To ask how you juggle long working hours with a secondary age only?

[peachjuice]

I've applied for a job which would see me out of the house 7am - 7pm. DS is 11 - a bit old for a childminder but a bit young to be left for that long.

Any ideas how I can work this?

I was in the same situation as you. I was a single parent too (not sure if you are). DD is an only child. She had to come home on her own and take care of herself til I got home from work . I was out from 7 - 7. It wasn't ideal but we had no choice. She survived!

i'd agree if you had something sorted for 2-3 days it could certainly take the sting out of it, and give you a hand because its hard only getting in home at 7 facing dinner prep, chatting to kids, getting ready for next day, maybe an au pair or a language student, suppose it depends what you can find locally. I didn't mention earlier I have a friend who has a similar situation, ( but she's more filling a gap between 2.30-5.30/6), she has her DS who's in his last year primary school, signed up for every sports club, afterschool/ youth club activity she can find, either in or around school, two days he comes home later grabs a change of clothes and does training from 5-6, so a lot will depend on what's available around your area.

You're in a difficult position, I can see why you feel you need to take the job. It still seems hard on both you and your son though. Paying a housekeeper/ nanny would cost a fair bit. Could you maybe consider a lower paid job closer to home? Or could you do temp/ contract work until something more suitable comes up?

@VioletCharlotte you're right, it would be expensive, but it's not a badly paid job. The temp work in my industry is mostly in London (1.5 hour commute). There's literally very rarely local jobs to me, junior or otherwise. Thanks for your suggestions though, I really wish any of them were viable!

My cousin had a job as a 'mother's help' in sixth form (I didn't create the job title!) She was in the house after school with the mum juggling youngsters. It sounds like you need someone to help at home a couple of evenings a week. In your shoes I'd be sharing this dilemma with every neighbour, finding a late teen by word of mouth. I was a latchkey kid from starting secondary, and it was a bit lonely. I never told my parents that though.

Is there any chance of working from home a couple of days/ part of days?
Then get a housekeeper like you say to be there when dc gets in from school and cook dinner, 3 or 4 days a week, and do a bit of cleaning too.
School holidays will be hard but you could do holiday clubs then for part of it presumably.

I don't think the company are too hot on flexible working (household name company). I did apply for a different job there a few years ago and when asking about flexi working or part time working, was told in no uncertain terms that the job was office based 9-5!

School holidays won't be so hard -I should manage to cover those ok between PGL type clubs, annual leave and my lovely Mum. It's more the everyday term time which worries me.

I've struggled with this since dd started secondary and I only work 9-5!! She hates coming home to an empty house so have juggled it with starting early and therefore getting home earlier, my mum helping out when she can and dd going to a friends house after school.

I can't see how being out the house for 12 hours would be feasible tbh 😕

If you have a spare room an au pair might work for you. I had one growing up. Bonus if you can get someone who speaks a language you want DC to learn!

Get a childminder or after school club. Or get a closer to home job - you'd be losing money on childcare and commuting anyway

No way should an 11 year old be left alone for those hours and it's not fair to ask a neighbour either.

I think a nanny housekeeper might be our best option. I had forgotten that DS goes to his Dad's house 1x a week too, usually collected at 4.30 so it would only be 4 days per week to cover.

I'm same boat as you and intend to use as much wrap around care available. Failing that, hired nanny help. I have a 3 to 4 hour commute a day but an extremely well paid job in the city. Yes it costs but childcare is not a huge amount compared to what you gain from your job, benefits and company pension contributions etc. Just the pension contributions alone is worth £££. It's a tough one, there is no easy answer. Sail through these tough career years and it will pay dividends later.

Those who work part time it is just as challenging. Whether it's 3 days or 5 days, core working hours have to be covered. So tough if you are in any job really.

Can he go to his dad’s 2x week and then to your Mum’s 1x per week?

I think an au pair could work well if you can cope with someone else living in the house...

I used breakfast club and for after school a couple of sixth former kids of my friends, they helped with homework/snack prep and games/chat/fun until I got in.

Otherwise, I do agree it's too long for 4 days a week.

Peach it sounds like you haven't really got any option but to take the job. I'm a single Mum too so I know how hard it is constantly having to juggle children and work and always feeling guilty! I agree that nanny/ housekeeper is the best option. They'll also be able to do some stuff around the house which will free up a bit of time for you as I'm sure you'll be tired working such long hours.