Partner giving lifts to an exes adult child

[Whattheheck82]

AIBU being upset that my partner is going to pick up an exes 19 year old daughter who needs a 'taxi' from a town 25 mins away? My partner has to be up at 6.20am tomorrow for work yet is currently sat downstairs staying awake so he can pick her up! He had the audacity to ask to borrow my car (I said no) without actually 'telling' me he was going to do it!?

Actually I’d just be happy I had such a nice guy as a partner - you haven’t stated how long he was with ex - but he may well have been a father figure for the young lady for quite a while - so yes I think YABU

What time is he picking her up?
How long was in a relationship with the girls mum?

Why are you upset about it?

I would think he has a fatherly connection to her and is concerned for her safety. Why is that a bad thing? I think that clearly shows what a good man he is. What you've written makes you sound jealous and controlling.

His decision, I think. I can’t see how it affects you.

You'll have to be a bit more explicit about what you think the issue is.

Are you implying that he's 'interested' in her?

I think it's nice that she feels he's someone she can count on.

Yes i’d be annoyed. It’s cheeky to expect him to be a taxi service. What would she have done if he’d have said no. Saying that it’s the sort of thing my dh would do, he finds it hard to say no to anybody, and people tend to treat him as a mug.

Sounds like a good bloke to me. Presumably that’s why you love him, because he’s kind?

How long was he her father figure for? I think it sounds nice. You, on the other hand, sound unreasonably jealous.

Context please OP, was he a father figure to the woman? Was he in her life for a long time? Why are you annoyed? Surely it's his decision if he wants to be tired at work tomorrow?

If be annoyed if he was using my car without being honest about the reason. I'm sure she could get a cheap Uber/taxi without too much bother. How long have your and the ex's relationships been with him?

A very nice thing to do. Be glad you have such a kind man!

I agree with PPs, he sounds like a nice man. We're having to guess the context here OP as you haven't elaborated, assuming that he and ex were together for many years and he brought up child as his own for those years and has a fatherly concern for her.

19 isn't that old. I regularly offer to do laundry for & feed my God daughter who is 20 and studying near me. I'd pick her up in a heart beat if she was unable to get home, as I'd know she would have tried alternatives.

Assuming he was with her mum and in her life for some time, YABU. Sounds like a good guy.

I have a 17yo dd and I know if I split with my partner (not her dad) he would always be there for her no matter what. Your dp sounds lovely, you not so much (unless im missing something)

YABU. My partner’s ex has two teenage daughters from a previous relationship as well as a younger son with my partner. He helped raise those girls for years when they were little and is hugely fond of them. We send birthday cards/gifts and when my car was scrapped recently he took the stereo out and went round and fitted it in the older daughter’s car for her. I think it’s lovely that he still cares and is supportive of her. I would never begrudge him giving her a lift home - if he was tired for work the next day that would be his choice to make.

He’s not being forced into it though, he doesn’t have to pick her up so if he wants to I would leave him to it? Or are you worried about something else?

One of my friend’s ex-stepfather pays for him to fly home to the UK from Australia, despite the fact he and his mother broke up when he was around 12 after a six year relationship. Despite breaking up, they stayed in regular contact and have a fantastic relationship as adults.