To not do ‘rounds’ on a night out

[BabbysYed]

I don’t drink alcohol a lot - maybe a couple of times a month and 3 drinks usually my maximum.
Last night was out on a rare dancing night out with friends and they quickly wanted to do rounds. I said I’d get my own because the drinks were v expensive (£9 for a g+t, £10 for a cocktail) and me not drinking much.
I didn’t want one person paying £50 for a round and I didn’t want to pay £50 myself, so I got myself a cocktail and had a couple of mocktails later (£3.50 each)
I felt a bit excluded from the group due to this, but I don’t think I was being unreasonable to buy my own? Another friend who came who also doesn’t really drink, I bought her a g+t at her request as I owed her money for a taxi. She only drank a quarter of it, but still got involved in the rounds despite leaving most drinks bought for her. Another reason why I was reluctant to get involved as I hate wastage like that.
Is it impolite to not ‘do’ rounds ?

We do a whip on a night out.

Tbh, a member of the group not contributing would be a tad antisocial. It’s not really in the spirit is it? I’d bung in money regardless of what I was drinking.

*staying out of the rounds not kitty

YWNBU. I hate rounds. Would rather buy my own (less expensive, frequently non-alcoholic) drinks at my own, slower rate.

It's the same as splitting the bill. Vastly more popular amongst those who eat and drink more, or have more expensive tastes.

Basically the cocktail downing, steak and lobster eaters want their pizza and coke consuming friends to subsidise their night out and have the cheek to call scrooge when someone is brave enough to not fall for it.

Rounds are a con usually suggested by the alchy of the group

Basically the cocktail downing, steak and lobster eaters want their pizza and coke consuming friends to subsidise their night out and have the cheek to call scrooge when someone is brave enough to not fall for it.

I'm sure that's sometimes true but it's unfair to say it always is. I'm a vegetarian beer drinker so I'm rarely the one with the most expensive food or drink, but I still prefer bill splitting and rounds. I also always offer to get both coffees when meeting a friend for coffee. For me the point of socialising is sharing, and quibbling over a couple of quid isn't worth it FOR ME (again, I don't judge other people who prefer just to pay for their own). I also don't have any friends who would take advantage, though, and wouldn't consider them friends if they did.

What do you mean you ‘felt a bit excluded’?

‘Hate wastage’ 😂

We often go out with friends, sometimes in a large group. I drink at least half as much as everyone else, sometimes only one as I regularly drive and not remotely interested in getting pissed. Never do rounds and won't be guilted into them.

If i am just out with one other person i usually do rounds just cos its easier (e.g. tale it in turns to go to the bar while the other looks after stuff at the table) but i cba in larger groups

I'll do rounds if I'm out with say 2 other friends and it will balance out. I'll accept a drink from a friend who has plenty of spare cash and offers, I will always offer to return the drink. I won't accept a drink from a friend who doesn't have loads of space cash and I definitely don't offer to get a round in a big group as I can't afford it!

The advantage of rounds is you don’t have to queue at the bar each time for a drink. The wait in some bars would be well worth the lost money for me

I don't do rounds unless with one other friend drinking similarly. If someone insists on buying me a drink, that's fine, but I make it clear I won't be getting a round in back. It's usually men who see rounds as compulsory imo.

A whip works. I don't mind rounds and always buy a rpund for colleagues. I'm the head of dept and it's right thst I should. What irks is the one person who never buys a round and never has cash for the whip but never misses an order. There's always one. When I was a colleague it was ok to bant a bit. Now it isn't and that person has staff too now and they will offer a round despite earning half their salary.

Is it meanness, lack of confidence or just taking the piss. I don't know.

YANBU. The only time I do rounds is when I meet up with old uni friends. There's 5 of us and we just go round a few pubs nothing fancy. We all drink similar drinks at similar speeds so just makes sense for us then.

Any other time, it becomes a nightmare so I don't get involved. There's always some sneaky bugger that manages to sponge drinks all night but never gets their own round so I just stay out of rounds, not worth the hassle

A whip round is a good idea. I go to football matches with DH and "the lads" so when we go to London for a trip we usually have a pot then. But again this only works because they all drink beer, I drink cider and it's not too awkward, if people are ordering 10 completely different drinks it becomes a problem to keep track

I don't mind rounds but i also don't mind if people want to buy their own. Rounds just makes it only one transaction each time I suppose so easier in that way

I do get anxious about making sure onbuy mine though!

We do rounds, if the group goes bigger than 5 then we do split rounds. We're all big drinkers generally but if someone was on the soft drinks then they'd not be buying drinks for everyone

My mate the other night was staying for one only but he still gets bought a drink in the round cos he can just get one next time. We're all actual friends though and ate often buying each other stuff and paying for each others dinners /tickets/travel/chocolates/whatevers

Basically the cocktail downing, steak and lobster eaters want their pizza and coke consuming friends to subsidise their night out and have the cheek to call scrooge when someone is brave enough to not fall for it.

(Hope I made this bold not sure I can work it right!)

Also not me, I drink beer which is often cheaper than spirits or wine and I still go in the round. I don’t know anyone who would order expensive cocktails in a round of no one else was. I also usually split the bill but am generally consuming one course less than others but I don’t see the point in causing a fuss over a few pounds, that being said I do usurpation someone who has had s lot less shouldn’t pay so much. Maybe you should stop going out with the lobster people?

*upspurstiin? Think I meant don’t expect - lots of typos in that post!

By saying I was a bit excluded I meant they would get their round in and all do the ‘cheers’ thing and generally make more of a point about having the drinks together. They weren’t being nasty and It wasn’t a big deal but I’ve experienced it before where I’ve been driving , friends have shared wine (2+ bottles so around £40) and the bill has arrived and they include me in the split and I’ve had to awkwardly say ‘I had a coke’.

you would only be unreasonable if you were included in the rounds and didn’t get one back.
If everyone drinks at the same pace rounds make sense and even out, but if you have non drinkers or low drinkers it’s best to stay out.

I don’t like rounds either. I find being in a round the very opposite of relaxing because once someone has bought me a drink I can’t relax until I have bought them one back.