Aibu to keep my options open - going back to work after baby?

[canihaveanap]

What do people do? Do I need to decide now or can I take my mat leave and then decide if I want my job after that or not?

For what it's worth- I'm a graduate (newly graduated) with good career prospects but I am in a low paid full time position that has got me through uni.

I've worked all my life and we are due dc3. I returned to work after 7mo with dc1 and 11m with dc2.

I have a spinal cord injury which is the part that makes everything so hard. Holding down a job for the last few years has been mentally as well as physically exhausting, just getting myself there and focusing and getting home. The normal things. My life outside of work has reduced to virtually nothing. I come home from work and I'm so exhausted I sleep from 8pm right through. Dh is having to do the lions share of the housekeeping and I am finding it hard to have the energy to parent properly with patience.
I am young and feel pressured to be able to achieve the same as others my age, but mostly just the same as what I would have been able to achieve had my injury not happened. I know I put too much pressure on myself and feel like I have to do everything. I need to work to be financially ok, but the last few years have been impossible and I feel like I'm pushing myself to do so much more than I physically can.
I'm pregnant with dc3. I'm planning on going back to work after mat leave but absolutely dreading it. I don't want to definitely rule out going back right now as it feels too soon and I haven't even spoken to dh about how I feel properly yet but I feel like the best thing this time would be for me to take 2-3 years break and put the strain financially on dh, it sounds selfish but nursery fees are so expensive and I'm killing myself just trying to hold down a job to pay somebody hundreds of pounds to watch my child.
That's not a dig at nursery staff, we have an amazing nursery I couldn't be happier with and the experience for the children is second to none but it's not worth me feeling like this for, I'm not earning much more than Nursery fee's. I'm still trying to work out in my head whether Iabu or not but if dh is on board, would I be able to just let work know while I was on mat leave that I did not plan to return or would that be too late?
Help? So confused !

Also if you read all of that you are a saint!

YANBU to keep your options open. After a year off, you may feel very differently to how you do now. I've known women who were adamant they'd go back, who changed their minds. More to the point, I've known women who always planned to be sahms, who changed their minds. Start the discussion with your DH, but don't commit yourself to anything yet. Congratulations and good luck, whatever you decide!

Have your baby, take the full year off and see how you feel. Take care, it sounds hard. Would going back PT be an option?

It depends a bit on your Mat leave T&Cs at work I think. I get company maternity pay and if I don’t return to work aftwatds for at least 6 months then I have to repay it. So I’m my case I’d rather tell them and not get the pay then have to repay a huge lump. As long as you aren’t facing anything like that then I think it’s up to you when you decidex

Have a chat with your OH.
No employer should be asking your mag leave plans whilst your pg. Check out your employer's policy - a lot only require you to let them know 8 weeks before you go back.

Now relax, enjoy your pregnancy and make the decision when you're ready!

Part time is an option but I think it's all or nothing just until baby is eligible for 3 year funding.
I don't want to take a career break but a big part of me feels I really need the time to adjust and try and have some form of quality of life again.
Part time wouldn't make as much sense financially or in terms of the balance I need. I need to try and get myself back on my feet - literally!