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AIBU?

To think he is controlling

7 replies

TheOneWhereRossSucks · 21/10/2018 15:16

(Disclaimer: this isn't real - check my username 🤓)

I have recently started a job that is a dream job and has amazing potential for promotion eventually, I love my job and it’s the first time I have had a career and some independence. I’m really happy with my job but my boyfriend is upset that I am working late hours and hardly seeing him.
He keeps turning up at my office with picnics and sending so many bunches of flowers that they actually fill the room, he even managed to set fire to some of three flowers with a candle on an attempt to bring us a picnic. I know he was trying to be nice but I had already told him that I didn’t have the time to stop.

He’s insanely jealous of me working with a male colleague and is convinced I am going to leave him for this other man which was never going to happen.
He even decided to come to a work related seminar with me so I didn’t go with my male colleague and then fell asleep and snored through most of it.
When I was angry about it, he made out that my job isn’t worthwhile as it’s only in fashion and I should be there for him more.

I eventually said we should take a break and so we did break up, I called him and told him I wanted to get back together but as soon as he heard my male colleague (who had just come over with Chinese food and to lend a friendly ear) asking about a drink, he hung up.

I found out that he went and slept with another woman.
I know we were broken up but he really hurt me by doing that when we were both hoping to sort it out, get back together and were still in love.
It was straight away that evening, how could he care so little about me to do that.

Now everyone is saying that I should just forgive him because we were on a break but his behaviour is hardly that of a loving and supportive boyfriend, AIBU to think he was being controlling and I’m better off without him?

OP posts:
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Mrsglitterfairy · 21/10/2018 16:00

You were on a break! You ended it with him, he needed a shoulder to cry on. When you got back together, you asked him if he wanted you to be his girlfriend again, therefore you were not his girlfriend when he slept with the other girl.
He did go crazy jealous, he needs to know that you won’t put up with that shit but he’s probably just scared about losing you, he did wait since 9th grade to finally get together with you

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Glumglowworm · 21/10/2018 16:12

He’s a dick. Don’t waste the next ten years of your life being on-again-off-again with such an idiot!

Regardless of what he did when you were on a break, his behaviour beforehand was creepy and controlling.

This is what you get when a guy has been obsessed with you since high school, he can’t cope with you being a real person rather than on a pedestal

(I just watched this episode last night and ugh Ross!)

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Thingsdogetbetter · 21/10/2018 16:13

9th grade?

Coming to your work and sending tons of flowers is him marking his territory- you. You told him to stop and he ignored you. Belittles your life choices - your job - and demands your time. This guy does not trust you (and that is nothing to do with you, it's all him) and is extremely insecure and jealous. Escorting you to a work seminar is bizarre! And then embarassing you in front of colleagues. They must have thought WTF! He sleep witb someone as revenge for you daring to have a life that doesn't revolve solely around him.

Are you never going to work with a man to keep him happy? Make him the centre of your universe? If you step out of line again, how will he 'punish' next time? You are always going to be placating his insecurities if you get back with him.

If he's scared of losing you, he should stop acting like a possessive wanker. I say you're well rid!

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MissionItsPossible · 21/10/2018 16:13

YOU WERE ON A BREAK

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MissionItsPossible · 21/10/2018 16:15

Also, AIBU to think that woman that makes up sounds about foul smelling cats is slightly erm.. weird?

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ANellRetentive · 21/10/2018 16:45

These threads are stupid, what is the point?

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Nanny0gg · 21/10/2018 17:04

These threads are stupid, what is the point?

Especially when you have to explain them first.

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