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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to ask how much pocket money/allowance you give to your teengager?

69 replies

cariadlet · 21/10/2018 14:41

My 16 year old dd would like to have a bank account and debit card like some of her friends. My dp and I have agreed that it will be a good chance for her to practice budgeting if we give her a monthly allowance.

Currently we don't give her pocket money as my MIL already does this (so as not to dripfeed this is a sore point with me as MIL started to give dd pocket money when she was a toddler without consulting me or my dp. I'd have preferred to wait until she was a bit older. MIL has also always given dd more money than I think appropriate - I would have liked her to have a bit less so that she could learn to save for treats from a young age).

DD used to have a part-time job but had to give it up because of health issues.

At the moment dp and I give dd money for her weekly bus ticket to school (next town so needs the bus), £10 a month for her phone (the rest comes out of her pocket money), I take her shopping a couple of times a year for new summer/winter clothes and will buy clothes/shoes in between if she gives me a good reason why she needs them. If she wants to go out with friends she used to use her wages to pay for this. Now she sometimes uses her pocket money and sometimes I'll give her money.

I'd love it if anyone with teenagers could let me know how much money they give them, what they expect the dc to pay out of it and what they still pay for themselves.

I'm supposed to be working so am going to log off Mumsnet for a few hours and will check back in this evening. If anybody takes the trouble to reply before then please don't think I'm being rude and ignoring you! Thanks

OP posts:

TheyBuiltThePyramids · 21/10/2018 19:54

My nearly 15 yo gets £15 a week in her account plus phone contract. I buy basic clothes and toiletries. Any Superdry type purchases/make-up/social activities she has to pay for herself. She is very good at saving it though mind.

Original poster

cariadlet · 21/10/2018 20:14

Thanks for all the comments. It's interesting to see how much others give and what dc are expected to pay for out of that. Lots for us to think about.

OP posts:

MrsJonSno · 21/10/2018 20:37

My daughter is 14 and doesn’t get ocket money at a set amount. I pay for her mobile contract @ £20 a month, PlayStation plus and another monthly game subscription (about £15 a month total average) and then she asks for things if she needs them- clothes, shoes, makeup etc. If she goes to the shops or cinema with friends she’ll ask for money or for a DVD or CD or book etc but she doesn’t ask for lots. I find my younger daughter (5) costs more with swimming lessons, ballet, martial arts etc.

scaryteacher · 21/10/2018 20:39

I used to give £60 per month and pay phone contract, and buy clothes, but ds was boarding in UK for sixth form and we were posted abroad.

AlphaBravo · 21/10/2018 20:40

How has she got to 16 without a bank account? Why doesn't she have one?

Most of us got one at 11yrs old in the 90s 🤷🏼‍♀️ don't the banks go to schools anymore?

scaryteacher · 21/10/2018 21:12

AlphaBravo My ds didn't have a UK bank account til he was 16 as he didn't need one. He had one in Belgium, where we lived, but preferred that I bought him things from Amazon in lieu of an allowance.

AlexanderHamilton · 21/10/2018 21:17

The situation with dd is different as she’s at college away from home so I give her £30 a week to cover lunches, personal toiletries and food at weekends plus books etc for college. We also pay her phone contract. Holiday times she gets £10 per week.

Fairylea · 21/10/2018 21:18

I feel quite relieved reading some of these answers as I felt bad that we don’t give dd pocket money as such but I see it’s not that unusual. She is 15 and gets two large lots of money from relatives etc per year - Christmas and birthday which she pays into her bank account and spends throughout the year as she wishes (her birthday is 6 months after Christmas so it works well!)
We give her an odd £10-15 if she wants to go out somewhere but thats only maybe once a month ish. I buy clothes and bits for her regularly, if we go out and she sees something she likes and it’s reasonably priced then I’ll get it for her. We pay £10 a month for her phone.

If she had weekly money into her account I think she would end up better off than we are! (Quite low income family.

Mistigri · 21/10/2018 21:25

My 15 year old gets €30 (£25) a month. I pay for his mobile contract and his clothes. It doesn't sound like much but he always seems to have plenty of money in his account. He tends to save up for eg so he can put money towards a better phone.

My 17 year old lives away from home and has €400 (£350) a month after rent, but she has to pay food and bills out of that. I pay for her mobile contract and I also paid for her annual travel card.

notangelinajolie · 21/10/2018 21:25

DD is now 17 and has a part time job so I don't give her any spends but as she is under 18 her phone contract is in my name so I do still pay for that. When this contract runs out she will be paying for her own phone. I also pay £20 a month for her gym membership which I think is important.

Before she had a job, in addition to the above I gave her £25 a week spends.

itbemay · 21/10/2018 21:42

I used to give my 16 year old £120 per month but this included lunch at school and everything else. Now she's 18 and works full time internship so I rarely give her anything as she earns, sometimes I put petrol in her car or buy small treats - dry shampoo, face wipes etc

IncyWincyGrownUp · 21/10/2018 21:43

My daughter gets roughly £100 a month between me and her dad. I pay for a basic sim only deal on top, because I want to know she’s got the ability to call and be called. I provide one winter coat/pair of school shoes/school uniform/basic underwear. There are toiletries in the bathroom and there are laundry products for the washer. Anything else she wants is her own business. Works for us.

sleepless19 · 21/10/2018 22:05

I had £3 a week from my Nan and my £20/month from my parents + £10/month for my phone.
When I was 16, I had a part time job straight away and all my pocket money got stopped. So I had to pay for my phone, bus fare (I regularly walked the 2 miles to and from college to save money) and anything else I wanted. I occasionally got treated to clothes or dinner out but I paid for the rest.
It wasn't harsh - it taught me a good lesson in money management. And this wasn't along time ago! I'm only 24 so this is fairly recent.
A lot of the teenagers on here sound like they're getting it a lot easier then I did! And that will come back to bite the parents!

AjasLipstick · 21/10/2018 22:08

My 14 year old has her contract paid for and she gets about ten-twenty pounds a week for when she meets her friends at weekends. We also pay for her travel pass....she would'n't need one for school, it's just so she can go to the shopping centre and into town for the cinema etc.

IncyWincyGrownUp · 21/10/2018 22:22

sleepless

My daughter is a young carer. She works hard already, so gets the appropriate recompense for that.

I also don’t have much time for forcing sixteen year olds to get jobs. The government states they have to be in some form of training until 18, so I’ll support her in that endeavour. She may well be lucky enough to get a bursary too, which is great as art supplies and editing softwares aren’t cheap. Her allowance will continue until she leaves compulsory education. She’ll have a long time after that to learn that the world of employment mostly sucks you dry.

mycatplotsdeath · 21/10/2018 22:25

@sleepless19 just because my children got more pocket money than you, does not make them precious snowflakes.
Dd1 is now 26 and a nurse, who had a job through college and uni.
Dd2 also had a job at McDonald's while at college, she is now a training to be an accountant.

Non of which has come back to bite me on the arse!

Original poster

cariadlet · 21/10/2018 22:32

How has she got to 16 without a bank account? Why doesn't she have one?
Most of us got one at 11yrs old in the 90s 🤷🏼‍♀️ don't the banks go to schools anymore?

She doesn't have one, because she's never needed one. She uses cash (pocket money, birthday money or money I give her when needed) if she goes out with friends or goes shopping for extras. If she wants to buy something off the internet then she checks with me, uses my amazon/ebay/paypal account and gives me the cash.

She does have savings, but isn't able to take money out of those accounts so it isn't the same as having a bank account that she has to manage herself.

I was the same way back in the 80s (except we didn't have the internet then). My mum and dad opened up a savings account for me when I was in my teens (I used to put some of my birthday/Christmas money in, but didn't take money out), but I didn't open up a current account until I went to university. It was the same for most of my friends.

OP posts:

nicebitofquiche · 21/10/2018 22:42

I know someone who gave her children the child benefit. But out of that they had to buy everything themselves, they got nothing extra.

sleepless19 · 21/10/2018 22:52

@mycatplotsdeath @IncyWincyGrownUp

I didn't say anything about precious snowflakes, just that a lot of teenagers seem to be getting a lot of money (my parents simply couldn't afford it for me so maybe this is the normal and i didn't realise)

You should both be very proud of your children (I'm also a nurse so I know how hard your daughter would have worked and will be working for many years to come)

I simply meant that sometimes helping you're children too much can have a repercussions later on. Sometimes if it's handed to them on a plate, they don't learnt the important lessons of money management, earning their own money when they're old enough

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