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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wibu....selling my self short?

11 replies

Inapickleoflife · 23/10/2018 17:50

Been out of the workplace for a few years to study and with the dc. Had big ambitions to do something science related and hopefully work in an industry that is pretty full on and stressful with what seems like a poor work like balance. Before working that seemed like a good idea and I was ok with the sacrifice of family time. Been in my new job for under a year. It's the beginning of my career and a stepping stone to what I hope to be doing. Will take me around 5/6 years (if I progress the way I had intended and get the training I need to move up to where I would like to end up ) to get to the point of earning good money but like I say I will have a pretty poor work life balance because of shift work and long hours.

Saw a job advertised today for a school science technician in a local school. I like kids and would love to work in a school. But the most appealing part is that it's term time only. Obviously it's science based but I would hardly use any of the stuff I've learnt studying and there is no career progression.

Mentioned it to dh this afternoon who said I would be selling myself short and it's not the ambitious job I should be doing. He thinks it would be a waste of my studies and skills.
I can imagine really enjoying the role but I can see where he's coming from and it isn't something that will challenge me.

So here's my aibu- wibu to apply for a job that isn't what I originally planned on and that doesn't utilise my skill set but would give me lots of time with the kids but poor pay and no progression. Is it unreasonable to sell my self short for the sake of a lovely work-life balance even if I do have to quash the ambitious side of my personality?

Wibu to think people do this all the time, I'm sure there are load of people who want something career wise but compromise.

OP posts:
Inapickleoflife · 23/10/2018 17:54

Just wanted to say that I'm not being negative about any jobs/tech roles. Hope it didn't come across that way. I think all jobs are good and long as the person doing them is happy doing them. None are higher/lower just different.

OP posts:
florafawna · 23/10/2018 17:57

You can't cuddle work!

Timeforabiscuit · 23/10/2018 17:57

Does your husband truly think that your selling yourself short, or is he feeling the burden of carrying the family financially?

If the most appealing thing to you is term time only, i think that is very telling of where your priorities are, your not going to have much joy in progressing if your staring out of the window at the sunshine!

AdoreTheBeach · 23/10/2018 17:57

Hi OP. Only you can really answer that question. What is important to people / priorities changes over time. There’s many out there even with second careers after having put in many years in careers they ultimately didn’t enjoy or got burnt out.

So you’re not being unreasonable if now you have decided this is what you would wish to do. However, do consider that when the DC are older you may not have the same opportunities to progress where you wanted to get to. On the plus side, you will have had the work - life balance for those years. If you you’ll be satisfied with that, then go ahead and apply for the job.

GreenTulips · 23/10/2018 18:00

Work out the 'savings' from being around in the holidays and add that you the salary advertised and see how that works financially

Ok TA not where you want to be but it will be an easy option for the short term while the kids are little.

You can always progress later

cricketmum84 · 23/10/2018 18:00

I've just applied for the same role (wonder if it's the same school!!). I've worked in a very heavy going career for 14 years now and have reached epic burnout level. I resigned last week so now looking for something term time only that I don't need a specific qualification for.

My kids are 9 and 14 and before I know it they aren't going to want to spend time with me in the holidays anymore. Making the most of this short time together matters more to me than slogging away until midnight trying to sustain a career that was breaking me.

Inapickleoflife · 23/10/2018 18:01

Does your husband truly think that your selling yourself short, or is he feeling the burden of carrying the family financially?

Nope he's not feeling the burden of carrying the family financially. Definitely that he thought I was ambitious and was waiting until the time was right to get a career for myself that I would find (mostly) fulfilling.

OP posts:
Doyoumind · 23/10/2018 18:04

It won't be long before your DC are bigger and don't need you around as much. At that point you could have really damaged your career and the opportunities open to you now might not be so accessible. If there's no progression are you willing to be unchallenged doing the same job for years?

SaucyJack · 23/10/2018 18:08

It sounds perfect for you from what you’ve said. Don’t let your husband piss on your chips.

Inapickleoflife · 23/10/2018 18:38

Doyoumind ( sorry I don't know how to tag) I have a teenager and a toddler and I'm finding the teen seems to need me around more now she's older. This is my dilemma I suppose. I always assumed they would need me less as they got older so I timed my studying and when I would get a career for myself around that but I underestimated how much more they would need me at the teenage stage. My middle dc is fine he isn't really bothered about it but my eldest is and I can see how tricky it will be to balance that as they all go through different stages. Maybe I'm just having a wobble in my (fairly new) role as I'm out of the house so much at the moment and it will only get more full on if I follow the path I'm set on. It's not guilt I feel, more that I'm trying to work out what the best balance of everyone's need are while also trying to have something for me. The usual dilemma as a parent I suppose. I wonder if I look back when they've all grown up and wish I took the path of being around more rather than fulfilling a need for a career I want and all that comes with it.

OP posts:
QuickPollPlease · 23/10/2018 18:51

A TA job is challenging, busy, stressful and not well paid.

If the other job is the start of a career you want, I would stick with it.

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