Hello!
Long time lurker but this is my first post as I really need some clarity and advice - please.
Difficult start to the year which ended my long term relationship. It was a mutual decision and a diffuclt one. He moved out but we kept in touch as there was no nastiness or bad feelings.
The relationship was always up and down, he wasn't very nice to me at times and I felt a lack of repsect and affection. But of course there were good times too.
We agreed to meet up a few times, I thought it was going to be as if we were dating again, just taking it slow. I had been honest with how I felt during our time together and I know it is a difficult situation, but it really didn't feel like dating at all. It just seemed odd and I couldn't see how things were changing for the best.
So the AIBU - he asked me weeks ago to keep a date free as he wanted to go out for the day together. I agreed. However, something far more important has come up on that date now and I would be devastated to not attend this other thing. So i told him and I was honest.
His initial response was one word answers and he proceeded to say why didn't I say no, so I explained. He sent a long text about how he wasn't trying to blackmail but... (won't repeat it all).The short of it is he made me feel really terrible. I know that he was disappointed but anyone would understand the situation. This went on and on and to be honest has made me really rethink how unhealthy these date/non date meetings are.
So now he has asked do I want to rearrange. I really don't think I do. I have said that I didn't meant to disappoint him, I can see why I did, but I am not sure how healthy we're being to each other and the recent texting has proved it.
He has always been quite emotionally abusive. We're not together anymore and I still feel very anxious about this all and the texts are still coming - how he doesn't understand at all and only said he was disappointed, but that isn't very true.
Sorry for rambling a bit - do you think AIBU to not want to rearrange the inital day out?