To saying No to Trick-or-Treating

[MumofTwoBoys95]

I have two boys (Aged 5 and 2)

My eldest son is in reception and he's made plenty of wonderful friends. One of the Mums asked me if I'd let my Son go trick-or-treating, a group of them are going and there'd be plenty of adults. I can't remember what I said exactly, I think it was something along the lines of "Oh, I'm sorry but we don't celebrate Halloween" and I said some other stuff, but I kept it all very respectable

I don't ever remember going out late at night, knocking on people's doors. I always got a big bag of sweets that I could never finish and I got to watch Disney films until I was asleep on the sofa

AIBU for doing the same things with my little ones that my parents did with me

You sound unhinged! What a truly vile thing to say to a mother who was merely extending an invitation to you!! You can do whatever you want of course with your own children, but your insensitivity is astounding! 🙄

I think you would have come across as precious, defensive and weird. It sounds like you would rather not let her supervise your child, and didn't have a good reason to hand? Why didn't you just leave it as "we don't celebrate"? You'll have this battle every year till you cave BTW.

If you want to be a joy sponge like your parents then drive on. Which do you think your ds would prefer? Going out having fun with his friends, dressing up? Or sitting on a couch with his joyless mother eating sweets (Don't forget the e numbers 😉) watching Disney??? Although it seems hereditary so he might prefer the boring option that can be done any other night of the week

Do you never take your children outside? Abduction doesn't just happen at Halloween.

Mine are younger than yours and won't be going but I'm not against possibly going with friends in the future. We'll put a pumpkin out and buy some sweets. I'm looking forward to it, there's lots of young families around here and the kids will look so sweet all dressed up.

YANBU to do or not do what you like with your children when it comes to activities but to criticise other parents in such a hysterical way (do you know how unusually warm it is outside right now?) was rather rediculous. One of the other parents had a kid snatched and you actually said that?! That was a dick move.

I think what stumped the other Mothers is when I commented that I'd rather have my children safe and warm inside than snatched by someone off the street - Which happened to the Woman who suggested it to me, she got her child back of course but it's best to be safe than sorry yea. I totally believe everything you've just said.

I dont mind my DD trick or treating or trick or treaters, its a bit of fun FGS.

I hate the term "making memories" but i love to look back at my halloween days of wearing a bin bag with some naff plastic fangs. i want to have time that my DD can look back on, not "oh i was never allowed to do that because of such a reason". Kids need to be able t o have fun in this PC/snowflakey generation

Also, the other woman probably doesn’t want to live her life in fear. Good for her for moving on from a terrible event.

ALSO, at reception they wouldn’t be going in their own would they.

Goady fuckery is at foot here.

YANBU to say no, but next time just say no and try not to so unpleasant to people fgs.

ha ha, what?

Your comment is extremely weird though. I think you are are picking up on some insecurities your parents instilled, why were you kept inside?

You are depriving your child of a lovely experience. Your child is less likely to be abducted because there are far more parents/children out on the streets.

Go with them, live a little!

Actually I just read your comment about the womans child being snached off the street and you commenting on it. You're an unpleasant person.

I wasn't here last year (or I don't remember) ...
Is AIBU going to be flooded by made up Halloween stories for next week?

I think you were dude and OTT to the other mums.

It's fine if you don't want to do trick or treating but a simple 'no thank you, we have already made other plans' would have sufficed. You really didn't need to go into a lengthy explanation of your reasons and make others feel bad.

Rude not dude - stupid phone!

Safety is in numbers, and trick/treaters normally go as a group, so you have LESS chance of your child being kidnapped at that time, and much more chance during the day when not many other people are around to notice.

@PerverseConverse I'm not sure what being a vegetarian has to do with it. Vegetarians don't eat meat, they can eat sweets. Most vegetarians I know indulge in the occasional sweets or chocolates. The only thing vegetarians can't eat, is meat. Sweets can be eaten freely. Unless you are very very restrictive with eating no sugar ever, which is unrealistic.

Yanbu for saying no if that’s what you want

But your response is a quite weird

SalemBlackCat4 It depends how you practise your vegetarianism, some eat eggs, some don't, some eat dairy, some don't, some use animal byproducts, some don't.
Some sweets are suitable for vegetarians, most aren't.
HTH

Quite a few of the sweets given out at Halloween, such as Haribo and quite a few of the chewy lollies, contain gelatin, so aren't suitable for vegetarians. I always make sure that I have plenty of veggie stuff, though, and the kids get to pick out their own sweets, so the veggie/non-gelatin eating ones can just choose something they can eat.

@UseditUpandWoreitOut I used to be vegetarian myself. What you are talking about is Vegan, which is far far more restrictive. A person who doesn't eat animal byproducts, by the very definition is, Vegan. Not Vegetarian. Unless the sweets are made of meat, they are 100% suitable for Vegetarians. But most likely not for Vegans.

I don't get the annual T or T hysteria on MN.

When my dcs were tiny I held a Halloween party at home for my Mum-friends and their dcs. Great fun.

However when they got to about 7/8 they wanted to go out TT'ing with their friends (and their parents flowing closely behind).
Where we live it's massive. Akin to a Street festival. People decorate their windows with tissue paper silhouettes (there's a local competition). Theirs pumpkins galore in gardens and in the streets. There's so many people on the pavements and at houses it such a great atmosphere. Older people used used to bake little cakes especially. Even so, everything was pretty much over by 7.30pm.

Now all the dcs are teens. They're not bothered about TTing although they still like to carve an elaborate pumpkin.

I'm so glad we did TT'ing. It was great fun while it lasted. And yes, I'm knocking on 50 and me and my friends used to do it and I have great memories too.

So OP, there's nothing wrong with doing whatever you want with your dcs. However to say what you said to the other Mum was very weird and rude. She was only trying to include your dcs in a community event.

I forgot about the gelatin. But in all honesty I've never come across a vegetarian that really even thought about gelatin, much less cared about it. As long as it isn't flesh. I don't doubt there are some who do though.

Most of the vegetarian kids i know don't eat gelatin (and not do the Muslim or Jewish ones) so I always check for party bags etc.

@SalemBlackCat4 Nope, you were one vegetarian.
Some vegetarians don't eat eggs but eat dairy products.
When I said byproducts, I wasn't just talking about food. Leather, wool, cosmetics...
All personal to the vegetarian or vegan who practises it their way, each to their own, eh?