Infidelity?

[staceyflack]

Aibu... to be very hurt that when i was 6months pregnant with our second child, my now ex husband met up with a beautiful, younger, single mum, he knew fancied him, that he met at a meditation type dance class, because they had "a deep connection". How would other's feel?

He didnt have physical / sexual contact with her apart from the dancing. They met for coffee / play date with our toddler and hers. But it was by accident i found out - we are divorced now and our children are older. He actually left me, after a year of marriage - it was a terrible shock - hence still analysing after nearly 6 years. Agggh.

He deemed me possessive and pathologically jealous. Couldn't seem to grasp why i was so upset and consequently couldnt really be sorry.

For me, worse than the infidelity is the feeling I have to re-write history. Things that I felt were true at the time can't be relied on and have to be reinterpreted in the light of later knowledge. Makes me doubt my judgement on anything. Are you subconsciouly feeling any of this?

I'm sorry you went through that pain and that is a good approach nottonight (I actually do feel sorry for his GF) I don't miss him… I miss my children and still struggle to accept the new life. I have a much, much better partner now but my ex is still in my life /thoughts because our children live alternate weeks with us both. He is one of those SuperDad types - which is good in some ways obviously, for the children - but it broke me being apart from the kids so much and I am still exhausted by trying to accept it. None of it was my choice - and he blames me for the break up. I have to get over it, for everyones sake - I want to be happy - and the children don't even remember us being a couple now. I try not to blame - but I still feel so resentful. I want to forgive and forget - but how?

And yes MereDinto…. what did any of it mean...

It’s really awful, but I don’t think you can dwell and make yourself miserable. It happened, it’s shit, but he’s already caused you enough pain and tears.

I think you need to focus on the here and now. Keep yourself busy. Maybe look into counselling to talk it through, and ask for help in moving on?

Just be glad he's an Ex. He wasn't worth it.