AIBU?
To ask how well you get on with your ex?
teatwosugars1 · 25/10/2018 16:19
Just that really. Especially if you have a lot anger and resentment towards them. How do you let go of all the anger and try get on with them?
needsahouseboy · 25/10/2018 16:22
I’ve not managed it because he carries on treating our son so appallingly and never once putting him first.
I always wonder how people can put anger to one side when some carries on being such an arse.
I’d struggle to revive him if he had a heart attack in front me unfortunately, my hatred of him is that bad.
fantasmasgoria1 · 25/10/2018 16:24
I don't! I have blocked him and have no reason to speak to him!
CrispbuttyNo1 · 25/10/2018 16:25
I dont. Theres a lifetime restraining order in place. I also moved 250 miles away from where we lived.
BitchQueen90 · 25/10/2018 16:25
Really well, but then our split was very amicable (both realised we would be happier apart) and he is a good dad to DS. If he was a rubbish father I'd struggle.
Pissedoffdotcom · 25/10/2018 16:27
Mine is NC with DD but he does sometimes get in touch with me for stupid reasons dd really needs to know she is an auntie & that daddy dotes on his granddaughter whilst ignoring her completely
It used to wind me up so much i'd want to punch something. Now i treat him like a child whenever he gets in touch.
Singlenotsingle · 25/10/2018 16:28
Hmmm two of them are dead and the third is very ill! (Cackle!)
Sallygoroundthemoon · 25/10/2018 16:48
Very well but no kids involved. We meet every few weeks for lunch or to go to the theatre etc. We were together 17 years and split up 3 years ago, both have new partners. I used to be resentful and angry but we actually get on really well when we aren't a couple so I had to just let it go.
Idontbelieveinthemoon · 25/10/2018 16:55
We get on well. DS1 is 13 now, so we've had over 12 years apart which kind of deadens anything leftover, but really, all I did was try to focus on DS1 in everything.
Ex and I are unusual in that we spend time together with our spouses and DS1 - the way I see it through is that we all love him, we all want to be part of his life and we are all trying our best. Between us he has four people who would give him the world if we could. There's no point banging on that he cheated, or blaming him for choices he made 13 years ago. We all fuck up, we all grow up.
ohamIreally · 25/10/2018 17:02
The man I knew is dead to me. I treat my ex like the stranger he is. DD says I wear my "business face" when I speak to him.
SD1978 · 25/10/2018 17:05
Gingerly. Was pretty horrendous for a while, but through perseverance (mine) it's mainly amicable. Every so often arsyness returns due to a perceived slight on his behalf, but by careful management of my behaviour, mainly we get on. He still comes out with rude comments to DD about me, but I tell her to ignore them as the bullying behaviour they are and move on.
teatwosugars1 · 25/10/2018 18:20
I’d struggle to revive him if he had a heart attack in front me unfortunately, my hatred of him is that bad.
Sounds very familiar! Having DCs with them makes it hard. Otherwise it would have been delete and block!
Bingolingo · 25/10/2018 18:29
We can chat about stuff to do with the kids, but as brief as possible and never about anything else. Now DD is old enough to have a phone he can contact her through that for a chat. He talks to me much less now my OH is around, he finds it harder to bully me with him around :)
NoPhelange · 25/10/2018 18:35
I've managed to detatch from him completely. So whilst he is refusing to see our children unless I split with my current partner 🙄 I am just plodding on picking up the pieces, organising counselling for our daughter etc. I am indifferent to him despite his best attempts to still control my life. I can easily have a conversation with him despite knowing I should hate him, but it's such a wasted emotion and I refuse to waste any more on him.
thesnailandthewhale · 25/10/2018 18:41
The man I knew is dead to me
Totally agree with the pp who said this. I never stopped loving the person I thought he was. Only that person never actually existed.
I have tried to get on as amicably as possible with the person he actually is, despite him cheating on me, leaving me for someone we worked with, then trying to implicate me in something he later went to prison for. But no, he won't even be amicable. He despises me and won't communicate unless utterly necessary (maybe 3 times a year?). He's a useless father. I know I've tried for ds' sake but there really is no hope.
Therunecaster · 25/10/2018 18:44
Reasonably well most of the time. Have 3 DC and he is/ was always a good father so have to grit my teeth every now and then, but worth it for the kids sake. Like me he's met a lovely new DP which helps. Divorce was drawn out and acrimonious there were times I could have cheerfully gone NC.
Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 25/10/2018 18:46
I don't get on with him. I don't see the point in keeping in contact. He doesn't want to see his kids, so I don't need to see him.
chickeletta · 25/10/2018 19:02
I go through phases with mine.... some of the time he is ok and we get on alright but there's he does/says something utterly stupid and it pisses me off!
I don't think my feelings are as strong as some posters who have said similar to 'he is dead to me' etc but I describe mine as 'he's just like someone I used to know' kind of thing.
He seems to be semi interested in DS altho that seems to (IMO) died down a little since the birth of his new baby with his new partner but we shall see 
greenlanes · 25/10/2018 19:24
This. With capitals. So no, we dont get on. At all. He is currently applying for a joint child benefit claim, despite knowing that as a higher tax payer he DOESNT qualify. He would prefer to deprive his child.
LottieLou90 · 25/10/2018 21:22
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darkriver198868 · 25/10/2018 21:27
I have no contact in 18 months. I do hate him. He was an awful father and he managed to walk away with no care.
needsahouseboy · 30/10/2018 11:07
I have to block him on both phone and email unless DS is with him.
I only unblock him a few days before he is due to see DS so he can tell me if he can’t make it. I’m so sick of his bullshit I reduce it to the bare minimum. Apparently this is me trying to control him. Nope it’s me not giving a fuck and wanting his shit.
Why is it that men accuse you of the very things they are doing!!
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