Godparent snub

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Name changed to keep this anonymous.

My niece is being christened soon and my brother told me he would like me to be one of her godparents (we have always been very close). His wife has now said I am not to be one of the godparents and my brother is denying ever saying otherwise. (I know I'm her aunt already but it's the fact that my SIL has clearly told my brother she doesn't agree with him on this that's upsetting me). I have always got on with her so I don't understand this.

When I told them I was a little upset she sent me a string of texts telling me I had only visited a few times since she was born (this is because I am studying the other side of the country and have visited them every time I have been back home - they have not visited me).

AIBU to be a little hurt about this?

How do you know she said that? YANBU to be annoyed but at least now you have the measure of her.

He has told me she doesn't want me to be a godparent. He got quite upset about it but in front of her he is denying he ever said otherwise

Just get on with your studies and your life - you now have the measure of them both.

You're her aunt, God parents aren't usually close relatives

Honestly just concentrate on being a good auntie if you want what's best for your niece.

That is a very inconsiderate thing to do and rather strange to deny having asked you, it implies you have made it up. Perhaps he suggested it to her and she went batshit so is denying all. I would feel sorry for him having such little confidence to have a conversation with his wife about what is his preference for his dd. For the best outcome just let it go.

I understand why you're hurt, but how does she envisage the role of the godparent in her child's life?

You already have a role - you're a blood relative.

You're justified in being upset, but just let it go. Don't make their issues yours. You have plenty of things to deal with, surely?

You’re an auntie. That’s enough. People can go weird when they have a baby. Back off and let it be for your own sake

I understand why you'd be hurt but I've never understood making relatives godparents. You're already a relative, so you don't need to be made one. Auntie is just as important so you aren't actually missing out on a key role. Just concentrate on your studies and keep seeing them like you have.