To find organising birthday parties stressful

[Twork]

Why do 7 year olds change who they are friends with weekly?
Why do lots of parents just not bother actually replying either way?
Why do some parents say they are coming then not bother turning up.

We're obviously paying per head with limited numbers. It's selfish.

My (exhausted) 7 year old was in tears tonight because I couldn't tell her if so and so was coming. She got worried we wouldn't have enough people for it to work.

No family or friends who would be happy to act as emergency back up. I don't get go do the school run much.

Next year we are taking the kids from 2 reliable parents to the cinema and that's it.

Now I know why my parents refused to give us birthday parties.

It's just plain rude how many parents don't respond. It drives me nuts tbh and it just makes me think they are waiting for a better offer! I'm organising 2 parties in Nov and Dec and I swear it's not worth the stress.

No. I don't find them stressful at all.
I text and check if people don't rsvp. Which actually all mine do.
Both ds's have always had the same friends each year and I know the parents well.
I make a cake. I make fab party bags.
No stress.

Agreed.

I've had to pay for 4 children whose parents have not replied for DS's party next week.

What will you do if they turn up Minnie? I'm half tempted to tell them to go away if they haven't bothered to reply but that is unfair on the child (and mine). Im

Aw, bless you! I used to love b.day parties. I'm so sad I don't get to do them any more. My getting-very-grown-up-now DD's bday is mid - late November, and everyone ALWAYS came because the weather was always shit and it was always dark early and parents were thrilled to have a break for a couple of hours.
Also, we did good parties.

I'm a terrible parent, but I know how to put on a fun b.day party for a kid!

I wouldn't send them away, but I'd make a pointed comment. And fantasise about giving them a less good party bag.

I've taken to adding a sentence in the invitation saying that if there's no RSVP by x date I'll assume you're not attending. I've made it clear that as the party is pay per head only those who've replied by the rsvp date will have a confirmed place. So far by harsh stance has worked. If you can't attend tell me earlier so another child can be invited. why don't parents get this?

See now Maccy, I don't understand why that should even need to be said.

I think I will send another note closer to the time with a deadline though.

I totally sympathise, OP. I used to hate hosting parties when my kids were young. I used to wake up in cold sweats having had nightmares I'd forgotten the party bags or something! Such a relief when they get to the age of birthday treats (cinema and pizza) with a couple of pals.

I always put an RSVP date on the invite which is a good couple of weeks before the party so that if someone declines/ doesn’t respond, dd’s can potentially invite someone else. I always chase up though before allowing dd to invite someone else instead.

I have paid for them OP. DS asked three of the DC if they are coming (they're 4/5) and they said yes. All the parents I manged to chase in person were coming.