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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to talk to my neighbours 14yr old son about his loud music?

15 replies

BackToBeingMe · 25/10/2018 12:36

As I can't take it anymore, it has been going on every night since July and I am at my wits end. The mum moved out around Easter time and left the dad with the kids and I think it is all a bit much for him as they have turned into the neighbours from hell. I would speak to the dad but he is literally never home hence why we have the issue of loud music until gone 2am nearly every single night. It is disturbing us, youngest dd just started reception and has been so tired from being woken up constantly she has fallen asleep in class, dd2 who is in 6 is not fairing much better and well me and dh are knackered absolutely knackered. I have tried ear plugs for the kids but they don't seem to get on with them and actually why should my 4yr and 6yr old have to wear ear plugs every night? I have tried them myself they do dim the noise to a more bearable level but do absolutely nothing for the vibrating wall and floor. We can't move bedrooms around as our house is sideways onto theirs so all 3 bedrooms are on the wall adjoining the houses where the sons bedroom is, our garden is at the side of our house not the back but still runs parallel with their garden. I know he has been late for school not going to school as on these days the music starts around mid day instead of 3pm and carries on until early hours. So WIBU to when I see him coming home from school next to ask him/tell him politely to turn his music and bass down. I haven't knocked the door late at night as he is still a kid and home alone so fells wrong. Part of me thinks I should tell him but on the other hand I would hate for a neighbour to do this to my dd's for I don't know say being a bit loud/silly on the trampoline Or something. So mumsnet what the fuck should I do?

OP posts:
BackToBeingMe · 25/10/2018 12:37

Dd2 is age 6 that should of said sorry.

OP posts:
longwayoff · 25/10/2018 12:40

Call social services. He should be attending school andhavr a responsible adult around.

FieryGhoulie · 25/10/2018 12:42

I'd definitely have a word, kids at that age don't think about consequences to others as adults do. He might surprise you and be mortified.

You don't come across as being a confrontational person and that's the attitude to go with this. Be friendly and tell him that everyone is struggling to sleep as a result of his music at night.

If this doesn't work, I'd send DH around being less friendly and if this doesn't work, I'd send a letter through the door being downright pissed off.

Emotionalfuckwit · 25/10/2018 12:42

I don't have much advice for you but some Flowers for you as we are having similar problems and it's making me ill. I have contacted our local council today as we have tried speaking to them but they won't answer the door ( she's in her 60s and an alcoholic) she has complained about my children making noise when they make normal children noise. The council will ask for you to resolve it first and if you can't they will get involved.

Not much help but big hugs from me I hope it gets sorted soon Flowers

longwayoff · 25/10/2018 12:42

And maybe offer him some dinner if his parents are so useless.

BackToBeingMe · 25/10/2018 12:43

Isn't social services a bit extreme for loud music? He has an older sister who drives passed test this year who lives there also but she only seems to pop in for 10 minutes or so and then leaves. The music does stop when she is home

OP posts:
theodoracrainsgloves · 25/10/2018 12:48

Why on earth are you tip-toeing around the issue? Go round and bang on the door the next time it starts up and if the son refuses to turn it down say you'll be contacting the police. Also write a strongly worded letter to the dad saying you've had enough of being disturbed and if it persists you'll be making a complaint to Environmental Health.

BackToBeingMe · 25/10/2018 12:50

I think he is feed longwayoff they often have gusto boxes or similar on the door step, it probably sounds very selfish but my main concern right now is my own dd's health and well being.

OP posts:
longwayoff · 25/10/2018 12:51

Its not a punishment! Someone should be taking care of him.

BackToBeingMe · 25/10/2018 12:53

I wouldn't say I am tip-toeing around the issue per say, he is a child and I am not his parent and even for me as an adult I think I might be slightly frightened at someone bashing on my door at gone midnight. It is his age that is confusing me here nothing else.

OP posts:
theodoracrainsgloves · 25/10/2018 12:55

He's fourteen and must be well aware that his music is very loud, so going round to complain doesn't need to be frightening. If it's starting up at 3 in the afternoon, go then.

BackToBeingMe · 25/10/2018 13:03

Ok I hear you, I will women up and do it this afternoon. I have weeding that needs doing out the front so will crack on with that and the when I see him just go for it and hope it works.

OP posts:
theodoracrainsgloves · 25/10/2018 13:26

Good luck! As a PP said, chances are he'll be mortified. But if he isn't, keep a record of when you went round and what was said, for when you decide to report it. If he does object, definitely put a note through the door complaining to his dad as well. I can't imagine the dad will want any aggro with police/council if he's having to leave the son at home alone to go to work.

TeachesOfPeaches · 25/10/2018 13:41

This has been going on since Easter and you haven't said anything? If you don't want to confront him then call environmental health and report it, they will send a letter in the first instance and then send someone to record it if it is ongoing.

BitOutOfPractice · 25/10/2018 13:43

Just ask him to wear headphones (I thought all young people did anyway?) and ask him if he's OK.

Good luck OP

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