To not want him to use the car now I've bought his share

[Upsadaisy]

H is a vile vile man. He wanted rid of the shared car to pay off the overdraft of joint account to then seperate the finances. I looked about to see what my share would buy in the car department and it wasn't a great deal. I offered to buy husbands share. he took it to a garage to get valued and then insisted I pay him half. I was hoping he would give me maybe a 100-500 leeway the miserable excuse for a man considering I need a car to take our kids to and from school (its not within walking distance).

Anyway I went and got a loan that I'm worried about paying, (hoping house sells in next 3 months so can pay it off). He has his share in his bank which is fare enough but now he's picked up the keys and gone out stating that he is still on the insurance for another week. I didn't stop him partly due to shock but partly also because I go back out on placement and i need him to be reasonable about looking after the kids which I talked to him about today and he knows perfectly well. Is he taking advantage or am I being unreasonable? He said he would put some fuel in if he uses it

oh my god! your better than me i would have gone crazy! Why should you be nice to him so he can have his kids whilst you work???? You have his kids whilst he works!!
Send him invoices for taxisin the kids to school and back then pay a baby sitter with the money whilst your at work!!! Then you don't have to ask him for anything!!

oh my god! how rude! he should have asked if he could borrow your car and he should be reasonable about looking after his children anyway without you having to pussyfoot around him. Oh I could be rude about him

Hide the keys in future, do not leave them lying around.

Oh I'm glad others think the same. I've had enough, I've been putting off seeing the solicitor to see about having him removed from the house but the time has come. He's just taking the mick all the time and I have so much course work thats due in that I'm not saying much (I normally do) just to keep the peace so I can do my work

I'd booby trap the keys if I could....one of those electric buzzer things that I controled or one of those seats in a car that would eject as soon as he sat in....imagination is going a little wild. The keys will most definately be hid from now on. How bad is that though that I'm having to hide things...he's not a very nice man.
He packed in his job and starts part time work as of monday and he wanted me to pay more money towards the bills because I'm a woman with kids there'l be some benefit or other for me and he won't get anything. The worse part of it is, he doesn't see anything wrong and looks genuinely shocked when I object.

I hate to see families break up but if your not happy the kids can't be either. Bit the bullet and get on with your life. Have you got family to help? i'm on all evening if you need to talk. Good Luck i'm think of you.

That man sounds like an utter tosser.

Look about for a key that looks the same as yours and leave that lying about. Wait till he steals the keys again, lock and bolt front door and grin through the window as he gets riled and has to go catch the bus

Agnes

what a wind-up merchant, no wonder you're riled. Sounds like a real bully to me, he knows you're worried about kicking up a fuss, that's why he does it. Well, sod him. No wonder you're separating, you're well shot of him!!!
Good luck to you in your placement!

Upsadaisy, you sound just like my SIL 6 years ago - her ex was similarly horrendous and even now still messes her about something rotten. She said/did nothing, just rolled over and took it because she too needed him to help with the kids, but it made no difference, just meant he walked off with a large interest in their house (that he hadn't paid the mortgage on in 4 years out of a 7 year period because he farted off to America without even telling her where he was when she had a 6 month old baby - arsehole!!), left her with a shit credit rating because of loans he'd taken out and CCJs he'd had that she knew nothing about, and was also constantly nagging at her to work the system so that he wouldn't have to pay for whatever because she could get tax credits/some kind of govt. help.

He said, having left her with 3 kids, that she should sell the house, 'get a 1-bed council flat' (cos that's so easy these days) and stop being so selfish about making him pay so much maintenance towards the house - which he still has an interest in, ffs!!! He has let her down so many times on childcare it is untrue - as he's moved 100 miles away, it's not like she can just go hand them over and 'make' him take them!

Anyway, sorry, that rant (God, I hate that shithead!) was to illustrate that such men are dyed in the wool selfish gits, and you need to arrange your life to suit you, not him. If you rely on him, it is highly likely that something more important (to him) will crop up and you will be left high and dry.

Take care of yourself and your dcs first and foremost, please. Good luck with the placement!

I haven't been on mumsnet since last posted on this thread thanks for your replys!

Sep1712 - thankyou

Agnesitt - he is most definately a tosser, I'm liking your idea of the key. It would certainly give me a chuckle or two.

Ladymariner - thankyou

Lovecat - that guy sounds like a real piece of work! and your right I need to make plans for help without him. He is not the reliable kind.

We've had numerous rows about the blumin car he thinks i'm being so unreasonable. I'm so tired of it all. Just want to hide away in my room when he's in house. Had a viewing today and it sounded positive please keep your fingers crossed for me that an offer for the house comes back in next few days.

Does anyone know if I need two solicitors when house does get an offer? A joint one with H to sort out the sale of the house and then a seperate one to sort out divorce and gaining more than a 50 50 share?

not sure but I think you will need 2 solicitors as they need to act in the best interests of their clients so can't act for 2 opposing parties???

yeh thats what i thought too

hi how are you doing today??