AIBU to think the nursery staff not good?

[SunnyG0507]

My son is 22 months now and has been this nursery since he was one. It’s a big nursery with good reviews online, so lots of kids and we completely understand the staff are very busy and not able to keep an eye on him all the time. So when he got the food allergy occurred on his 3rd day at the nursery but nobody noticed it nor thought it was seriously bad until we picked up him( although we have emphased on his health condition from the very first day and provided Priton just in case.. in the end we had to go to A & E that day), and when he got hurt on his face but no one noticed it nor knew what happened until we picked up him, etc., we tried to think they were just some unexpected accidents and wouldn’t happen again. We thought perhaps our little boy just needed some time to settle in and learned to be more independent.

However, I’m feeling more and more unhappy with the nursery staff recently. My son was moved to the toddler room at 20 months - the kids are usually staying in the baby room until 2 years old but the staff said he was “ready” to move room. Not sure whether they just need more places in the baby room as we noticed a sudden increasing number of the new babies, but we just chose to believe the staff and let him move to the toddler room, staying with kids ~ 2-3 years old. In the recent two months after moving room, my son had dirty clothes every day because the toddlers are not provided with any bibs during lunch/snack time anymore and they use the normal cups not their own ones(e.g straw cups) to drink water. We are still trying to train him for these, so being messy is acceptable and we do prepare extra clothes every day for him. However, the staff just simply took off his dirty jumper and trousers but not put on the clean ones properly, which is quite often. For example, one day when I came earlier a bit I saw they were all sitting in the dinning area. My son was only wearing a thin long sleeve T shirt and shoes, with no jumper nor trousers on at all, when all the other bigger kids were all well dressed and eating their snacks. His dirty cloths were just on the next table but no one get the clean ones for him. The staff didn't expect we were so early and explained he just took off the clothes because they were dirty. Or like today , a really windy and cold day. When picking up him, I noticed he was only wearing a thin T shirt inside his coat when playing in the garden for don’t know how long and again with no jumper on inside the coat, clean or dirty. His hands and face was extremely cold. Again, nobody noticed that he didn’t wear cloth properly and it took a long time for the staff to actually find out where his jumper was. How hard it could be to put on a clean jumper for him after taking off the dirty one? I don’t know, but the only thing I could do was asking politely the nursery staff again and again like every other morning to put on the clean clothes for him as we do prepare for this changing. The staff always said yes, happy or not, but just kept forgetting.

My son was apparently uncomfortable this evening and I felt really guilty and still wanted to cry now. AIBU to think the nursery staff is really not good and want to change to another nursery? Or is it just normal that all the nursery staff are like this?

A lot of nursery staff are lovely, caring, intelligent people who do the job because they love it. However, in my experience there are just as many, if not more people who do the job because it isn’t that hard to get onto and pass the course and they don’t know what else they want to do. When I worked in a nursery we often had students in and they all seemed to totally lack common sense. They would make a jug of squash without diluting it, they would hand out food to children without checking if any had allergies, they would have to be reminded to hold hands with the children on trips and stay with them in the busy tube train! No initiative or particular care about the children but they all passed the course.

The staff to look after my son were actually experienced staff. What made me worry is that they just didn't care. Once I saw many kids were crying but the two staff just said "you are fine" then kept on chatting. Perhaps we were just unlucky and I suppose many nursery staff are very good and thoughtful.

No I don’t think that’s normal. Especially the allergy/health issues you mention. They should be on that. To be honest if my son ended up in A&E as a result of staff not ensuring he didn’t eat food he was allergic to I would have made a formal complaint and probably taken him out of there. He could have died. Pretty poor.

I did complain for the food allergy occurred and the nursery apologised. Was not sure what to do since it was he 3rd day but now seems that we should definitely find a new nursery.

I think things like this are quite common in many (not all) nurseries. A lot of the staff, as said above, aren’t there because they love children but they just ended up there as there wasn’t much else for them to do. The care your son is getting doesn’t sound great.

Could you ask for a meeting with the creche manager? Could you try a different nursery or a childminder?

I did try to speak to the managers and the director, after the food allergy occurred and the unnoticed face hurt. Not much difference and the director was very good at defence for their staff, I.e. not listening but just keep talking how good the staff are and everything was up to the parents, etc.

Have now been trying to find a different nursery but not easy for sure ...

Find a new nursery or, better still, find a qualified, experienced person who runs a small group of young children with help.

You should definitely be looking for a new nursery. Or an Ofsted registered childminder. Your local councils will have lists.

No it shouldn’t happen and if the director isn’t prepare to listen then that makes it’s worse.
Is it a large chain?

Would you consider a childminder? I understand they are not for everyone however my 22 month old gets lots of individual attention and tailored activities from her childminder, she's fab. She is very thoughtful and I dont have any worries about info being forgotten or care not beong taken if its cold etc. We get daily photo updates on WhatsApp and I'd go there too if I could!

I’m going to tell you this, judging by half the plebs I went to college with doing a social care course, which included those wanting to work in social care, I’m not surprised at the staff in nursery’s. Get your kid into another nursery because clearly the one your kids at, the staff don’t give a shit except for the sound of ££££

My DS is 17 now, but when he was little he went to a big, busy nursery and we never had any problems like this. The staff knew all the children well, there were times he got grubby or had an accident, but he was always changed into suitable clothing, and when we collected him we were told why he was changed and any bumps or minor injuries were also explained. They were also alert to his moods and other behaviours and actually it was the nursery who first spotted the signs of what turned out to be Asperger's - diagnosed when he was 7. One time when I went to get him they said that he had been low and a bit weepy, and they, correctly, suggested he might have a urine infection. So, although busy, they were very much in tune with the children and their needs.

So yes, I think you should find another nursery. And in the meantime, be very clear with the nursery about your concerns and what you expect from them.

NOT social care, child care I meant. Wouldn’t trust them with a plant let alone a Young kid

Thanks all! For your suggestions!
The nursery is not a large chain, but a big local one. First impression was good as the building and facilities were newly refurbished. But when being there for a while you know...

Never thought about the childminder but I will try to check this info as well! Thanks for the idea!

Oh it sounds awful. I wouldn't be happy. Your poor DS sitting half dressed. Maybe try a smaller nursery setting but I'd definitely change, trust your gut on this one. They sound uncaring.

Sounds a bit rough in there I would trust your instincts and leave.

Yep I agree with Kits. Sadly some people end up in that job not for the love of working with kids but for the wage and the fact that you don't need many qualifications to do it. Trust your instincts and find another carer.

I'd pick a good childminder over a nursery any day- more of a home experience-kids are soon enough in the institution of school without starting it so early.

This all sounds very familiar and both my DC went to busy nurseries like this that were a bit rough & ready. Never anything actually dangerous but you just got the impression that staff simply didn’t have the time to care for each child in the same way a parent would. They’d often be dressed oddly and were a bit grubby when I collected them for example. If you can move him then go for it but I just wanted to reassure you that my DC both survived it and have grown up to be lovely children regardless!

Have a look at others. Mine can feel a bit chaotic but the children are loved and well cared for. Just as a contrast re the transition to the next room, mine kept my daughter in as long as she needed and had lots of settling in visits etc. They also made sure her favourite lady from the baby room was on hand for cuddles at drop off and really took their time to make her feel settled. So much of the culture is down to the manager.

I would be worried about the allergic reaction. They should be shit hot on that. My friend removed her child from a nursery when she went in one day and they didn’t seem to know the names of some of the kids. Her child had allergies and was worried if they didn’t know names, they wouldn’t have a clue about any special requirements.

That’s not normal OP. I used to work in a nursery when I was a student and nobody would have left a baby undressed or not put a jumper on them before playing outside. I can absolutely see why you want to change. Maybe a smaller nursery with a bit less going on would be better?

Many thanks all for your suggestions and kind words! Penguin sorry to hear your DC had similar experience at the nursery but good to know they survived! I've sent emails to a few nurseries, will probably also call them tomorrow and will also try to find a childminder if possible. Not sure whether the childminder will only look after one kid at each time or there is also the ratio for different ages kids, e.g. 1:3, 1:5 and 1:8?

I'd move him - apart from anything else you just can't send your dc off for the day if you have even a glimmer of worry.

More practically, I work in childcare and never would I ever let a child be dressed badly for the temp. It's just really uncaring I'm usually running after them waving a cardigan to no avail

Ex Nursery Manager here.

Take your son out and find a better provider.

This one is shoddy and poor and is compromising your child's Health and Safety.

Regarding inexperienced and inept staff, yes unfortunately that happens. A good setting will provide adequate training for them, a good mentor / supervisor for them and will
ensure performance improves drastically otherwise they will be taken down the disciplinary route.

Definitely remove your son from the setting her is currently in.

Good luck.

Are there any other nurseries near you? My children to to a very small nursery and love it, the care is excellent.