Aibu or is she?

[jesuispissedoff]

So I have (or had) a close friend who has decided we are no longer friends as I was disrespectful by telling a joke about how me and her partner (another close friend) jokingly flirt. We were all quite drunk and I don't actually remember telling the joke, but fair enough, I must have.

Now, she didn't tell me that she was upset with me for 2 weeks, and told me I was disrespectful and she wanted to meet up and talk about it. I apologised immediately, because honestly, I didn't want her to feel bad and if she genuinely felt disrespected, I feel guilty about that.

We still haven't met to discuss the issue, but it's given me time to think about our friendship. Her and her partner frequently have little jokes about me, whether about what wine I pick, or how I'm not in a relationship, or that I have been through a few different jobs lately. Now I normally just laugh these off, but this time away from them has made me realise that maybe they are the ones being "disrespectful" and that I shouldn't go grovelling to her, which is what she is waiting for?

I realise I sound like a 15 year old, but I don't know whether I should meet her to apologise, or just leave the friendship.

She's probably sick to death of you "jokingly flirting" with her boyfriend without you having to rub it in her face with another "joke". I really don't think that taking the piss out of someone's choice in wine is on the same level as what sounds like a pattern of inappropriate behaviour towards her partner.

I think you should just leave the friendship. She may be feeling insecure which caused her to react to your joke the way she did. But I don't think she sees you in an equal footing, she enjoys mocking you.

I think she might be concerned that you are her dp might be interested in each other. I personally wouldn't be comfortable if someone told me her and my dh flirt with each other.

Why flirt with the boyfriend though? You and him are both disrespectful imo and I wouldn’t want to be your friend

@jlynhope that is definitely not the case, apart from anything else, massive dripfeed which I forgot to say, her partner is female and I am straight.

But I appreciate that I have probably been in the wrong.

Joking about wine, etc. Is a very different thing to joking about flirting with her partner - you overstepped a boundary, probably made them both uncomfortable and now she perhaps perceive you as a threat.

I wouldn't expect her to come grovelling to you, if I'm being honest, even if you go apologising to her, I dare say that the dynamics of your friendship will have been altered somewhat.

Having said all that, sounds like your friend is making a huge issue out of it all, you've apologised, you shouldn't need to meet up and have a huge conversation about it all (which is rather confrontational)

Only you can decide whether to leave the friendship or not, but maybe raise your grievances at their previous jokes at you, in your defence, and try and laugh it off.

You don't sound "like a 15 year old".

You had a few too many, and apologised for your behaviour.
Her constant comments that are aimed at undermining you are the problem.

Drop her like a hot potato.

I don’t think it’s sounds like either of you have behaved as friends should to be honest. I’d just leave it and move on.

Hmmm, our posts crossed over - same things apply as I wrote in my last post, however sounds like an overreaction on her part OR she is perhaps wondering whether you are gay or bisexual and looking for support in coming out......