Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask you to sort out my life?!

6 replies

theonetowalkinthesun · 23/10/2018 20:07

First time poster, long term lurker so please be nice!

I have always struggled on how to manage to do all the things I need to do each week without compromising on some part of my life. I know I can't be the only one who has ever found this hard!

To make this clearer, I'll give some examples:
-if I make myself get really good at ringing old friends and loved ones, I find that I've eaten into time I could have had to relax, or time with my partner, and now the rest of the evening is just dinner, errands and bed!
-if I make myself do well at fitting in exercise as well and cooking healthily and exciting each night, I find myself getting to bed late and waking up grumpy in the mornings.
-if I make myself go out and be social (because I have the tendency to isolate myself!), I can end up not getting much done on my essays (I am doing a course alongside my job)!
-And when I do make myself concentrate on the essays, I get rubbish at keeping in contact with people I love!

Something always gives!

So onto my AIBU (I know it's not really one!), AIBU to ask you for help on how you organise your week/time/life so that you do all the things you want to do without compromise?!

How do you manage to fit in going to work, time with your partner, cooking healthy meals, exercise, ringing the people you love, being social, having time to yourself, working out the logistics of your week, studying(if you're also doing a course), saving money, keeping in contact with old friends and loved ones, going to bed at a reasonable time?!
(I don't have DCs)

The current things I've started to do to help:

  • cooking a huge portion and freezing the excess meals
-use the time I might spend staring into space (e.g. on a bus) to ring the people I want to catch up with. -empty the dishwasher whilst the microwave or oven is on -try and catch up with a few friends in a group meet-up rather than seeing each one one-on-one
  • I don't iron (thanks MN!) and I tend not to wear make up or straighten my hair daily

Any other tips for what you do?!

OP posts:
kayakingmum · 23/10/2018 20:19

I'm not the most organised person but I'm a big believer in good habits and having time slots for different things.
I work part time 3 days a week so they're my work days (obviously) and I don't do much else on those days. I nearly always go to bed at around 11:00 and up at 7:00 (I don't think you can function properly without sleep) and I've recently started doing the organised mum thing (30mins on a room in the house a day. This works really well for me).
I also love trips - especially ones that involve Kayaking as you can probably guess. If I have the opportunity to go I go because it makes me happy. Other things, like housework can wait.

My key bits of advice is to work out what is most important to you and not to have expectations that are too high. I always think I can get more done than I do, but it's hard to be realistic. Try not to stress to much.

Cantchoosenickname · 23/10/2018 20:37

I could have posted these exact same words! I’m also stuck on a never ending cycle of not having enough time/energy to fit everything in and something always gets dropped. I’m watching for advice.

Givemeallyourcucumber · 23/10/2018 20:42

Be realistic and let go of the guilt. No one is perfect. Some people have nannies some people have cleaners some people have loads of money some people have nothing.

Decide what is important to you and the rest can wait.

For me the important things everyday are:

Get DCs to school on time, clean and fed.

Do 1 load of washing a day.

Clean kitchen to perfection every night and lay out breakfast stuff for the next morning.

Tidy away all toys

Make sure everyone has enough clean clothes.

Get out the house. Go to baby group, walk, park or see a friend. Basically fresh air and a bit of socialising.

Cook a meal everyone will enjoy.

Quick wipe around bathroom and make beds.

Get DCs from.school on time, with a snack for the walk home and have something for them to do when we get home.

Hang out with DH in the evening if we are both at home.

Get some good sleep (tough one)

Not sure if this is helpful but I am a stay at home mum and spent a lot of time feeling guilty about not being perfect.
Now I just try my best, enjoy my days and prioritie what I think is important toe and my family.

Loopytiles · 23/10/2018 20:42

Do you work full time? How many hours per week study is the course? IME working FT plus study and domestics leaves very little leisure time.

If you live together does your DP do half the domestic work?

formerbabe · 23/10/2018 20:44

Honestly, I'm a sahm of school age DC and I still don't fit everything in...I have not got my shit together at all!

Christobel51 · 24/10/2018 22:13

I feel the same way OP.... Whenever I get it together in one area, I drop the ball in another! I'm hoping for some good tips perhaps. Cucumbers advice was good, I a a SAHM too so it's a good place to start!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page