To feel jealous over DM's bond with her sister?

[Hocusypocus]

My DM is very close to her sister but rarely bothers with me and my DC.

She spends almost every bit of her free time with her sister but is forever letting me down when we make plans, she never calls or picks up the phone unless she's at a loose end and needs something.. but she talks to her Dsis on the phone two to three times a day and spends most days in her company.

My Dbro is treat very much the same although he doesn't seem too bothered about it, I am.

We'd planned to have supper and a catch up tonight but she called me and cancelled last minute to say she's decided to go to her sisters and have a drink instead.

I'd say the pair are co-dependant but that doesn't take away from the sadness I feel that she'd rather spend all of her time with her, than any at all with her own daughter and grandchildren.

I've now gotten to be quite resentful toward her sister as a result of it.

AIBU to feel bitter?

Divert the energy wasted on your DM towards your own children. Her loss.

Yanbu. That must be so tough. Their relationship certainly doesn’t sound healthy either.

That's fine OP DM and her DSis can be each other's goto when they need assistance later in life. Perhaps they can move in together and be each other's Carers when the time comes. Love, time and attention that is begrudgingly given is worth less than nothing. Look to your own family and let DM get on with it.

Yanbu. Was she always this way, when you were growing up?

Your dm shouldn’t have pulled out at this late notice - that’s just rude.

My mum preferred to do her own thing after my dad died. She said she’d done her baby raising and didn’t want to do any more. Some people just aren’t very involved grandparents, which is fair enough I suppose.

Your mum probably has more in common with her sister, same age, interests, no children.

Have a pizza and UNO night with your dcs instead.

Shared childhoods create bonds.

It’s terrible that your dm let you down at the last minute like that.
Did you let her know you were upset?
How do you get on with your brother?

My dm is the same with her sister. I try to avoid that side of the family for other reasons, which my dm hates. It has gotten worse since their mother died and they do seem very reliant on each other.

it's annoying as I know she would prefer to be with her sister than me, but it's her choice in the end.

Perhaps try inviting your aunt along with your DM.

She knows I'm upset about it but doesn't very much care to discuss that or she'd any light on why she's developed a habit of cancelling on us last minute or switching her phone off and just not bothering to turn up which is another of her ways, where I'm concerned anyway.

My aunt is very "me me me" and I try to keep contact with her to a minimum, I did have a brief conversation with her last night via text as she asked how me and the DC were so I (politely) told her I'm a little disheartened that we've been chinned off in favour of her for the umpteenth time this year.

Aunt responded with "well I'm in the same position as you because I'd like to see or hear more from (me, my DP, my Dbro and Sil)"

Am I alone in thinking that the mother daughter / mother and son relationship is slightly more relevant than that of the extended family?