to be sick of my sister?

[wheresthevalium]

She constantly takes umbridge over the slightest little thing, and this is the latest...

DD1's 5th brithday party today, sis and her DP turn up as everyone is leaving, no problem, if I was childless I probably would avoid kids parties like the plague too. She has bought my DD a make up set, something we have had conversations about in the recent past. I had said that I don't want my 2 DDs growing up too quickly, and don't think make up etc is appropriate for their ages, but she bought it anyway.

I didn't say anything as there were still lots of people around, but looked at her so she got the message that I wasn't happy. She stormed out of the house, and sent me a text saying that as far as she is concerned, we are finished. She even tried to get my mum to bring DD1 to her flat afterwards, so she could see her. DD1 said that she didn't want to go.

AIBU to just let my sister cool down and ignore the text she sent me, and wait for her to see my view on this?

yep -time to ignore her - she was happy enough ignoring your opinion about appropriate presents - let her calm down and grow up a bit.

Was it dresing up make-up?

I know my 5yr old likes to wear blush & eye shadow when dressing up.

But I do agree that children should take their time growing up, and not wear make-up too young.

dressing

It's a 'my first make up' set, to be fair it it just lip gloss (coloured) and blusher, but that isn't really the issue.

BTW absolutely am not having a go, or looking down on anyone who lets their DDs wear make up, it's just that the area I live in seems to be full of kids who have been made to grow up too quickly, and it makes me

Valium!!!! Long time no see!!! Where have you been hiding!

Hey Nikki, have been busy falling in love will fill you in soon

Ah ha!!!! You little minx!!

Long story, coffee soon? [blushes and shuffles away at being apalling friend smiley]

she in the wrong not you huni let her calm down and see she in wrong xx dont contact her , that wat i would do huni

No worries - text me when the ahem....first flush of love has passed and you are ready to step out of the bedroom!

Hmm, has been 3 months and showing no sign yet....

thanks ktmoomoo

That would annoy me too.

i love my sis to bits but we have such rows lol it awful

Let her cool down, but you are NBU.

YNBU

i wouldn't ring her, you had already told her you didn't want her to buy your DD makeup for her birthday.

was she looking for an arguement with you for some reason.

I dunno. Maybe she had forgotten the conversation about make up that you had in the recent past; these things are strongly held beliefs to you but may have seemed a passing comment to her, that was very very easily forgotten.

She bought something she thought was girly, and was rewarded for this with a dirty look from you!

Just putting a possible scenario from the other side.......what do you think?

I remember my dds getting Funky Fingers which contained nail varnish when they were very young. I didn't say anything to the giver, because I had never thought to say, "oh, don't buy them nail varnish". You'd have thought it goes without saying. I blame the toy manufacturers: they market these things that many of us consider unsuitable, in such child-friendly packaging, it's not surprising some (usually childless) aunts and uncles innocently buy it.

The question is, did your sis innocently buy it, genuinely forgetting what you had said, or did she buy it on purpose to annoy you and undermine your parenting?

It is surely just about possible that the former is the case, isn't it?

If you want to pour oil on troubled waters, you might consider writing or emailing her, telling her honestly how you felt at the time, that she had purposely undermined you, and hoping that you are wrong. This gives her a chance to save some face, while you reinforce your original view, that you don't want your child to be given make up.