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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Schools - running out of time

27 replies

Greeneyedmonkey · 26/10/2018 08:30

Sorry posting for traffic. Secondary school choices need to be made by next week.
School 1: academically significantly better. Anecdoatally pastoral care not as good. New head coming in, reputed to be excellent. In same direction as I’m going already so can help with lifts if weather horrid. 1 class friend going. Lunchtimes not as good- we think kids have to eat packed lunches outside.
School 2: similar distance (2 miles) opposite direction. Cycle paths for most of it but have to cross one rat-run type road without a crossing and not well lit (will be just dark when gets home around shortest days). Results definitely not as good. Pastoral care meant to be good. 3 swim club friends going but they will know lots of their school friends going up. Crucially dd prefers school 2 - we think because of the friends factor.
What do we do? Any thoughts. I’m struggling because dd has a preference although she really liked school 1 on open day she now seems to have reverted to favouring school 2 again. My head says school 1.

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 26/10/2018 08:32

School 1.

iMatter · 26/10/2018 08:36

The problem is the 2 negatives you list about school 1 aren't facts - they are perceptions or anecdotes. Is there any way you can get more info? Eg at my kids' school you can eat packed lunches outside if you want but there's also a canteen so you don't have to eat outside.

I understand the friend thing but IME children make friends at secondary school really quickly.

I would probably go for school 1 but I can see it's not clear cut!

Good luck with your decision!

Greeneyedmonkey · 26/10/2018 08:38

Thank you. It is factual. Packed lunches are eaten outside. There are some shelters I believe. They are not allowed in form rooms. Apparently they are allowed in form rooms during wet breaks but according to a parent of a year 11 that is v rare

OP posts:
ifeelsoextraordinary · 26/10/2018 08:40

School 1

Greeneyedmonkey · 26/10/2018 08:40

Sorry I meant the lunch bit is factual. The pastoral care bit is not, as you say.

OP posts:
Angrybird345 · 26/10/2018 08:41

School 1

Greeneyedmonkey · 26/10/2018 08:43

When I say significantly better, percentages of grade 5 or above English and Maths - 56% vs 41%

OP posts:
Greeneyedmonkey · 26/10/2018 08:43

And school 2 does have a lovely feel to it.

OP posts:
Greeneyedmonkey · 26/10/2018 08:44

They focus v much on a well rounded individual. Just think it may be at expense of school 1

OP posts:
Greeneyedmonkey · 26/10/2018 08:44

Expense of results. Sorry. Trying to do 2 things at once.

OP posts:
Greeneyedmonkey · 26/10/2018 09:07

Thank you for all your responses. You’re all saying what I’m thinking.

OP posts:
bonfireheart · 26/10/2018 09:18

Great advice on here!
Can all you lovely people help me too :)
School 1- mixed comprehensive, rated Ofsted "outstanding", new headteacher, great extra curricular activities, I know kids who've gone there and done really well, DD and I loved it when we went on Open Day. We would have to move house though. DD did an entrance exam for the school n achieved great results so might get in based on that but I would want her within walking distance of the school she's going to.
School 2 - single sex, Ofsted rated "good", exam results similar to school 1, not many extra curricular activities, they didn't have an open evening, we wouldn't have to move house.
Heart says school 1, head says school 2.

ifeelsoextraordinary · 26/10/2018 09:26

bonfire moving house is a pretty significant factor! I’d say school 1 but that depends how easy it is for you to move.

Atchiclees · 26/10/2018 09:26

School 1 op. Lunch outside wouldn’t bother me. It is likely to be on the list of things to change with the new Head as she or he will know the strengths and weaknesses of the school and will want to build upon those.

Greeneyedmonkey · 26/10/2018 09:28

Thank you!

OP posts:
Greeneyedmonkey · 26/10/2018 09:30

Bonfire- id probably go school 2 as moving seems drastic.

OP posts:
PrincessHairyMclary · 26/10/2018 09:41

Don't focus on the % of level 5s they could have had a particularly low attaining year with lots of SEN etc focus on their value added score.

Thisreallyisafarce · 26/10/2018 09:42
  1. 1. 1.
Greeneyedmonkey · 26/10/2018 09:46

Thank you Thisis (am assuming you’re referring to mine not bonfire?)

OP posts:
Greeneyedmonkey · 26/10/2018 09:46

Thank you princess- am trying not to as I know you’re correct.

OP posts:
Thisreallyisafarce · 26/10/2018 09:47

Yes, Green.

chickenfeathers · 26/10/2018 10:05

Greeneyedmonkey I would say school 1 too.

Bonfire as others have said - if a house move is easy then school 1 definitely.

A lot has been mentioned about friends moving to secondary school. My DD is now in Y8. When she first moved to secondary, quite a few of her primary friends went too. Due to classes and forms, she hardly saw any of them - and now her close friends are those who went to completely different primary schools!

GeorgeTheHippo · 26/10/2018 10:15

School 1 based on what you have typed.

What does your gut feel say?

minivampsmakebloodwork · 26/10/2018 10:52

Which school felt more comfortable to you?

Put ofsted results and attainment to one side. If you had to pick a school you think your child would thrive in based on the feeling you got when you visited, which would it be?

We've gone against the grain of many of my parent friends and chosen our catchment, requires improvement school over the further away good school which I left 20 years ago.

Dd was happy viewing both schools and will know pupils from both schools due to a combination of her school peers and the various out of school clubs she attends. She isn't bothered about being in the same class as any of her current classmates but will miss her closest friend who is allegedly going to the local (private) grammar school. She moved schools at the beginning of year 5 so doesn't have deep relationships with her classmates from years of shared space.

Catchment school (school 1) has a long and openly troubled history due in part to the area it services - many esol pupils, itinerants and a poorer area. (Evidence available in the news and published statistics)

Good school (school 2) used to be the town grammar school when my father was a boy. It's still trying to maintain a grammar type reputation while covering up a great deal of poor pupil behaviour and a culture of bullying. (Personal experience and more recent anecdotal evidence from friends whose children attend as well as news reports)

I felt school 1 cared about their pupils and wanted them to achieve their full potential rather than school 2 feeling like a dictatorship run along business lines to get results. They are both academies.

The talk from school 2 was very much business terms and results driven. How many A*'s and A's were awarded at gcse and a level (or whatever their current scheme is). It broke them down into individual grades and percentages but missed out lower grades completely.

School 1 showed us one slide of (improving) results over a 5 year period then proceeded to acknowledge their past but that they were learning from it and doing x, y and z to improve the pupils attainment. Including using their own interests to help them in areas they struggled with (many of the extra curricular activities are not based on academics or solely sporting).

When I was walking round, school 1 talked to dd and asked her what her favourite subjects were, what she did as hobbies, were interested in her as a person.

School 2 directed every question to me and it was about how well she was performing in each subject. It felt like she was being vetted as to whether she would be good enough for them.

At the end of the day, you make the choice based on what works for you. In your situation, the better school is on your route for work, you can help out more with lifts etc for bad weather and extra curricular events.

But you said your head says school 1. What is your heart saying and why?

I know dd will be happy in school 1. I know she will thrive in an environment where she can bring herself to her work. I feel in school 2, even if she will likely know more pupils in her year group, the environment will run her self esteem down and I cannot out her through that. It destroyed me.

bonfireheart · 26/10/2018 17:34

Thank you all really appreciate. I honestly which the LA or schools did more to help parents figure all this out then just a link to the application form.
It's interesting what you say minivamp the school I actually really liked n suprised myself was school 3, deemed by ofsted as "requires improvement" and GCSE results just below national average. The kids were lovely, polite and happy- I know the area and see the kids around and their behaviour is always impeccable. The teachers showed an interest my questions n answered them honestly, took time to show me resources, the way teachers n staff were interacting was lovely too. It's in what many would say is a "rough area" but both DD and I loved it- and I used to be a teacher and was really impressed. Felt like a school where my child would grow n be looked after to be who she is.

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