To not tell MIL our business

[Chompchompchomp]

Long story short.

Never really liked MIL, eventually went NC however DH visits every few weeks without me.

One of the problems I had was how self obsessed she is. She shows no intetest in anything unless it revolves around her. Whatever the conversation she'll always manage to turn it so it makes things appear worse for her. If you have a cold she has the flu that sort of thing.

Anyway, my DH has got to the point now where he won't tell her anything because he knows she won't be interested anyway. He didn't tell her when we got a new car, when he got a promotion at work. If we go anywhere or do anything nice he won't mention it in conversation. He just visits knowing he'll just sit there for two hours listening to the ins & outs of a fart with her life without so much as an how's things with you to my DH.

Do you think DH is BU not telling her what is going on in our lives or should DH say something so she is aware of how he feels?

I think it is entirely up to your DH and his mother what they do or do not discuss during visits. If your MiL wanted to know about your DH's life, wouldn't she ask and if DH wanted to tell her would he just say?

Think we have the same MIL

If she shows zero interest and doesn’t ask questions then she can’t care very much. I wouldn’t bother either

I don't tell my parents anything. They're rarely that bothered about what I do, and want to talk for hours about Dsis and my DD. It's just the way they are, I've learnt that it makes things easier if I just accept it, rather than not getting the reaction I want when telling them news. I don't think it's unreasonable to withhold information, and I don't think you'd need to tell her why.

Are you my SIL?!

Sooner or later someone she knows will probably mention something about your lives which she doesn't know about. At that point she may wake up to her immensely self-centred attitude. Or not.

In the meantime YANBU not to tell her stuff. Your DH probably finds it less trouble and also less painful than telling her and seeing that she blatantly doesn't give a shit.

My mum was a bit like that. It was difficult at times. This is your husband's problem though, not yours - good luck to him :-).

She must have at least one good point - she had him!

If she doesn't care anyway, what's the point telling her?

When my DH comes home he'll comment that she hasn't asked him anything about what is going on with him however he'll know where she's been, who with, how much money she spent, what she ate, where she's going on holiday, what home improvements she's making, all about work, her friends. I find it very hard to believe she doesn't realise how self obsessed she is.

DH will (reluctantly) text inbetween visits to ask how she is to which she'll reply and tell him but won't say how are you back. So infuriating.