Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

14 year old wants to go to the cinema completely on her own

57 replies

curious2 · 23/10/2018 13:35

My 14 year old dd wants to go to the cinema completely by herself - obviously with friends and no adults it’s been fine for a while now, but she wants to go just by herself.

I am not sure about this - what do you think?

I am just worried that being on her own and a young girl, she could be targeted by any weirdos potentially present. I know there probably won’t be any weirdos present, but I feel that she might be vulnerable without the presence of vocal and supportive friends.

Really not sure on this - what do you think?

OP posts:
spanishwife · 23/10/2018 14:04

I LOVE going to the cinema on my own, it's fantastic. I think it's amazing she has so much confidence and can enjoy her own company at that age.

However - that's the exact lie I would have told my parents if I wanted to meet a boy in secret!!

Either way, I don't think it's anything to worry about. As long as she is a sensible girl and knows her boundaries, then she will be fine either way.

I would maybe just set some boundaries e.g. clear timings or arrangements for drop off and pick up if you are concerned.

crabapplecrumble · 23/10/2018 14:10

I wouldn't worry about this at all unless it's about the journey home e.g. if it's late or a long distance from home. I actually think it's good for teenagers to feel confident about doing things like this alone and not thinking they can't do something if they don't have a friend who also wants to go.

DailyMailFail101 · 23/10/2018 14:12

14 year olds don’t do anything alone, definitely a date! 😁

ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 23/10/2018 14:14

I doubt many predators would pay good money to go to the cinema regularly on the slightest offchance that there might be a suitable target there. Much easier and cheaper to go to a park or similar. Your DD will be fine.

ShatnersWig · 23/10/2018 14:14

@DailyMail I went to the cinema on my own quite regularly actually between the ages of 12 and 18. In fact, never had a date at the cinema until I was 21.

FissionChips · 23/10/2018 14:15

I even been going to the cinema on my own since about 12, never ever had any weirdos target me.
Shopping centres seem to be where most perverts target IME.

CandyCreeper · 23/10/2018 14:20

i my mum allowing my 9 year old brother to go to the cinema alone so 14 seems more than fine.

CandyCreeper · 23/10/2018 14:22

*i remember

Ifoundanacorn · 23/10/2018 14:24

She is meeting a boy there and doesn't want you to know. Wave her off and tell her to talk to staff if she has any problems.

Alexandra2018 · 23/10/2018 14:25

She's not completely on her own you put with friends? So you mean with no adults which is fine for a group of 14 year olds

Alexandra2018 · 23/10/2018 14:27

I've mis read this rushing! I think she will still be fine it's probably a date!! She if she wants a lift home or anything? Maybe her mates don't want to watch this one and she really does?

Rebecca36 · 23/10/2018 14:27

Seems quite normal to me. Nice to do things on your own sometimes.

KnobZombie7 · 23/10/2018 14:30

Of course she should be allowed to go on her own. She's 14 and you shouldn't need to worry unless she's led a particularly sheltered life or is drastically less mature than the 'average' 14-year old.

twosoups1972 · 23/10/2018 14:32

14 year olds don’t do anything alone, definitely a date

Rubbish (unless you're joking). My slightly older dd loves going to the cinema by herself.

Bit of an odd question OP, do you worry generally about her being out and about by herself?

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 23/10/2018 14:33

I’m quite sad that people don’t believe a 14 year old wants some time to herself.

It’s possible that she is meeting someone, but equally likely that - as she said - she wants to go somewhere by herself. Whatever you do OP, please don’t make her feel like a weirdo for enjoying her own company. It’s great that she feels able to be independent.

twosoups1972 · 23/10/2018 14:34

Agreed rabbithole

notacooldad · 23/10/2018 14:35

I was 14 when I started going to the cinema by myself.
My mum hated me going because she thought I had no friends.
I did but we didn't always like the same things.
I had to get the bus into the city to go to the pictures and I loved it.
I still do at my age ( 50s)

My mum had a fit when I started travelling by myself but has got used to it now after many decades!

My point of view is why should I miss out on something if no one else fancies something or not available.

Weathermonger · 23/10/2018 14:35

My 14 yo daughter has done that a few times. My husband or I drop her off, make sure she has her ticket and are back waiting when the movie finishes. She has her phone and it's never been an issue.

notacooldad · 23/10/2018 14:39

twosoups
14 year olds don’t do anything alone, definitely a date
So you know about every 14 year old then!

I loved time by myself!
I work with teens and a lot of them like to do stuff by themselves from time to time such as the cinema as they live in chaotic , noisy and dysfunctional houses and they like the calm.
I am not implying the OPs DD lives like this and I didn't either but I liked time out to do my own thing without compromising and still do.

JaniceBattersby · 23/10/2018 14:40

Have a read about Laura Dekker. In preparation to circumnavigate the globe (which she did aged 15/16) she crossed the English Channel alone. When she got here, the British authorities were so horrified they put her in a children’s home and ordered her dad to come and collect her. He did, then put her in her boat and flew home himself.

I think your 14 year old will be fine to go to the cinema.

notacooldad · 23/10/2018 14:41

Sorry 😐 twosoups
I highlighted the wrong name!

Original poster
curious2 · 23/10/2018 14:41

She does do other stuff by herself I hasten to add (!) - it is just something about the dark space and being “captive” there for a couple of hours - but maybe that is actually a bonus.

She is very independent and sensible. She suffers from OCD, and ever since that started (two years ago), she has let old friendships go and the new ones she has made are purely school based - she hardly ever sees friends out of school. She is definitely not meeting anyone there.

Thanks for all your messages. She will probably go with her Dad and brother tomorrow now - as they are going anyway to see the same film, but next time she asks I will say yes.

OP posts:
Cambalamb · 23/10/2018 14:43

Why does she want to go alone?

twosoups1972 · 23/10/2018 14:46

She's not 'captive', how silly. She can walk out any time she chooses.

mindutopia · 23/10/2018 14:51

I flew on a plane by myself (not as an unaccompanied minor, just on my own, got a taxi when I got to the other end) at 14. If shes sensible, I’m sure she’ll be fine.