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AIBU?

To think all parents of teens should talk to their children about porn?

7 replies

QuentinWinters · 25/10/2018 20:04

I'm really concerned about the impact of porn and hypersexualised media on children, in particular how they view sex in loving relationships and the link between porn use and misogynistic attitudes in men.
Read this today

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/oct/25/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-porn-pornography

And from there I found this
parents.culturereframed.org

AIBU to think it's really important to talk to children about porn?

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Stormwhale · 25/10/2018 20:09

I completely agree with you. When dd gets to about 11 I will be having this conversation with her. Porn is having a huge impact on our teens and sexual violence in particular. My dd will know that women are treated like trash in porn films and real loving relationships should never be like that.

I want to talk to her about her rights in a sexual relationship as she gets towards the age where she would be having one. My parents only ever told me I should wait for marriage. I didn't, obviously, and instead was used by teenage boys to act out their porn fantasies with no idea that I should have been enjoying it too.

I hope my dd will grow up to be sexually confident and able to voice her own needs and wants. This should definitely include being treated with respect, not like an actress in a porn film.

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Pebblespony · 25/10/2018 20:10

Maybe. I wouldn't be making a huge deal about it though. Just let them know it's not real.

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Echobelly · 25/10/2018 20:17

I've looked at Culture Reframed and talked to DD (10) about it. I think you need to talk about it pre-teens, as kids may start to hear about it or first see it then. I wanted to talk to DD as she is a sensitive soul and I didn't want some kid showing her porn for a laugh and her then thinking that that's what sex is and being frightened and distressed by it, as happens to some kids when they see it without understanding it.

I basically told her what it was, she said she'd 'heard of stuff like that', assured her it's not real sex and she doesn't have to worry that it represents something she has to do, and to tell us if she sees anything like that and it upsets or worries her.

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AuntieStella · 25/10/2018 20:22

YABU to suggest in the thread title that this is an issue you can leave until they are teens.

You need to start talking sex and relationships way younger than that. Once at secondary, it may be too late.

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WineGummyBear · 25/10/2018 20:28

Thanks for the links.

Agree with pp that secondary school is too late.

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TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 25/10/2018 20:36

DS (15) has had some great PSHE lessons on this at school. Apparently, the teacher went through all the issues with how unrealistic it is, the violence, and the way porn can interfere with developing a healthy sexual relationship with a real live person.

DS told me what had been discussed, and all I can say is that the teacher giving the talk did a bloody ballsy job - didn’t shy away from anything.

We have talked about sex for a long time now, as and when appropriate. We also talk about how relationships are depicted on TV.

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QuentinWinters · 26/10/2018 07:34

YABU to suggest in the thread title that this is an issue you can leave until they are teens.
Autocorrect of tweens and I didn't notice Blush

theonly my DS has talked about it a bit in PSHE but not at all about the ethics/impacts of porn and appears to think it's a great idea. I'm not very happy about that.

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