AIBU to ask for counselling suggestions/advice

[Justawonderer2018]

Hello, I wanted to ask whether anyone had any recommendations for a good counsellor? I am London based and don't mind travelling within.

I've had counselling once before several years ago and tbh didn't find it that helpful. I think really I want to go again now because I've come out of a long relationship but am still very co-dependent on my ex partner and it's making moving on hard. Recently I met someone else and I don't know if I sabotaged it myself or my instincts were correct but either way I know I feel very worried about getting hurt again and I'm starting to close myself off to people.

Im not even sure if counselling will really help but I'm willing to give it a go.

Id be grateful for any advice or suggestions!

I would suggest going to the BACP or UKCP (professional counselling organisations) websites and using their find a therapist directories.

With the issues you describe I would look for someone with a psychodynamic approach. This will involve exploring your family and relationship histories to try and understand the unconscious beliefs and attitudes you have developed that effect your current relationships.
It can be very helpful.

Once you have found counsellors that are geographically convenient to you, visit them for a first consultation before committing to any contract. The client/counsellor alliance is the single most important factor in the effectiveness of any talking therapy so you need to be sure that you are working with someone you trust and feel confident with before embarking on regular sessions. If you are lucky that might be the first person you see but you might need to visit a few people before you find the right person for you. Any good therapist will understand this and won’t press you to commit to them if it doesn’t feel right to you.

I went to the BCAP. I have a complex mental illness and was lucky to find someone local to me.

The right therapist will never pressure you to commit to a session.