to expect or even hope that parents will RSVP to party invitations?

[bookwormmum]

Even if it's just to say 'bog off'. I would like some idea of whether I should expect 22 children or none! .

No you're not being unreasonable at all, but some parents can be really unfair, it's only manners to let you know. It really winds me up when they don't let me know either!!

I reply

Can your child give you any indication?

i reply. thats what RSVP means, no?

YANBU. We're meant to be having a barbecue today for our daughter's 1st birthday. We're a bit thrown off course by the torrential rain! But we still have some people (our next door neighbours and their 2 kids amongst others) who haven't been arsed to reply

We had to order all the barbecue food on Thurs, so I am all set to tell them there's no food for them if they DO turn up

However...what is worse IMO is people who SAY they are coming and then DON'T

If you're using the invitation in the books bag method, then it's quite possible the parent hasn't seen it. I know that I've been "guilty" of not replying but it's been because the invitation is stuffed into a locker somehwere.

it's rude, but completely 'normal' behaviour

oh shit

I expect most of them will turn up in the end but it's the terrible fear that they'll all have something better to do that day! FWIW, I do reply when my dd gets invited to things - just in case they withdraw the invitation for not RSVPing!! .

We generally only find out about parties when an annoyed mum wanders up and asks if dd is coming ... at which point dd generally says "Oh yeah, I left the invitation in my drawer at school". So don't assume that your non-respondants are all ignorant cows who can't be bothered to let you know - some of us just have children who are away with the fairies!

Or what sometimes happens is there is a reply but it is at the bottom of a book bag completely forgotten about.

Dd3's class mums have got into the habit of specifying a date when they would like a reply by and if people haven't replied by then then the party parent just phones round or emails via google groups.

My dd is the same WWB. I know it's fatal leaving things in her bag for her to hand in to school - I've even put envelopes into her hand in her class line and it somehow gets overlooked by her and comes out again in her book bag . She does thrust party invitations at me though her homework is shoved in her bag any old how - I can see where her priorities lie .

I am feeling so reading this thread. I did not reply to the last two invites that DS1 received. I wrote the times, locations and dates on the calendar but misplaced the invitations with the phone numbers. I am not usually this disorganised.

DS1 did tell his mates that he would be there but somehow the message must not have gotten through to the second mum because she asked me at the first party is DS1 was going to attend her ds's party as well...

I will send a thank you note in the hopes of making amends.

My DD isn't at school yet, but maybe some alpha-mum type comment about how they obviously don't do a lot of reading in their house (as not looking in book bag!) might shame them into replying

I once called up parents to find out as we'd booked an activity and needed an idea of numbers. No one minded that I called them.

i find putting mobile number and 'reply by text is fine' helps get more responses. we have missed parties because the invitation is left in the drawer, somehow the kids always think this is my fault!

I reply to friend's invitations, but don't see the point of inviting every child in say my DS's nursey class (last one was to a SISTER'S first b'day).

I don't know the child, or the parent, so what's the point of even being invited? (Can see though if I was knew to an area it would be a good way to meet people).

If I was going to a party, I would always let the host know!

is it ok to text a reply,or is that rude?

Text replies would be fine but I didn't put my mobile number on there!! I changed it last year and so far I've not even told the school my new number yet so I doubt if any of the parents have it either.

I think I'll just ask some of them outright if they're coming - probably easiest all round .

Got 2 more replies today.... they are trickling in .