To think my 12mo prefers my DM to me

[Cleo2628]

My DM is very invoked with my 1yo DD. She adores her and sees her most days & I really appreciate the help as DH is away for work often. (Although DM can be quite patronising towards me & seems to doubt my abilities to parent sometimes.)

My DD LOVES my DM. If my DM is holding her & I got to take her she’ll turn away. If my DM leaves the room she cries, but doesn’t cry I leave the room. I’m getting really down about it :( am I just being over emotional?

Involved not invoked!!

haha, my 3 kids adore mum, would move in with her if they could I'm glad they have such a great relationship with each other, don't worry your dd will still love you,( my 7 year old still crys when it's time to leave grandma's house, she soon gets over it 😂

Maybe even though your dh is away a lot it would do you some good to have a few more alone days with your dd. Just do you can appreciate the bond you do have.

Despite me doing most of the childcare, my DD was a massive Daddy's girl at that age. It was a bit hurtful, to be honest! I think it might be a bit of a phase they go through, to move away from Mum for a while?

My DS is utterly in love with PIL. They were very involved from the day he was born and did some childcare too. He used to cry when I picked him up which I found galling.

However now he’s 5 they are so close and it’s a joy for all of them and gives me a really welcome break.

Just think of all the love being good for him, provided your DM respects you and your authority, which my PIL always did.

Both of mine were exactly the same with my DM. They are still very close now and it's joyous to see. They absolutely adore each other, such a special bond.

Hey your baby loves you, don't doubt it. My baby used to do this with her CM! Used to break my heart but what it actually means is that they feel so secure of your unconditional love that they know they can do this and you'll still love them. I've worked with children in dysfunctional abusive families and sadly they reach out and cling to their abusers. So don't read anything into this, it's entirely normal.

All 3 of mine have done this with my DH, and TBH, it's hurt like hell each time as with each one I took a year off work and did everything with them. But...it's a phase, as then you become the best thing since sliced bread...until you're not again. However, I know it feels painful, so my tips are to try and put your baby to bed and up the one on one time until the equilibrium is re-established. I am - just - coming out the other side with DC3 and I'm feeling so much better. Good luck. I'm sure you're doing an amazing job 

Totally normal- she’s going to be like you, but with less rules and no chores to do when she comes round so undivided attention- what’s not to love! I heard a comedian discuss this once, and he made the observation that “the woman who is my children’s grandmother is not the mother that I grew up with- that is an aging lady trying to get into heaven”

DD is the same. Cries when anyone else leaves the room but not so bothered about me. DH tells me it's because she's knows I'll always come back but I'm still trying to convince myself that's what it is.

For reference, we are home together 3 days a week, she's spends 1 day a week at each grandparents and I work the mornings at the weekend so she is with DH then.

This is just a phase and totally normal. Please don't worry. You will ALWAYS be her true number one.

Seeing your mum "most days" seems a little intense. Are you really happy with this or is it time to step back and stand on your own?
Personally, I love it if my DH is away and it's just DS and me but everyone is different.