Uninterested grandad

[catmum94]

I'm 22 weeks pregnant with my first and my dad has shown little to no interest in this. He already has one grandchild from my sister who he sees once a year at Christmas and he's not even asked me how I am, how the pregnancy is going etc.

We have a strained relationship anyway due to his behaviour when I was a teenager but am I being unreasonable if I've got to the point where I just don't care?

He's always treated me pretty badly but it was important that my children don't have the same view of him that I do.

Should I push it? Or should I just leave him to come to me even if I risk that not happening?

Sadly, if he wasn’t engaged with his own children, it is highly unlikely that grandchild will have any impact.

I would keep my children away from him as they won’t understand why he is so distant. He doesn’t deserve them.

I feel for you. Hard-won experience tells me that you can't force him to care. I bent over backwards to encourage my father to have a relationship with my children, but he doesn't care about them.
It's honestly better for them to not really know him, than for them to be continually rejected.

To be honest OP, I don't think it matters which you do, I think you haven't got much chance of succeeding in getting him interested whichever approach you try. If he's not really interested in you or his existing grandchild, the chance of him suddenly becoming a doting Grandad this time are very low. Sorry .

I’m in the same position, OP. My DS is nearly one and my father isn’t remotely interested. When I tried to talk to him about it, his response was “you can’t expect everyone to love him as much as you do”
He lives in another country so obviously he can’t just pop over but he makes literally no effort. Hasn’t sent (and won’t send) even so much as a card for his birthday. It’s his only grandchild as well and I really hate him for it. I’m very, very hurt by it all. I’ve resolved to go NC but I doubt he will even notice