your circs. He or she is fobbing you off. Please go back or write a letter to the head of practice explaining what you've said on here. And good luck - you sound very strong. Flowers

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Sohardtochooseausername · 26/10/2018 21:59

Your gp is an arse.

Love this Grin Thank you.

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