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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if this man is taking the piss?

4 replies

Foxsbiscuits · 23/10/2018 11:43

I have a friend who's been dating this guy since May, they're both in their early 30s she's got one DS, and he's got two DDs . I'm worried on my friends behalf because I have been with someone like him, so I know what they're like.

In the beginning he was very full on, sweet and very affectionate. Now, 9 out of 10 times when they're meeting up he tells her to take the bus or a cab to his house, even though he drives and got a car sitting outside. She doesn't drive, she's always the one coming to him. They live in the same area, but still.

When she's there, he lets her wait outside for him whilst he's getting ready. Sometimes 10,15,20 min. On the rare occasion he meets her in public, he will tell her to order the food/coffee and he will be there in 5min, 5 mins turned to 45 min and she just sat there in the restaurant waiting for him.

He works in a low paid job, but blows the money on stuff for himself, and then he's broke when he's going out with her so she either pays or they go half. One time she went out with him three days in a row and she paid for everything.

When she calls him in the evenings, he always need "to finish the game" so can't talk, but promises to phone her later but never does.

When she tells me all these things, and I tell her it's not on, she will make excuses for him. I know she's obviously in love and think he's the best thing since sliced bread, but experience has taught me men like him are lazy CFers.

What do you think MN jury?

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 23/10/2018 11:48

It sounds like your friend has very low self esteem and even lower expectations if she thinks that’s a normal relationship.

dizzy174 · 23/10/2018 11:48

there's none so blind as those who can't see.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 23/10/2018 11:50

really what is the draw of this guy,...45mins late, the only reason I would stick around would be to pass him my bill when he arrived

Foxsbiscuits · 23/10/2018 11:54

In the beginning he used to pick her up from her house and drop her off, but now it's like he doesn't have to put in the effort. I honestly think it's because he's seen that she's willing to wait for him, the saying "people only treat you the way you let them" comes to mind. I've learnt this the hard way trust me.

I'm not saying he have to pick her up and drop her home, I just think there needs to be a balance, and right now everything is one sided.

OP posts:
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