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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To withdraw my support to male friend?

3 replies

SpookymcSpookerson · 25/10/2018 11:10

AIBU? I honestly don’t know.

I’m very close to a man, we talk pretty much every day (which is more driven by him) see each other often and we give each other a lot of support. Sometimes our friendship is good but more recently I have started to wonder if we’re codependent a little.

I’m one of the only people he tells his mental health issues to outside of his family and he can be very intense at times - it’s not unusual for him to start multiple conversations a day, send many messages if I don’t reply, ask intrusive questions etc. He says he’s never had feelings for me and the one time I wondered if things were moving in that direction he then met another girl and had a fling with her.

He’s just started seeing someone that he’s excited about and falling for, but is still telling me his issues. I think that if he’s going to have a real shot with her he needs to tell her the things he tells me, but when I’ve brought it up he says he doesn’t know her well enough.

I think I should stop giving him support for his own good or is this mean and rediculous?

OP posts:
Laureline · 25/10/2018 11:22

He sounds draining to be honest.
Is he really a good friend?

Shednik · 25/10/2018 11:30

Do YOU want this close friendship and confidences with him? Is it mutually supportive?

AngelsSins · 25/10/2018 12:32

You don’t owe anyone a 24 hour counselling services. What do YOU want from this friendship? What are you comfortable with? How much does he give back? I think you’re more than reasonable to take a step back from him.

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