Hello everyone I am posting here a little bit for traffic but also I am sure this is really strange and unreasonable.
Ive been driving for over 10 years i have a w
2 year old dd and im pregnant with dc2 due in feb.
Recently dh and i have been in talks about me getting a new car ive had mine for a good few years now but it's quite low so It can be a bit of a struggle getting in and out and also it's very uncomftable to drive. Dh was asking me about what sort of size engine I want and talked about the difference to performance and speed (obviously he knows I'm not going to he whizzing around and speeding I never have it was just general chat. He loves cars) all of a sudden I started feeling really hot and panicky at the thought of having a powerful car that's capable of much higher speeds then my current car even though I would never make use of that.
Dh has also been talking about passing his driving test (he drives a motorbike) and again that made me extremely panicky and I realised that I can't be a passenger the idea scares me so much it's so irrational.
My anxiety started earlier this year when dh and i went to Spain for a few days we got a taxi from the airport to the hotels about a 40 min drive and the taxi driver was driving very fast and quite aggressively dh had to ask the taxi driver to slow down because he could see all the colour had drained from my face and I was shaking and getting tearful.
Since the incident in Spain I almost always refuse to be a passenger especially if the journey involves the motorway or dual carriageway I just can't do it I start getting upset and panicked.
It's even started happening when I'm diving now I'm okay if I'm on my own or just with Dd but if anyone else is in the car I get nervous and my mind is in overdrive its like I think about the car crashing in my head and how if the other person is killed or seriously injured it will be all my fault even though I'm driving at a perfectly safe speed and using mirrors and indicators. I feel like I want to talk to everyone irl about how I'm feeling but I don't know how to bring it up.
We are booked up to go Tenerife next year and im already getting worked up about the journey from the airport to the hotel.
What's going on with me? Will I ever snap out of it? I'm only 28 but this fear is taking over my life. I've also got very scared of my own mortality I find i think about dying most days and secretly spend a lot of time worrying about it. I never used to be like this.
Please help anyone?