DS spend £200 on game points when he got paid, AIBU to up his rent?

[Polterkut]

Hello,

My son is pretty good. He does his best to keep his room tidy and wash up after himself, do his clothes, etc. he is 18.

He is currently on a gap year so he will start uni next year. He has a job. I said to him he doesn't have to pay rent if he is saving the money. He said ok. However he started spending it, going out with friends, booking mini trips away with the 'lads' etc and so I said I expect a bit of rent as he isn't saving it like agreed but I obviously realised he's 18 and those things are pretty normal and good reasons to spend.

He got paid last week and spent £200!! £200!!!!! On some in game items. I only knew because I asked if he'd like to come and see a show with me and his dad and said tbh he can't really afford it this month and so I asked why not and he said why, claiming it was new stuff.

I know he's 18 and I should stop breathing over him, but I feel he's still so young and has so much to learn and I want to help him be as a responsible adult as possible.

Am I unreasonable to up his rent a bit? He's paying peanuts at the moment. I can give the extra rent to him when he starts uni.

Couldn't you charge rent and actually save it for him? I would think you're definitely reasonable to charge him something as he had agreed to save.

I’d take money off him and save it for him without his knowledge. Maybe it’s a generation thing but 200quid on gaming is disgusting to me, holidays I understand but gaming

I think you need to teach him how to save.

At 18, I had my share of fun and silly purchase but I understood finances and knew to save because you must have a safety net incase of emergencies.

Some people say take the rent but put it aside to give to them, and that's a good idea but it should not replace educating him about finances and the importance of saving.

It's a bit late at 18, but you should really try.

I think he has to learn how to manage his money somehow. If you were happy for him to spend money on a concert, why can’t he spend it on gaming instead? From my perspective it would be a total waste but it’s his money and if he gets pleasure out of it that’s his business.

If he’s not saving then yes he’s gone back on his agreement and you could legitimately charge him some rent. But, I think it’s unfair to do it because in your view he’s pissing away money. Would it have been ok if he’d spent it on clothes or a watch or a concert? He’ll need to learn how much that £200 will have taken him to earn and whether it was worth it to him. Making some mistakes along the way is probably the best way of learning rather than being saved from himself and having is money micromanaged by you.

I would take what you expect him to save and keep it for him, don't tell him in the hope he may save a bit more. I agree re educating him about it, I disagree that 18yos spend in the way your DS is, most of my friends had bills etc they paid first then would budget weekly to go out.

There's absolutely nothing wrong in saying, "Sorry, DS, if you've got money to spend on games then you've got money to spend on rent. Time to start paying for your board."

My dd is on a gap year and I got a pasting on here for asking if I should charge her rent. I went ahead and asked her for 40 a week. So glad I did. She still has plenty to spend on treats and save some as well.

You take what ever rent/keep you think is appropriate, but you really cant micro-manage his personal spending.

I'd say YABU to try and control how he spends his own money that he earnt. It's one thing to encourage him to save, it's quite another to start being judgy about him spending it on X rather than Y.

YANBU. If he can afford to pay so much money to a games developer he's never met, for virtual items that don't improve his life in any tangible way, he can afford to pay his own parents some money towards his keep.

I'd put the money in an account in his name & not tell him. Maybe an ISA.