Gender disappointment

[mumofhreegirls]

I know this is a very real thing and I've been lucky not to experience it. I absolutely adore having 3 daughters. However, my partner is seriously grieving for not having a boy.

It's never been any secret that he'd love a boy, with every pregnancy he hoped and prayed for a boy yet we got girls. It has always bothered him.

His sister has just found out she's expecting her first baby and low and behold it's a boy. He's so jealous, has had a face on him for a few days since she found out and it's obvious it's about that. The way he speaks to our girls sometimes it's like he resents them for not being boys. He hates that they like girly things. He never, ever, ever wants to play with them because they're all into barbie like dolls at the moment and he can't bear it.

I know he's being unreasonable and it's absolutely driving me insane. Has anyone else or their partners experienced anything of the same and please tell me it passes?

Gender disappointment only happens at all in the heads of sexists. Your daughters are unfortunate not to have a decent dad.

Honestly I’d leave him. Won’t play with his own children? I feel desperately sorry for them.

@tenorladybeaker - agree.

Unless you are forcing your child to do a sport like boxing, most children enjoy doing a variety of things with one of their parents simply because they get to spend time having fun and having the attention of that parent.

@mumofhreegirls zero sympathy with your OH, masses of sympathy with your daughters!

I'd been asking him to leave, it's too damaging for your children otherwise!

Are you sure the refusal to play thing is related to the gender disappointment? A lot of people don't like "playing" with their children, because tbf the games they like are boring. Even if he had boys who played with cars for example, it's not like they would be out the back restoring an old car together at this age. It would be more like watching as baby rams toy cars together and yells.

Don't let him use it an excuse to avoid parenting.

I had "gender disappointment" when I found out we were having a son. But I got over it and I love him more than anything - wouldn't swap him for the world.

It is definitely a real thing, but it's a pointless thing. It would be like being disappointed the sun has set. You have no control over it (well in this country anyway)

This thread is so depressing. Your husband is being more than unreasonable. He's mean, sexist and unkind. I don't get all this "gender disappointment". I would love a little girl but honestly, I'll take what I can get and love every minute of it. If you want a child you need to be willing to play the 50-50 game and feel like a winner either way.

I am so sad to read about your husband. It's appalling and desperately sad. I say this as a woman and the only child my mum and dad have. My dad is not a girly dad. Not a fan of pink. Doesn't like long hair on women (in fact his celebrity crushes are all incredibly androgynous women). Is into cars and boats. Etc. Etc. But he is the most loving dad I could have ever hoped for. I grew up with a love of fashion, interior design and vintage from my mum and a love of motorbikes, cars, basketball and fishing from my dad. I cannot fathom how as a father you could be sexist against your own children. So sad.

And if your DH actually had a son, who didn't satisfy his Dad's wants, what then? I suspect he'd be just as disappointed as he is with his daughters.

I do honestly think your daughters would be better off without this arse in their lives, he's already doing them so much damage.

I'm amazed that I feel so angry about this. Maybe it's resurrecting memories I'd put aside about the difference between my mother's and my father's attitudes. The difference is that my Dad was the great parent, and I lived with him when my parents divorced when I was 13. I never had a decent relationship with my mother.